Reed's Armory -- A Malcolm Reed Fanfiction Archive ..

Title: Gonna Leave this World for a While

Author: Regina Bellatrix

Author's e-mail: [email protected]

Author's Web site: http://www.creativemachinations.com

Fandom: Enterprise

Pairing: Tucker/Reed/Reed

Rating: NC-17

Category: Slash

Warnings: DEATHFIC, AU

Summary: None given

Comments: For the record, I started this several months before the similar plot-bunny appeared in the EntStSlash bunny adoption centre, that just inspired me to actually finish it, though I was dreading the end.

Beta reader(s): shakespearespot

Archived to Reed's Armory on 04/20/2003.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it must be a duck. Then too, if he walks like Malcolm Reed, talks like Malcolm Reed, and looks like Malcolm Reed, he must be Malcolm Reed. But he wasn't. At least he wasn't Trip Tucker's Malcolm Reed. That man was standing beside him, dressed in his uniform, as always, and looking as shocked as he felt. The thing, person, or whatever that walked, talked, and looked like Malcolm Reed was standing in front of him, dressed in black leather, and looking terribly pleased. Whether he was pleased with himself or the fate that had been handed to him, Trip couldn't hazard to guess.

 

"I think I must have died and gone to heaven. Trip darling, I certainly never thought to see you again in this life, and who is that stunning creature standing next to you? Silly me, for asking such a question. It's me, of course. This really is quite fascinating."

The man, whoever he really was, sure did recover fast. Upon wakening in Sickbay a few moments ago, the only expression on his face was one of shock at the sights which greeted him. Now, he was striding about the place as if he owned it, scrutinising everyone in it carefully.

"You," he said, stopping in front of Captain Archer. "I killed you. This definitely isn't Kansas anymore. The question is where is it? And don't say Oz."

"Would you believe that you're aboard the NX-01 *Enterprise*?"

"NX-01? Not the T.E.S. *Enterprise*, N.C.C. 01?"

"T.E.S.?"

"Terran Empire Ship." At Archer's confused look, the man said, "You've never heard of the Empire, have you? No, obviously not. Never mind. Stupid question. How did I get on board your *Enterprise*? Last thing I remember, my shuttlepod fell into a wormhole."

"We detected your pod, adrift, and brought it on board to investigate. You were brought directly to Sickbay, with a nasty blow to the head. Needless to say, we were rather disturbed to find that your DNA matched that of our Malcolm Reed exactly. The going theory is that you're from a parallel universe. The wormhole you say you fell into certainly seems to support that theory."

"Considering that I'm standing in a room with two dead men and myself, I guess I'll have to accept your theory."

 

*Two dead men?* Trip gulped. So, his counterpart was no- longer among the living. He just hoped that Reed hadn't killed him too, though the man had seemed glad to see him.

Watching the man pace back and forth, Trip found himself fascinated by the pull of the leather across hard muscles. The seat of his tight pants was especially enthralling. The sharp jab to his ribs caught him off-guard and he turned to the man next to him with a surprised look.

"What w's that for?" Malcolm's only reply was to thin his lips and give him `the Look.' His eyes slid pointedly to his leather clad doppelganger and back to Trip, and Trip said, "Oh. Sorry."

Looking back at the other occupants of the room Trip found that both Archer and Malcolm's double were staring at them. Archer managed to keep a straight face watching Trip get chastised for his wandering eye, but the other Reed was grinning broadly.

"Never could keep your eyes off a tight ass could you, Trip old-boy? You're the reason I started wearing the black leather you know," the man said, stepping closer. "You said it made me look sexy, dangerous."

Trip felt like a bird caught in a cobra's gaze as the man stalked toward him. He was rooted to the spot, staring into the strange, yet familiar blue depths of the man's eyes, and his heart pounded in his chest. A pair of soft lips moved bare centimetres from his own, and he registered the silken voice whispering, "I've missed you so much, Trip. I..."

 

"Excuse me," broke in the same voice, but cool and ever so polite, "but this is my Charles Tucker the Third, not yours. While I sympathise with your loss, I would appreciate it if you would respect my prior claim and leave him alone."

"What, you won't even share with yourself?"

"You are not I."

"No, I can see that. You're cold. Cold as a Vulcan. How did you ever manage to end up with someone as warm as Trip Tucker?"

