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Reed's Armory -- A Malcolm Reed Fanfiction Archive .. |
Title: Sim
Author: Cori
Author's e-mail: [email protected]
Author's Web site: http://www.fanfiction.net/~tmz
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairing: Sim/Reed, Tucker/Reed
Rating: PG
Category: Slash
Summary: Malcolm and Sim in the last hours of Sim's life, and Trip's thoughts after the funeral.
Spoilers: Similitude
Comments: it had to get out of my system.
Archived to Reed's Armory on 04/24/2004.
Malcolm's POV
There he is. He looks like Trip--well he IS Trip, just not the real one. He is Sim and he will dying for Trip. I don't want him to die, but I want Trip back, too...
At first I wasn't sure, if I should even talk to him, now I know why. I am so confused. Trip is my friend. Actually the best friend I ever had, perhaps something more...
And well, there is Sim at the other hand. Kind of the innocent version of Trip. He knew he had to die for Trip. Archer had made it clear, that he will do EVERYTHING to get Trip back. I don't know if I could ever look into Archer's eyes again, but I have to agree with him. Trip is importent to Enterprise, to him and perhaps even more to me.
I see the look in Sim's face, he looks so vulnerable. I think he knows my inner uneasiness about this all. And I see his fear, his will to live. He doesn't want to die, because he has all the feelings and memories Trip has. He mourns about his loss, his sister and he wants his revenge, too. He want to live, want to be with all of us, like the few days he was here.
And there is only one thing I can do now: embrace him. I hear a few sobs and then he begins to cry and I can't help myself. My hand is wandering up to his face and I stroke his cheek, the other one strokes over his back, I try to calm him and myself. He looks up, eyes full of glistening tears. The next thing I know is that we kiss. The kisses aren't hungry or demanding. They are just tender and slow.
It is possibly wrong, because of my feelings for Trip. It is some kind of unfair to Sim, too, because I don't really want to kiss HIM, and I am sure he knows. Nonetheless it feels in a twisted way right.
One hour later our clothes are gone. We didn't have sex. We are just laying here in my bunk cuddling and kissing. I stroke over his hair, his cheeks and his hands are stroking over my stomach, my arms.
We don't speak, we don't need to.
I have to think about Trip. Should I tell him? It is so weird--perhaps even more weird to him. I don't think he will ever fully understand, why I had to kiss Sim. Best is I should never tell him, or anyone for that matter.
It is just between the two of us. Sim and me. And it calms me in some ways. I think I can better handle this lost, now...
Sim's POV
My hope is broken, I count the hours, the minutes until eternity, until death. I feel alone...
I go to Malcolm's quarters. He is one of my best friends. No, sorry, Trip's. I am not Trip. It is difficult to understand, but at the other hand, it is not. I have all his memories, all his feelings. It disturbes me a little. I have so many questions I want Trip to ask, but I never will be able to.
Oh Malcolm. You look just as sad as me and I wish I had more time on board. But you all want Trip back. I should be angry, but all I can say is that it hurts too much, to let the angry get over me.
And suddenly I feel arms around me. They belong to Malolm and I am grateful. I can't hold back my tears anymore and let the hurt wash over me. I begin to cry and Malcolm calms me. He stroke my back and my cheek. It feels so good. There's nothing more I can expect from him.
I look up, want to thank him, and then I see the warmness and understanding in his eyes. I have to kiss him, even if he rejects me. But he doesn't! It is my first kiss in my short life and I am gratefull that it happens with him.
I lost track of time and we are naked and laying in his bed now. I just need human nearness, I need his nearness. We kiss and caress each other for a long time. It helps me a little to accept my fate. Just a little. I don't count the minutes anymore. I am gratefull we had this short time together.
And then I have to go. forever.
Trip's POV
So I am back again. It is so weird. I saw myself lying there--dead--just a few minutes ago. But it wasn't me. It was my clone, what was his name? Yeah, Sim. He must have been a really good guy, because everyone is sad. I think I saw Malcolm hold back tears, but it could have been my imagination. I wonder what happened that few days, when I was "gone".
I don't know, how I can handle this. Sim was a human beeing, and he sacrificed his life for me. I am not sure if it was his own will. I will have to talk to Jon and the others, but I need a little time first.
I am grateful. So damn grateful, that I am back again. Well, I was never gone, if it was for me or my memories. Because the last thing I remember is a huge explosion and then I woke up in Sickbay with one hell of a headache!
I just hope everything is going back to normal soon! We need to go on. We need to find the Xindi!
~the end~