Summary: In Germany we have a saying "Der Lauscher an der Wand, hort seine eigne Schand." which means "when you eavesdrop on someone, you might hear things you don't want to know" but sometimes, sometimes you hear things which you long to hear.
Comments: After meeting Dominick at the FedCon, all my ENT muses came back in a hurry. They were sleeping on my doorstep, were looking over my shoulder every day, so finally I had to track down at least one of them. This story is for STORMY, my one and only. She keeps me up-to-date with ENT, and therefore alone she deserves this. No kink this time, hun, sorry. But lots of
love, kisses, sappiness, candlelight"etc. Enjoy. Oh, and the title was inspired by the Robbie-Williams-song "Something stupid". I listened to it one day and the line 'Saying something stupid like I love you.' refused to leave me alone. *bg*
Archived to Reed's Armory on 04/12/2008.
With a sigh of relief, Jonathan Archer closed the doors behind him and rested
for a few seconds there with his eyes closed. Finally on shore-leave.
A bark caused him to open his eyes again, and with a smile he gazed down at
Porthos, his beagle, who was standing in the middle of their room, his tail
waggling, his dark eyes shining.
"Hey, old buddy. Now we can relax for the next three days. We can go to the
beach for a walk, or we can go swimming. But right now, I just want to take my
book and read."Another bark, sounding like a consent. Jon smiled. He heard his book calling for
him, and he was willing to follow that call.
___________________________
"Ready, Mal?"
Malcolm Reed winced. He had long ago given up trying to tell Trip that he didn"t
like being called Mal. But he couldn't help himself, he started every time.
"Yes, Trip. We can go. Do you have a special place in mind?"
Trip came out of his bedroom, and Malcolm startled once more. The southerner was
once more wearing one of his really loud, almost screaming shirts with large
palm trees, brown hula-girls and exotic birds printed on it. Now his friend eyed
him sceptically.
"You sure, you wanna go like THAT?"
Malcolm glanced down at himself.
"Why? What's wrong with my outfit?"
He wore black jeans and a black shirt. A blue jacket hang loosely over his right
shoulder.
vNow Trip furrowed his brow, but only a few seconds later he laughed again, came
over and patted Malcolm"s back in a friendly gesture.
"It's okay. How about the 'Sunset Place'? It's located directly on the beach.
Maybe tonight we get lucky and can watch a beautiful sunset together with a
beautiful companion tomorrow morning."
Malcolm smiled but the smile faded. The only companion he wanted to have by his
side to watch a sunset was at this moment in his room reading, together with his
little dog. Malcolm sighed barely audible. He forced the smile back on his face,
gazing at his old friend.
"Sure, let's go. But no more basements with strangers, promised?"
Now Trip laughed even more. He held out his hand, "Promised."
___________________________
The 'Sunset Place' was something between a dance club and a cocktail bar. And
Malcolm liked it immediately. The music wasn't too loud apart from the dance
floor, and the cocktails were really good.
It took Trip about ten minutes to find a lovely girl, and again five minutes
later Malcolm found himself alone at his table.
He sat there for the next hours, listened to the music, went even to the dance
floor a few times, but he always returned to his table alone.
At around midnight, the waiter brought an exotic looking cocktail and placed it
in front of Malcolm. Surprised he looked up.
"I haven't ordered anything."
The waiter smiled, and gestured to another table not very far.
"It's from him. Cheers."
Malcolm followed the gesture and his gaze found a good looking young man with
dark blonde hair. He couldn't see the color of his eyes, but he realized that he
liked him spontaneously.
He moved his chair a little bit so that he faced the young man and raised his
glass. Smiling, the young man got up and came over to his desk. He reached for a
chair on Malcolm's table, and asked, "May I sit down?"
Malcolm nodded.
"Sure. My name is Malcolm."
He stretched out his right hand. The young man grabbed it, and shook it firmly.
"Rado."
"Nice to meet you. Are you from here?"
Rado nodded, and now Malcolm could see the color of his eyes. They were dark
brown, like a good, rich chocolate. And Malcolm saw some kind of longing in
those dark depths, a definite interest in him. And carefully, like someone who
hasn"t done it in a very long time, who might have almost forgotten how it
worked, he began to flirt with this nice man.
And realized that he enjoyed it. For one night he might be able to forget his
infatuation with one Captain Jonathan Archer, who was not only painfully
straight, but was also absolutely out of reach for him.