 

Trip looked from one Malcolm to the other as the two faced off in the middle of Sickbay over him. He saw the sapphire eyes of his Malcolm flash briefly and knew the other man's words had hurt him. The other Malcolm saw it too, smiling grimly. He had known precisely what to say to hurt his counterpart the most, and Trip thought that perhaps the two weren't so different after all.

"He ended up with me," said Trip, coming to his lover's defence, "because we love each other. I'm eternally grateful that he hasn't thrown me over yet `cause of my propensity to be a total blockhead. You're j'st plain wrong about him bein' cold. Hell, if he were any warmer, I'd've melted into a useless puddle long ago."

The two identical gazes of total adoration that were turned on him as a result of his little speech came near to turning him into said useless puddle. He was saved from this fate by his old friend Archer, who chose that moment to regain control of the situation.

 

"A-hem. If you gentlemen are done with your ... property dispute over there, perhaps you, Commander, Lieutenant, could take our guest to the mess hall for lunch and then find him some quarters to stay in until we can get him home. I'm sure I can trust you to refrain from any public disputes."

"Aye, Sir."

"Sure thing, Cap'n."

"I'll behave myself."

 

Trip supposed that he should have expected the crew's reaction when he walked into the mess, two Malcolms in tow. All eyes were on them, and the alternate Reed strutted out ahead of him, eyeing the curious crew right back. A few of the female crew seemed to be having a hard time keeping their tongues from hitting the floor, and Trip felt an irrational surge of jealousy. He tore his eyes away and scanned the room for Travis and Hoshi, who he knew were supposed to be eating lunch now. They were just across the room, staring like everyone else, and Trip gritted his teeth at the undisguised lust in the young linguist's eyes.

Still, now that he'd spotted them, it would be rude not to join them. "C'mon guys. Let's get somethin' to eat and go sit. Mal and I'll introduce you to some of our friends, Reed."

 

The intense attention dwindled as the trio went about gathering their food and made their way to the table seating the two ensigns.

"Ensign Hoshi Sato, Ensign Travis Mayweather, I'd like to introduce you to Malcolm Reed. Say, you got a rank?"

"I was Captain for about a week, but now I guess you could say I've retired from Starfleet."

"Is this for real?" Travis asked, eyes bulging again at the introductions.

"Unfortunately," said Lieutenant Reed, sitting down, "it is. You'll have to forgive his appearance; he's from another universe."

"You don't approve of my dress?"

"Oh, it's fine. So long as one is doing a revival of *Xena: Warrior Princess*."

"And who are you? One of the mindless drones in *1984*?"

 

The temperature at the table seemed to drop by a good ten degrees as the two sat sniping at each other. Blue eyes snapped cold sparks, and they both were beginning to finger their utensils in a way that Trip did not find at all comforting. He decided then that he needed to break in before they came to blows.

"Hey now, boys. What'd the cap'n say about public disagreements? You both agreed to behave, now cool it."

"Yes, dear," was the automatic response from both Malcolms, setting them glaring at each other again. Trip sighed and took his own seat between them. It was going to be a long afternoon.

***

Malcolm watched his counterpart carefully poke around his quarters while he packed up a few uniforms, toiletries, and data PADDs. It had been decided that Malcolm would move in with Trip, and that his alternate universe self would stay in his quarters until a way could be found to return the man to his own universe. Oddly enough, the two men had begun bonding, getting on quite well as soon as Trip was called away to Engineering to deal with a leaky plasma injector.

The other Reed halted his inspection of the quarters, picking up a small photograph sitting on Malcolm's desk.

"That was taken the day I was accepted by Starfleet. Maddy came all the way from London to congratulate me in San Francisco."

"What's our sister doing these days in this universe?"

"Studying. She's an historian. Working on her Doctor of Philosophy degree. What's she doing on your side?"

"Madeline is dead," Reed said flatly. "Archer killed her."

"What?! Why?"

"To sever the last of my ties with Earth so that I'd come with him on Enterprise as his Tactical and Armoury Officer. I didn't want to leave my research position, you see, or my sister. She was the only family I had left."

"And he got away with it?" Malcolm was horrified.

"Jonathan Archer did whatever he pleased. Right up until the moment I killed him. I was one of the few he couldn't totally control. Still, I found Trip on Enterprise ... and Archer found out. He used him to keep me in check. In the end he started believing his own propaganda, and forgot that a man who has lost everything has nothing left to lose.

