Reed's Armory -- A Malcolm Reed Fanfiction Archive ..

Title: Snot Funny

Author: Zoe

Author's e-mail: [email protected]

Fandom: Enterprise

Pairing: Tucker/Reed

Rating: PG

Category: Slash

Summary: None Given

Author's Notes: For Qzee

Archived to Reed's Armory on 07/01/2005.

Malcolm sat in decon, deep in thought. He was thinking about the recent little excursion down to the planet, the one that resulted in him being covered in some sort of luminous sticky fluid; the one that resulted in him being stuck in decon on his own.

Oh, Captain Archer, Hoshi even Trip had escaped the soaking. He'd been frantically pushing the others back from whence they'd came, so much so he hadn't seen the cascade until it was too late. The green fluid covered him from head to toe, but that wasn't the worst of it. He'd been laughed at, ostracised to the back of the shuttlepod on his own, and called names by his supposed friends. Even his lover had joined in, and all he had been able to do was splutter and cough!

"Hey, Bogieman!" The voice startled him as it echoed around the small chamber. He glanced up to find a cheesy grin attached to his highly amused lover.

"If you've come down here to tease me, you can piss right off. I'm not in the mood." Malcolm lowered his head once more, intending to ignore the figure at the window.

Unfortunately, said figure had other plans. "Oh, come on Malcolm. If the tables had been turned, you'd have mocked me." Still Malcolm refused to speak. "Malcolm, darlin', lover, sweetie, honey pie."

Malcolm jumped up and marched towards the now openly laughing man. "If you don't stop, I'll.I'll."

"You'll what? Snot all over me? I don't think so."

Malcolm glared at his lover, who only grinned, glad that the armoury officer was safely in decon. Until a hand appeared on his shoulder.

"Ahh, Lieutenant Reed. You'll be pleased to know you can leave decon."

The moment Doctor Phlox said those words, Malcolm was racing out of the door. His dismayed lover had taken off too, but in the direction of the exit. Unfortunately for Trip, Captain Archer happened to open the door at just the wrong time.

The two men collided and collapsed in a heap of limbs. As they disentangled themselves, a peal of laughter could be heard. Malcolm couldn't contain his laughter. A twin set of glares from the two senior officers just made him laugh louder.

Standing, Trip held a helping hand out to Captain Archer. "I'm so sorry, sir. I never saw you there."

Using Trip's hand as leverage, Archer smiled. "The speed you were running, it's no wonder. Tormenting Malcolm again, were we, Trip?"

A faint flush crept on Trip's cheeks. "Yes sir. And just when I thought I was safe."

"I let Malcolm free. Well, it was about time for him to leave." Two sets of suspicious glances fell on Phlox and that man had the grace to look somewhat guilty. "It was!"

Malcolm patted Phlox on the back. "Well Doctor, I for one am very grateful to you. Come on, you. I have some.punishment to mete out." He grabbed hold of Trip's hand and pulled him out of sickbay, much to the chagrin of the southerner, and the amusement of Archer and Phlox.

The two men watched the lovers depart then, turning to Phlox, Archer asked the pertinent question. "Did you do that on purpose?"

"Do what on purpose Captain? All the micro-organisms were free of Malcolm's body, he was free to leave." He paused for a second, and then continued, "The fact I was monitoring it all on my view screen had nothing at all to do with it."

Archer smiled conspiratorially at Phlox. "You're very sneaky, Phlox. Remind me never to get on your bad side!"

~the end~