They talked for hours. Malcolm talked about his job aboard the Enterprise, and
Rado told him about his job in the Risan Technology Center.
After a while, Rado started to seek contact. It began with little touches, so
soft and quick one could easily think of them as accidentally.
But then Rado's hand remained on Malcolm's when he vividly talked about his
latest holiday. And half an hour later he asked Malcolm for a dance.
And Malcolm agreed.
He didn't know why. The music was soft and blandishing, and he found himself
enchanted by the whole atmosphere. He didn't resist when Rado pulled him closer,
sneaked his arms around his waist and without thinking Malcolm rested his face
on the other man's shoulder. It felt oh-so-good to be held like that, tenderly
pressed against a hard, strong body.
They danced song after song, for a very long time. And Malcolm felt himself
relax. He almost melted against the taller man, and they swayed to the music,
unaware of the other couples around them.
Unaware of Trip Tucker, who danced only a few metres away, a big smile on his
face.
When Rado bent down after a while to kiss him, it seemed to be the most natural
act to respond. The first kiss was soft, tender, questioning.
The next was a little bit more passionate.
And suddenly they drowned in each other, kissing, tasting, swaying together.
They broke apart, panting, and Rado rested his forehead against Malcolm's.
"Would you like to join me for a walk on the beach?" he breathed against
Malcolm's lips. Almost on his own accord, Malcolm nodded. With a brilliant
smile, Rado grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the club.
___________________________
It was a beautiful night. The sky was full of stars, and the two moons were
dancing like a smile on the night sky.
Jon raised his glass of red wine and took a sip, listening to the soft murmurs
of the waves which were caressing the shore. He looked out at the sea, enjoying
the soft breeze whispering over his bare skin.
Suddenly he could hear voices, soft murmuring, the light footfall of two people.
Jon moved back into the shadows so the couple wouldn't notice him.
First he only could hear the voices of two men and didn't recognize the meaning
of the words. But when the couple came closer, he could make out the words.
He didn't want to listen. Honestly.
But when the couple was standing under his balcony, they stopped. And now Jon
recognized one voice, and couldn't move away without being noticed, so he was
almost forced to listen.
___________________________
"Do you want to sit down a while?"
Malcolm gazed up at the lit balcony and frowned slightly.
"Here? In the light? Why?"
"I want to see your face."
Malcolm felt himself blush slightly, and said with a hint of his usual
stubbornness, "But they can hear us up there."
He saw Rado"s smile, who seemed to feel his uneasiness and took his hand.
"At this time of the night, most of the people are asleep. The often forget to
switch out the light on the balcony. Look up. There is nobody. See?"
Malcolm took a few steps back, and as Rado had said, he saw nobody. A little
relieved, he nodded and sat down next to Rado, who meanwhile had laid his jacket
on the sand.
They sat silently and without hesitation, Rado put his arm around Malcolm"s
shoulder and pulled him closer.
For a few minutes they sat there, watching the stars, listening to the waves.
Then...
"Who is it?"
Rado"s voice didn't sound hurt, only softly, matter-of-factly. Surprised,
Malcolm move back a little.
"What? What do you mean?"
Now Rado laughed a bit.
"Your body may be here with me, but your mind is miles away. And though I must
admit that this isn't very flattering for me, I would guess you're thinking of
someone else. Am I right?"
Silence.
"So I am right."
Malcolm scooted a littler closer into Rado's embrace and hid his face in the
crook of the taller man's neck.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled against the skin.
"Don't be," he murmured back equally soft. "We can't help who we love, can we?"
Malcolm nodded slightly. He felt Rado's arm encircle him, pulling him even
closer until the smaller man rested comfortably between Rado's legs, held
against a broad chest, hearing the other man's steady heartbeat. Sighing he
closed his eyes and enjoyed the physical nearness.
He had missed it more than he'd thought possible. Had almost craved it. And
although when there wouldn't be more with this extraordinary man, he could at
least enjoy his gentleness.
"You want to talk about him?"
The soft voice interrupted his thoughts and Malcolm simply nodded. And he began
to talk.
___________________________"You want to talk about him?"
Jon heard the soft spoken words, and found himself listening even more. Malcolm
in love... So why was there this sudden pain in his heart... This feeling of loss...