"He had Trip executed to punish me for disagreeing with him on the bridge, countermanding his orders. He really thought he was invincible. I hung on long enough to kill the son of a bitch, stayed a week as Captain, then gave the ship to T'Pol and took off in that shuttlepod you found me in."

 

"You were trying to kill yourself, weren't you? You didn't accidentally fall into that wormhole, you flew straight into the singularity."

Reed set the photo down, laughing self-depreciatingly. "I was hoping it was something that would crush the pod and me with it. I didn't realise that it was a wormhole until it was too late. When I woke in your sickbay and saw Trip I..."

A strangled sob escaped the man's throat, and Malcolm rushed to him, clasping his arms around him as tears began to trail down his cheeks. "Shhh... It's okay. You don't have to go back. I'll talk to the captain. I'm sure he'll understand. He could probably find you a research position, if you wanted."

"I w-want m-my Trip b-back."

"I know. I know." Malcolm gripped the other man tighter as he sobbed out his grief on his shoulder. He kissed the exposed neck, rubbing his hands up and down the tense back. The door chimed, and Malcolm called out softly, "Who is it?"

"It's me."

"Come on in, Trip." Reed continued to cry, and Malcolm continued to hold him.

 

Trip stiffened as he walked into the room. Malcolm could see the jealousy flash in his eyes for a moment before he registered the other man's heartbroken sobs.

"What happened?"

"He just... He was telling me what it was like in his universe."

"Just m-making a complete fool of m-myself you m-mean," said Reed, turning his head on Malcolm's shoulder so that he could see Trip.

"No, I don't." He kissed Reed's temple, lifting a hand to brush tears from the man's face. Looking back up, he found Trip watching the two of them with an odd expression on his face.

 

"And to think, the two of you were fixin' to kill each other when I left ya this afternoon." That got him a slight chuckle from both Malcolms, and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around them in an indiscriminate hug. "You know, you two are awful purty together."

"Are we now?" That was from the other Malcolm. He could tell because of the hoarse quality to his voice.

"You aren't entertaining any naughty thoughts, are you, Commander?" That was his Malcolm, no mistaking it.

"Ah might be, Lew-tennant." He sought out Malcolm's mouth with his own, flicking his tongue against the soft lips, asking for entrance, which was granted immediately. He was somewhat startled, but mostly really turned on, when another mouth joined in the kiss. The three-way embrace was awkward, each of them trying to taste the other two at once, and soon Trip was breathless.

Pulling back, he watched Malcolm kiss Malcolm, enthralled by the sight of his beautiful lover doubled like that. He was breathing heavily, and his erect member tented the front of his uniform, pulsing with every beat of his heart. Trip knew what he wanted, and he asked for it, only a small amount of hesitation in his voice.

 

"I know that you're prob'ly gonna think this is a bit weird," Trip ventured as the other two broke apart for breath, "but would you two let me watch you make love to each other? For a bit at least?"

"I wouldn't mind," said Reed, tears now gone, a happy smile gracing his features. "You Malcolm?"

"Works for me. A bit like masturbating for him only..."

"...more fun."

"Precisely."

 

Malcolm let Reed strip him first, uniform falling away as the other man's mouth moved along his collarbone, unerringly hitting all his most sensitive spots. He felt deliciously wicked, his own naked frame pressed into the smooth leather clad body of his doppelganger. Catching the other's mouth, he kissed him deeply, unbuttoning and peeling off the leather vest the man wore as his only top at the same time.

Experimentally, he sucked and nibbled at one exposed nipple the way Trip would to make him squirm. Reed responded exactly as he would have, grasping at him and moaning as he writhed in his arms. Pleased, Malcolm began to work at removing the leather pants. He planned on pleasuring the other man with every oral trick he loved best. Pants and underwear pooled around Reed's ankles, and Malcolm sank to his knees in front of him, a devilish glint in his eye.

 

Trip had thought the scene being played out before him, Malcolm stripping and being stripped, kissing and being kissed all at once, was arousing, but then Malcolm ... *his Malcolm* ... was on his knees before the other Malcolm, licking his cock in long, hard strokes, scraping his teeth lightly over the shaft, and suddenly sucking the length into his mouth, and his own cock leapt in response. His heartbeat lurched into a faster rhythm, breath coming in swifter and swifter gasps. Struggling to his feet from the spot he had claimed in Malcolm's desk chair, Trip shucked himself out of his uniform and stumbled over to fish out the tube of lubricant from the bedside dresser.

