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Reed's Armory -- A Malcolm Reed Fanfiction Archive .. |
Title: Alone
Author: Lucy
Author's e-mail: [email protected]
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairing: Archer/Reed
Rating: PG-13
Category: Slash
Series: Alone
Summary: Archer is watching Malcolm sleep.
Archived to Reed's Armory on 04/24/2004.
I've been lying awake for hours watching you sleep. I fear this might be the only chance I'm ever going to get and I don't want to miss a second. You're so peaceful, not the tangled ball of nerves you are during the day, especially around me.
It took me a long time to realise that it wasn't just because I'm your commanding officer. It took Trip to make me see. I guess he's always been able to see through me and now it would seem he's doing the same service for you as well. I'm jealous of the friendship that you and Trip share, knowing that that friendship might be something more, something deeper.
I feel I should want to dance around the room but that might mean I'd miss the ghost of a sigh or a smile. You smile a lot in your sleep, I hope it means you're dreaming about me. No, I take that back. What we had, what we shared was so special that I want to lock the moment into my memory and never forget it. I don't want to spoil it but I know I'm about to.
I can't stay, can't let you wake up and find me here in your bed. You were flattered by my interest, by my desire but tomorrow it'll be different. Tomorrow I will once more be your Captain, tomorrow you'll remember how I kissed you, how I left you with no choice but to capitulate and although I know that is what you wanted, tomorrow it will seem inappropriate.
I creep from the bed and you mumble but don't wake. I breathe out and start to collect up my clothing, dressing swiftly and silently. If you wake it would spoil this moment and I want to get away with as much dignity as possible.
"Goodbye Malcolm," I barely whisper the words and though I know I shouldn't I bend and kiss your lips, feeling pain ripping through me as I do so. My one hope is that you'll hold this memory as dear as I do. Please Malcolm don't forget me.
Outside in the corridor the air seems cooler. I'm still holding my uniform jacket and the flesh on my arms is covered with goosebumps. With a faint whoosh the door closes behind me, finally sealing you from my sight and turning to go back to my own lonely quarters I see Trip, blonde hair rumpled, eyes reddened and swollen, watching. There's nothing I can say to him, no way to ease the hurt inside both of us and so I leave and go back to my quarters, alone.
~the end~
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