This deep longing to hear his own name from those tempting lips...
He shook his head slightly, the movement causing Porthos to look up and whine
silently. Who was he kidding? Maybe it was Hoshi. Or Trip. Or Hayes. Or... god, it
hurt. Hurt so badly.
He threw his head back and felt it collide with the wall behind him. The dull
pain brought back his rational thinking, and he smiled sadly about his own
stupidity.
Why should someone like Malcolm love someone like him? But whoever it was the
English man was in love with, he or she could consider himself or herself
extremely lucky.
But who was it? Very carefully he moved closer, for the voices had turned low.
And in a stupid act of self destruction, he wanted to know now...
___________________________Malcolm knew that it wasn't fair. He had this beautiful man sitting next to him,
and instead of pushing the thought of Jonathan Archer away for one night and
taking what this man was offering so generously with open hands, he sat there in
Rado's arms and began to talk.
Talk about another man.
"He is... are you sure you want to hear tha?"
Rado laughed and gave him a kiss on his temple.
"How often have you talked about him in the past?"
Malcolm sighed.
"Never."
"So do it now. Le's start with his name."
"His name's Jonathan. Jonathan Archer. And he is... well, he's my captain."
___________________________
For a second Jon's heart stood still. And he was severely tempted to jump over
to the edge of the balcony, and ask if he heard right.
"Your captain?"
Jon could hear the slight amusement in the other man's voice. And frowned. What
was so funny about it? The younger man was in love with his captain, so what?
"Yes, my captain."
Malcolm's voice sounded a little sad. For a few seconds Jon heard nothing and
his mind showed him pictures of Malcolm being kissed and comforted by the other
man.
He gritted his teeth.
"This must be hard for you."
The other man"s voice sounded sympathetic.
"It is. Very. Sometimes, when he comes down to me in the armory, I just want to
grab him, push him against the next wall and kiss him."
A mighty shiver run down Jon's spine. It was amazing how Malcolm"s fantasies
matched his own. Every time he came down to the armory, he had to clasp his
hands tightly behind his back, afraid he would do something inappropriate.
And now he'd just found out that whatever he would have done, would have been
welcome..."
"You never did?"
The other man again. And now he could clearly hear Malcolm's laughter.
"In my dreams? Yes, many times. In reality? Never. I like my job and want to
keep it. And sure as hell I don't want to risk it for one moment of insanity. He
is straight and he will never love me. Not the way I love him."
"You're wrong, Malcolm." Jon's mind shouted. "I DO love you. More than I ever
thought I could love someone. But I'm afraid. Afraid of hurting you, of loosing
you like I lost so many people I loved."
The two men on the beach were silent for a few seconds. Then Jon could hear the
deep, rumbling voice of the Risan again.
"Why did you come with me tonight? You know that I wanted to make love to you,
don't you? Still want to."
Involuntarily, Jonathan held his breath.
"I... I thought I could forget him for one night. Get him out of my system, I
believed. But I can't."
"We still could try, you know."
A strangled sound escaped Jonathan's throat, and quickly he put his hand over
his mouth.
"Did you hear that?"
Malcolm. For a few seconds none of them said something. Then...
"Maybe a little animal. We should go back."
"Rado, I... I want to sit a little longer. If you don't mind""
Now the man's voice again. To Jon's surprise he could only hear sympathy, no
hurt, no anger, only compassion.
"No, it's okay. I understand you. I hope for you that your captain one day will
open his eyes and will see what is there right in front of him."
"Thank you. Wait... your jacket."
"No, stay seated. Keep it as a souvenir. Think of me sometimes. You are an
amazing man, Malcolm. I could have easily fallen in love with you. But I respect
your feelings. Would you grant me one more kiss?"
Jon bit hard down on his knuckles to prevent himself from jumping up and beating
the shit out of the man who wanted to kiss HIS armory officer.
He couldn't hear Malcolm"s reply. For a long time there was silence, but his
mind showed him the pictures in Technicolor and with Dolby surround sound. Then
he heard the stranger again.
"Thank you, Malcolm. Perhaps we will meet again. For now I say good bye."
He heard the man walk away. And he knew that Malcolm was sitting underneath his
window.
Alone.