He immediately slicked himself up, biting back moans at his own touch, and squeezed out an extra dollop of lube as he approached the Malcolms. Standing behind Reed, he kissed along his shoulders, reaching his lube-coated fingers down to caress the tight opening to his body. Three fingers in, Reed came, knees buckling as he pumped his seed into Malcolm's mouth, where it was promptly swallowed.

With Malcolm's help, Trip lowered the man to the floor. There he and Malcolm kissed Reed back into full awareness, hands trailing along one another's bodies as they did so. Trip managed to monopolise Reed enough to insert his slick cock into the man's stretched hole, shuddering as the mushroom shaped head popped through.

 

Malcolm's penis, no, his whole body throbbed as he watched Trip slowly impaling ... himself. Seeing the play of pleasure across both men's faces was almost as erotic watching the act itself, and he moaned longingly. Trip must have heard, and his voice managed to cut through the erotic haze Malcolm was in.

"Mal, slick up and hop on."

Obeying unthinkingly, Malcolm grabbed the discarded tube of lubricant and spread it over himself. He kneeled between Trip's legs, performing as quick of a preparatory stretch and lube on his lover as he dared, knowing the man was fighting to keep from thrusting into the Malcolm Reed he was on top of until he himself was penetrated as well.

 

It was incredible. Penetrating while being penetrated, taking Malcolm while being taken by Malcolm. It was Trip's favourite fantasy made real. He gave the one under him a deep kiss and began to move. His world narrowed down rapidly into thrust forward and push back, and the sounds and scent of his lovers.

"Oh yes, Trip! Missed you... Love you... Faster, Trip."

"Oh God, you feel so good, Trip. My sweet, my beautiful, my darling Trip. Mine."

He loved it when Malcolm lost control enough to become vocal during sex. The sound increased his pleasure, and now, with two Malcolms babbling at him, he was being moved beyond pleasure into ecstasy.

In the end, Trip had no idea who came first. It all blurred together, the tightening around and being tightened around, the filling and being filled, into one massive sensory overload. When he came to his senses again, he was lying on his back on the floor, one Malcolm snuggled up on either side of him, sleeping peacefully. He knew that, whatever happened afterward, this was one night he would never forget.

***

"Ensign Sato, I thought you said that Lieutenant Reed and his counterpart were antagonistic toward one another."

"I did. They were," said Hoshi. "Travis tell him."

"It's true, Doc. At lunch yesterday I was sure they wouldn't get through the day without coming to blows."

"Well, they certainly seemed to have resolved their differences now." Phlox watched avidly as the twin Reeds snatched food off of each other's plates, chatting happily with Trip all the while. Lieutenant Reed leaned over to whisper into his doppelganger's ear, who nodded. In one fluid movement, they reached out with their forks to lift bits of pineapple from the unsuspecting commander's plate.

 

"I just don't get it," said Travis with a shake of his head.

Malcolm checked the time and stood, apparently offering some explanation as to why he was leaving to his breakfast companions. He leaned over to give Trip a farewell kiss, as he could often be seen doing on his more relaxed mornings. Relaxed and unconcerned, he repeated the action with the other Reed and sauntered out of the mess hall.

At their table, Phlox, Hoshi, and Travis exchanged startled looks, and Travis said, "Now I get it."

***

"I am so *jealous*, Commander," said Hoshi, setting down her tray and pulling out a chair across from Trip.

"Beg yer pardon?"

"Two words: Malcolm Reed. It was bad enough when you laid claim to one, but now you've got *two*. It's just not fair."

"Two?"

"Yes, two. Don't play dumb with me, Sir. Travis, Phlox, and I saw the three of you at breakfast this morning. You are definitely a ... trio."

"Oh."

" `Oh.' That's all you have to say? You've got two hot, sexy, *identical* men to keep your bed warm, and all you can think to say is `oh?!'"

"Hoshi, keep your voice down, woman! It's not what you think. I mean ... it is, but... I don't know. I don't know what happened, really. Was it a night of comfort for the heart-sick, plain-old lust and hot sex, or something else ... something more? I can't say."

"You want to know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think that you and Malcolm were meant to be together: two parts of the same whole. Now, this new Malcolm, from what I can see, he's still essentially *Malcolm*. A bit discoloured and frayed around the edges, but Malcolm. Seems to me, you'd be throwing away a ... a part of the clockwork if you rejected him.

