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The Toy Box
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Weekly Topic
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Flirting
Flirting is harmless fun. According to Merriam-Webster online, flirting is defined as "to behave amorously without serious intent; to show superficial or casual interest or liking". Nowhere in that description do they mention anything malicious, conniving or dishonest. Flirting is a lighthearted means to make yourself and the object of your affection feel good about themselves. Most of us are secretly flattered when a person other than our spouse or significant other gives us a lingering glance or a mischievous smile.
From nature's standpoint, the goal of life is the survival of our DNA.
Sex is the way most animals gain the flexibility to healthfully sort and mix their genes. Getting sex, in turn, is wholly dependent on attracting attention and being attracted. And flirting is the way a person focuses the attention of a specific member of the opposite sex. If our ancestors hadn't done it well, we wouldn't be around to discuss it now.
Love thy neighbor was not a community-living dictate of a Kibbutz, but the slogan of a FLIRT (Forever Looking In Romantic Terms), was suffixed with Leave before the spouse returns. Like every thing else, the gentle art of flirting started with Adam trying to snatch the Fig leaf while wooing Eve, it was further refined with Lord Krishna's perpetual mischievous stealing of the clothes of the Gopis, and more recently whether it is the machismo 'My name is Bond' or that come hither tease Julia Roberts, the flirt is on the prowl. Flirting is like the Rum ball, looks temptingly cute, has a distinctive punch; one enjoys it through and through, but cannot be overindulged. It's like coffee; meant to stir but not shake.
Like every other human activity, flirting is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette. These rules dictate where, when, with whom and in what manner we flirt. We generally obey these unofficial laws instinctively, without being conscious of doing so.
We only become aware of the rules when someone commits a breach of this etiquette - by flirting with the wrong person, perhaps, or at an inappropriate time or place.
"In the days when women yet blushed, in the days when they desired to dissimulate this embarrassment and timidity, large fans were the fashion; they were at once both a countenance and a veil. Flirting their fans, women concealed their faces; now they blush little, fear not at all, have no care to hide themselves, and carry in consequence imperceptible fans." In the nearly two hundred years since Madame de Genlis� penned these lines, young ladies stopped blushing entirely. Investment and collecting have replaced flirting as a reason to possess fans.
Tango (the dance with the stop "Baille Con Carte") is one of the most fascinating of all dances. Originating in Spain or Morocco, the Tango was introduced to the New World by the Spanish settlers, eventually coming back to Spain with Black and Creole influences. The dance was initially considered immoral with its flirting music! As time elapsed and the music became more subdued, the dance was finally considered respectable.
In gay clubs people check each other out - honestly and openly; in straight clubs they pretend sex is the last thing on their mind. Sure, there�s room for ridicule and embarrassment under both regimes, and gay culture is truly merciless (no pecs, no sex), but at least gays get on with it. Looking at faces, measuring up bodies, winking at smiles, unashamedly lusting after each other - isn�t that the whole point? Many people love the flirting, the teasing and the tempting; the way everyone�s clear on why they�re there and what they�re after.
Just what do you call your "honey", what is your special Terms of endearment , when playfully beckoning that special one?
And now that we have explored the subject of flirting, the question is what kind of flirt are you?
What you aren't sure? Well for those that are still a little shy about flirting here are a few basic tips on flirting.
Photograph by Xavier Miserachs
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