Not caring anymore if Malcolm could hear him or not, he jumped up, ran into his
apartment, grabbed his shirt and put it on-while on his way to the beach. If he
were lucky, Malcolm would still be there, staring out at the sea. And he could
walk up to him, as if by accident. He could sit down next to him and they could
talk.
vHe left the building in a hurry, oriented himself for a second, turned left and
headed for that part of the beach he could overlook from his balcony.
When he finally found it, he stopped, panting, but he only saw a soft impression
of where Malcolm had been sitting.
Malcolm himself was gone.
___________________________
Jon woke up the next morning with an ungodly headache. he had been lying awake
for the better part of the night, thinking about what he'd heard. Trying to find
a way to let Malcolm know how he felt for him. But whatever he came up with,
nothing seemed to be good enough.
He wanted to seduce him, wanted to let him know that he was loved and cherished.
And there was only one person who could help him now, only one he trusted enough
to tell him about last night. He quickly grabbed his communicator, and switched
it on.
"Archer to Tucker. Trip, you're there?"
___________________________
Malcolm woke up before the second sun rose. He heard Trip's even breathing, and
envied the other man his peaceful sleep. Trip had come home in the early hours
of the morning, humming lightly, wearing an almost stupid grin on his face,
smelling of perfume.
Malcolm had pretended to be asleep. The long talk he had had with Rado the night
before had left him deep in thought.
Rado had offered him one night of love without any strings attached. Even after
Malcolm had told him about his love for his captain, he had been willing to make
love to him.
But he had declined.
And now he wasn't so sure if that had been the right thing to do. Suddenly
Trip's communicator went off. Malcolm didn't move.
"Archer to Tucker. Trip, you're there?"
Groaning, Trip rolled over, grabbed his communicator and murmured still half
asleep, "I'm here, Cap"n. Whassup?"
A laughter was audible, and goosebumps appeared on Malcolm's skin.
"God, Trip, when did you go to bed?"
"Dunno... whatimesit?" Trip slurred.
"Almost eight. Trip, are you alone?"
Malcolm could hear the covers rustle slightly.
"Nope."
"He's awake?"
Malcolm forced his breathing to remain even, while he heard Trip's footfall as
he slowly and carefully came closer.
"Seems to be asleep." Now Trip whispered.
"I want to talk to you. Can you come over for breakfast?"
Malcolm heard Trip yawn heartily.
"Sure thing, Cap'n. Give me a little time for a shave and a shower and I'll be
over in thirty, okay?"
v"Okay. Archer out."
Trip padded into the adjoining bathroom, and Malcolm heard the shower go on. He
slowly released his breath. Why had Archer asked whether he was awake?
vHe turned around and watched the door to their bathroom. Maybe it was about some
woman Jonathan... no, the captain had met. Sighing deeply, he turned back to the
wall.
Maybe he should have accepted Rado's offer. He closed his eyes and ignored the
lonely tear running down his cheek.
___________________________
Trip yawned when he finally arrived at Jon's apartment. He would kill Jon if he
hadn't a serious reason to wake him so early. Or would hurt him... at least.
He rang and yawned again. God, three hours sleep simply wasn't enough for him.
He just wasn't twenty anymore.
The door opened with a verve and Trip stared into the bloodshot eyes of his old
friend and suddenly asked himself how much sleep his old friend had gotten.
But the enthusiasm he could see in Jon's eyes, made him think that whatever it
was, it sure as hell was enough. His friend was almost buzzing with energy.
"Hey, Trip. I need you."
Trip was pulled in and was enthusiastically greeted by Porthos. He bent down to
scratch the little dog behind his ears, but his eyes were glued to Jon, who was
standing before him, a big smile on his face.
"So, what is this all about? And why did you ask if Malcolm was awake""
"This is about Malcolm."
For a second Trip furrowed his brow, then an almost blinding smile threatened to
split his face in two.
"You finally fell for him. Goddammit... it's about time."
Trip stepped closer and pulled his friend in a bearhug. And felt his friend
reciprocate the hug.
"I fell for him a long time ago, Trip. And you know that. But now... now I know
that he harbors certain... feelings for me as well."
"That's great. And now?"
Now Jon's face fell slightly.
"Now I don't know what to do."
Trip sat down in one of the plushy chairs and rested his head against the
comfortable headrest.
"You need my advice?"
"Aaahh... more or less. I need to know what the two of you planned for tonight."
Now Trip lost track of Jon's thoughts.
"Huh? Why?"