"Of course, there are a number of women on this ship who'd be happy to snatch him up if you did. But he wouldn't be happy. And neither would you and our Malcolm."

"You really think so?"

"Would I say it if I didn't?"

"I dunno, you c'n be pretty crafty sometimes, Hoshi."

"Oh, oh, look what the cat dragged in."

 

Hoshi pointed to the door of the mess hall, and Trip turned in time to see Malcolm walk in with the other Malcolm at his side. The two weren't touching, but somehow it seemed as though they were tethered together as they moved through the hall to where Trip and Hoshi sat.

The pair came to a halt next to the table, and civvies clad Reed draped himself on his uniformed twin in a decidedly sensuous manner. Trip's pulse raced at the sight, and heads started to turn throughout the mess.

"May I remind you that we are in public?" said Malcolm to his double mildly.

"Spoil sport." Reed kissed Malcolm on the cheek and disentangled himself from the other man obediently.

"Hedonist."

"But you love me anyway?"

"Of course."

"Hey," said Trip with a pout, "ain't you forgettin' somebody?"

The Malcolms exchanged a grin and said, in unison, "We love you, too, Trip."

"Glad t' hear it. You know, this," he motioned at the two of them, "oughtta say somethin' pretty profound about your ego Malcolm."

"Like how much it's improved since you picked me up?"

"'Scuse me?"

Malcolm rolled his eyes. "Incase you hadn't noticed, when you initiated this relationship of ours my self-esteem was not one of my high-points. You should be pleased that I've come to think this well of myself."

"Maybe. Think I'm mostly jealous, though."

"You asked for it," Reed reminded him.

"Indeed you did," said Malcolm. "Hoshi, we're being abominably rude. You and Trip were having a conversation before we wandered over. Please continue with it."

 

"Oh, that's alright," Hoshi replied as the two sat down. "We were just talking about you."

"You were?" asked Malcolm.

"Uh huh. I told the commander how incredibly jealous I was of him for netting you two."

"Yeah, an' she said somethin' about it not bein' fair, an' snatchin' you away. You boys better watch y'rselves." Trip was grinning broadly, and Hoshi stuck her tongue out at him.

"That is out of context. I would never steal anyone's man. Even if he does have more than he deserves."

"Context, shmantext."

"Context is everything, Mister Tucker."

"You're in trouble now, Trip," said Malcolm with a laugh. "She broke out the `Mister Tucker.'"

"As long as he doesn't push her to the `Charles Tucker the Third' he can still redeem himself, though."

"True."

 

"You two have entirely too much fun together," Trip broke in, with a hint of exasperation in his voice. "I oughtta keep you separated." He should have expected the reply he'd get from his lovers for that comment.

 

"That's not what you were saying last night."

***

The mess hall was set up for the weekly movie, and the crew had already begun to gather, chatting amongst themselves as they waited for the movie to begin. Trip stepped into the hall, pausing for effect as he scanned the room for open seats. He had to stifle a satisfied smirk as conversation died in the room. Jaws were dropping all around the room as people turned to stare at him and his companions.

Dressed in grey slacks and shirt, Trip had a Malcolm draped on either arm. They sported identical outfits of leather pants and turtleneck sweaters, save that one's clothing was white and the other's black. It had taken a great deal of cajoling to get them to agree to being dressed up like dolls in the matching outfits, but it was worth it. They were beautiful.

Trip had nearly been beside himself, having to wait for this moment until a movie was shown that the Malcolms would agree to watch. For some reason, whoever was in charge of picking what would be shown had gone on a four week vintage art film kick. Art films were not either Malcolm's cup of tea, and Trip had been forced to resort to a bit of bribery to have an *Indiana Jones* flick played.

 

The new Malcolm was settling into life on *Enterprise* quite happily. Archer hadn't entirely decided what to do with the man yet, but he had become something of an honorary member of the Armoury team. He helped the old Malcolm with new weapon designs, and pitched in on making repairs and adjustments to the phase canons and torpedo systems.

It was becoming harder to tell the two Reeds apart when the lieutenant wasn't in uniform. They were picking up one another's mannerisms at a disturbing rate, unmindful of the confusion being caused. In his own defence, Trip had "trained" them to answer to different names. His original Malcolm he called "Mal" at all times now. The new one was simply "Malcolm."