Jon's smile got even bigger.
"Because I want to be there and kidnap him from there. Then I want to drag him
to my apartment and seduce him. And I want him to be so out of his mind with
love and passion that he can't even remember his own name."
Trip raised his hands in a defeating gesture.
"No, Jon, no! TMI!"
Then he laughed out loud. But quickly sobered again. "What am I doing here?"
"I only want to know what you plan for tonight. I want to know where you want to
go tonight. And if you maybe could go to the same place as yesterday."
Now Trip was surprised.
"To the "Sunset Place"? Sure, why not?"
Jon smiled a little, and Trip felt a shiver running down his spine. His old
friend was ready for the hunt... and if Malcolm was the prey... poor Malcolm...
___________________________
The day was easy, filled with sunbathing, visits to some local markets, and some
kind of beach volleyball. Trip and Malcolm spent the whole day together,
laughing, having fun and discussing the way they wanted to spend the night.
It didn't take Trip too long to convince Malcolm that they should go to the same
club as the night before. He had liked it there, and after a few minutes Malcolm
admitted that he had liked it there, too.
And when he thought back to the ending of the night, cuddling with Rado on the
beach, he decided that he had liked it really very much.
So they decided to meet at ten in the club. And Malcolm went off to rest a
little.
___________________________
Jon took one step back and eyed his preparations with some pride. There were
candles spread all over the room, next to the bed stood a champagne cooler and
two glasses, a soft fragrance hung in the air, and on the bed were black silk
covers. He imagined Malcolm laying on the soft, dark material and felt himself
grew hard almost immediately.
He moaned softly. If the mere image could do such things to his body, what would
the real Malcolm be able to do?
He willed his body down, then he cast a quick glance at his watch. Yep, he had
more than enough time to get a shower and make himself presentable. Then he
looked down at his trousers, and sighed.
Okay, and enough time to take some of his 'pressure' away.
___________________________
The music was a little louder this time, but Malcolm enjoyed it anyway. The
crowd was pulsating, and the rhythm seemed to go straight to his blood. He was
nursing his second drink when he felt a light tap on his shoulder.
He turned round, and saw a hand in an inviting gesture. His eyes gazed up at the
arm, over the shoulder and came to rest on Jonathan Archer's face.
"Want to dance?"
Malcolm swallowed. And swallowed again. And after a few seconds of silence he
found himself able to nod.
Dance.
Sure.
Why not? The music was loud with a hard rhythm... no problem. He just had to make
sure his legs would stay steady. Right now they were like jell-o.
Jonathan Archer's hand was still lingering in front of his eyes, and slowly
Malcolm reached out and touched it, laying his own hand into the other man's.
The warm hand closed around his, and pulled him suddenly up. With an undignified
yelp, Malcolm practically fell into the arms of his captain.
___________________________
Jonathan had done this on purpose, he had to admit to himself. He felt the
strong, lean body of Malcolm in his arms, their joined hands trapped between
their bodies, and almost of its own accord his other arm sneaked around
Malcolm's waist, pulling him even closer. So close he could feel the other man's
breath on his skin. And with his eyes closed he inhaled deeply, trying to
memorize this moment.
Suddenly he noticed, that Malcolm didn't move in his arms. He didn't try to get
away. He just stood there, silently, stiff as usual.
With a little sigh he released the other man from his arms.
"Let's go to the dance floor, okay?"
Malcolm only nodded.
The music still had a hard rhythm, so there was no excuse to pull Malcolm close
again, but perhaps the music would change. Trip had told Jon that Malcolm
apparently had enjoyed dancing close to the other man the night before.
But right now, being here with him, having him always somewhere within his
reach, was enough. For the beginning.
After two more songs the music finally changed to something softer. Looking
around, Jon saw that couples were getting together around him. Regardless of
gender people were moving closer, sliding arms around each other. And it seemed
the most natural act to reach out for Malcolm and...
... find him gone.
No, not gone. Just a few metres away, laying in the arms of another man who held
him tight and swayed with him to the sound of the music. For a few heartbeats
Jon simply stood there, his mouth open in shock when he suddenly felt a hand
under his chin, gently closing his mouth.
"You just wanna stand there, gaping at him? Or you wanna do something?"
Jon startled and turned around. Trip was standing behind him, in his arms a
giggling young woman with very big... qualities. Now Trip gestured to Malcolm.