 

"Have you no shame, Commander?" Trip smiled at the sound of Hoshi's voice ringing through the room, and turned to greet the ensign.

"How'd you know this is my doing and not theirs?"

"You're kidding, right, Sir?" said Travis as he was dragged along by Hoshi. "Matching outfits? Black and white with you in grey? Leather pants? It was your idea alright. You guys look great, of course, but it does just scream `Trip Tucker's brainchild.'"

"Told you so," muttered the black clad Reed.

"One question," said Hoshi. "Which is which?"

Trip grinned broadly. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Trip, be nice to the woman," said the white clad Reed.

"But..."

"Trip, what does it matter? I fail to see the point in deliberately keeping anyone but you from being able to distinguish us," black clad Reed cut in.

"Oh, I understand," said Hoshi. "He's being selfish. This is his way of keeping the two of you for him and him alone tonight. Still, I'm betting that you," she pointed at black clad Reed, "are Lieutenant Reed, and that you," her finger switched to white clad Reed, "are just plain Malcolm."

Trip's face fell in a comical expression. "How'd you know?"

"They sound different. Granted, their speech patterns are growing more alike, but they still pronounce certain vowels a little differently."

"Linguists. Spoil all my fun."

"Naturally."

 

The movie started shortly thereafter, allowing Trip to settle down into the darkness with a lover on either side. Halfway through, Malcolm rested his head on Trip's shoulder. Mal was in his own little world, intent on the film, and Trip let his mind wander to the differences between the "identical" men.

Malcolm, he'd found, was more demonstrative in his affections than Mal. Trip wondered if it was an effect of having lost almost everyone he'd ever cared for, or just of different upbringing. From what he'd said of his family, the Stuart Reed of his universe had been a much more loving father than the one of this. Unfortunately, the man had been killed when Malcolm was quite young. It was the beginning of the steady erosion of the man's family.

Malcolm also seemed, in stark contrast to the way he presented himself, naturally mousy. Quite the opposite of Mal, who was truly somewhat shy, but had a stubborn aggressive streak that he kept locked away behind his model officer presentation. Malcolm was happiest in a lab, designing weapons. Mal wanted to go out and use the toys he'd designed.

Still, both were loving and intensely loyal, and he adored them. Choosing between them was not an option. They were both a part of his life, and he couldn't imagine it without them.

***

"Thank you," whispered Malcolm into the darkness.

"What for?" asked Trip sleepily.

"For this." He slid his hand across Trip's bare chest until it contacted Mal's face resting there. "It means a lot to me that the two of you were willing to take me in, to make me a part of you."

"Our pleasure," said Mal, reaching out his own hand to caress the other man's face as his was being caressed.

Trip pulled them in closer to him and kissed the top of either dark head. "I love you two. I'm about the luckiest man in the universe, havin' the both of you."

***

He was numb; couldn't move, couldn't think. He should have seen it coming, should have stopped him somehow.

He hadn't though. All he had done was to sit and stare in blank astonishment as Malcolm had kissed him and then gone running off toward the aliens who were shooting at them. It was only his other lover's incessant tugging at his uniform which had got him moving. A glance back over his shoulder had shown him Malcolm, being thrown back into the mud by the impact of alien weapon's fire.

He couldn't remember, but he thought he screamed. Everything was a blur from then until they were back on *Enterprise*, retrieving Malcolm's body with the transporter. He'd lost it again then, and Phlox had sedated him. It was only a few minutes ago that he'd awoken in sickbay, and had been allowed to return to his quarters, where he now sat in a despondent haze.

The door opened, letting Trip into his room. One look into the sad blue eyes of his lover and the numbness lifted, dissolving him into tears.

Trip crossed the tiny room quickly, gathering the dark haired man to him in a comforting embrace. "I know, honey, I know. I miss him too, Mal, but he gave his life for ours. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less. I should ... *could* have done something to get us all out, if only he'd given me the chance. But no, he had to go out in a blaze of self-sacrificial glory, and now... It's like part of me is missing. I've a hole in my heart and in my soul, and it *hurts*."

"Me too, darlin'. The other Malcolm... He was part of us, and I miss him somethin' dreadful. We've still got each other, though, and matchin' wounds. We'll help each other t' heal and go on. It's what he would have wanted us to do."

"I know, love. I know."

~the end~