"Go! Pull him away. He's yours. And you know that. Take him, or he might be lost
forever. I know that guy. It's the same one he danced with yesterday. The same
one he disappeared with."
Jon gazed back at Malcolm. He seemed relaxed, almost happy. But he was supposed
to wear this expression when he was lying in Jon's arms, not in the arms of some
other man. So he literally pushed up his sleeves, and walked over to the dancing
couple.
___________________________
"He is coming over." Rado whispered in Malcolm's ear.
"He is?" Malcolm's voice sounded dreamy. To find Rado here again had been a
surprise for him. And when the music changed to something softer, he moved to
Rado without a second thought. He didn't dare to look over at Jon, for maybe he
was dancing with a young woman. But after a few seconds, he heard Rado whisper
in his ear that Jon was watching him intently. And that he was pushing his way
through the crowd to the place where Malcolm lay in his arms. Now a soft
laughter rumbled through Rado.
"Oh yes. And according to his face.. he doesn't like the way we're dancing."
The next second, Malcolm felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from
Rado, turning him around. But the green eyes of his captain weren't looking at
him but directly at Rado.
"Excuse me. But I guess this dance's mine."
Rado cast Jonathan a blinding smile.
"You must be Jonathan."
Malcolm could see the frown on his captain's forehead as Rado took his hand and
shook it amiably.
"I'm Rado. Malcolm has told me a lot about you. And..." he turned around to face
Malcolm, "you were right. He really looks gorgeous. I can see why you love him."
Malcolm felt his knees go weak. Never, ever had he said something like that.
Then he saw the Risan wink at him, and his smile told him, "Trust me."
So he only shrugged and looked down at his feet.
"Do you want to dance with me, Jonathan?"
Now Malcolm's head shot up and he eyed Rado with suspicion. And he saw Jonathan
speechless. For the first time his captain seemed to be at a loss for words. And
some weird kind of possessiveness took hold of him.
He gave Rado a slap on his shoulder, pushed him aside and turned to his captain.
"You asked me for a dance. Still willing?"
Jon's big smile was answer enough. Within a heartbeat he found himself in
Jonathan's arms, pressed up tightly against his broad chest.
Somewhere in his analytic mind some brain cells screamed in protest, ordered him
to let go of this man immediately and run as fast and as quickly as he could.
But there was another part of his brain. It told the analytical mind to shut the
hell up, kicked every single brain cell out and told Malcolm to grab this
chance. Or better... grab this man, hold him tight and make hot love to him. And
with him.
Malcolm smiled as he obeyed this other part. Without thinking too much, he
pulled Jon even closer, rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes.
Giving himself over to his feelings. For the first time.
And he was happy.
___________________________
They danced song after song, enjoying the presence of each other. Then the music
changed again to something heavier, and Jon hesitated to let go of Malcolm. A
feeling of deep joy was in his stomach as he sensed the same hesitation in the
other man.
This feeling remained as they walked hand in hand back to their table. They sat
down, and still Malcolm refused to let go of Jon's hand for which Jon was very
grateful, because this little gesture showed everyone in this club that they
belonged together.
But he wanted to be alone with Malcolm, so after a few minutes he leaned over
and shouted,
"Want to dance once more? Or do you want to change the location?"
Malcolm shouted back, "Change the location would be fine, sir."
Jon winced heavily when the heard the familiar and oh-so-hated "sir" from
Malcolm. Malcolm noticed it, and moved closer once more.
"Sorry... Jon. Force of habit."
Now Jon smiled again, and stood up, pulling the smaller man with him. On his way
out, he saw Trip dancing close with the giggling woman, both unaware that the
music had changed. They were still swaying gently. Suddenly the southerner
seemed to feel his friend's gaze and looked up. He took in the scene before him
and smiled so wide that his face threatened to split in two. He gave Jon a
thumbs-up and then his attention moved back to the girl in his arms. Jon shook
his head, still smiling and then he left the club, pulling Malcolm with him.
___________________________
The silence outside the club was almost deafening, and Malcolm shook his head
shortly to make sure he still could hear properly. Just now he realized that Jon
was still holding his hand. And even more... he pulled him closer until he could
put his arm around his shoulder.
It felt so good. Pushing aside every thought of tomorrow and what might be, he
sneaked his own arm around the taller man's waist, resting his head on his
shoulder.
They walked like that in silence. Slowly, listening to the sound of the waves
crashing on the beach. Neither of them dared to say anything, afraid to ruin the
magic of the moment. When curiosity finally got the better of Malcolm, he almost
whispered, "Where are we going?"
"I know a quiet place where we can... talk."
Talk.
Talking wasn't number one on his priority list right now. To be honest, talking
didn't even make it in his Top Ten. But if Jon wanted to talk, they would talk.
He didn't care where they were going until he found himself in front of Jon's
apartment door. And he looked up at Jon./
___________________________
"This... ah... this is the quiet place."
With these words, Jon pushed the door open and led Malcolm inside.
Malcolm stared in silence at the scene before him. Candles were lit all around,
a soft breeze was coming through the open balcony door, and Jon hurried over to
a board and switched on some music. Soft swing was floating through the air, and
with a smile on his face Jon turned to Malcolm again.
"Would you like to dance?"
Malcolm's feet seemed to move on their own accord, as he moved into Jon's arms.
Jon closed his arms around his beloved English man, and enjoyed the feeling of
Malcolm so close. They swayed to the soft music, and after a few minutes Malcolm
moved his head a little so that Jon could feel his breath on his skin.
He was in heaven.
Song after song went by, and the two men got closer and closer. Jon felt the
warmth of Malcolm's body, the play of the muscles under his shirt where his
hands rested, and the softness of his hair where it touched his face.
And suddenly all thoughts of why and what and if it was appropriate left Jon's
mind. He pulled back a little and gazed down at Malcolm. He had his eyes closed
and seemed to be perfectly content with the way things were.
But Jon wanted more. No, not more... he wanted it all. He had thought about it last
night. And this morning. And the whole day through. Had heard the voice of the
armory officer in his head, the gentleness in his voice when he had told Rado
the name of the man he was thinking about. The name of the man he was in love
with.
His name.
Tenderly, he laid one finger under Malcolm"s chin and lifted his head slightly.
Those amazing eyes opened, gazing up at him with incredible trust in them.
Slowly, to give him time to move away if he wanted to, Jon closed the gap
between them and when he was almost a breath away, he whispered, "You still can
say no," and then he felt deep desperation clutch his heart when Malcolm
whispered, equally as soft,
"No."
___________________________
"You still can say no."
A soft breath against his lips. No? All he ever dreamed about was just within
his reach, the man he loved offered himself on a silver plate, and he should say
no? Never.
"No," he murmured, and was startled when he saw the sudden sadness in Jon"s
eyes. And then he noticed his mistake. You still can say no. And he had said no.
Before Jon could draw away, Malcolm put his hand around Jon's neck, pulled him
close again, and kissed him.
His lips were as soft as he dreamed they would be. But when he felt no response
to his kiss, he moved back, gazing at Jon with obvious irritation.
"You said no," Jon whispered. And Malcolm smiled tenderly.
"I would never say "no" to you. Never. That's what I meant. I love you, Jon.
Love you so much."
Jon dove in and kissed Malcolm for all he was worth. Lights exploded behind
Malcolm's eyes when he felt Jon's tongue search for entrance and with a deep
sigh he opened his mouth, welcomed the tongue inside, and lost himself in that
kiss.
Suddenly, Jon tore himself away. He rested his forehead against Malcolm's.
"I know that it's not appropriate, Malcolm, but I can't wait any longer. I love
you so much. And I don't want to lose you. I know that I should wait until you
make the first step, but..."
A finger on his lips silenced him. He looked deeply into the blue-gray eyes of
the man in front of him.
Malcolm's eyes were sparkling with humor as he whispered, "I won't tell anyone."
___________________________
They made love that night.
And it was just as wonderful and magical as Jon ever thought it would be.
Loving, passionate, hot, steamy.
Panting and satiated, he lay beneath Malcolm, feeling the welcomed weight of the
other man on his back, the ragged breath on his skin, the frantic heartbeat. And
the soft lips, that rained little kisses on every inch of skin they could reach.
"Am I too heavy"" Malcolm murmured between two kisses, and Jon only shook his
head.
"No," he breathed, "You're perfect. Just perfect."
"I never thought it could be like this." Malcolm"s voice sounded a little
surprised, but very, very satisfied.
Jon laughed quietly. The enthusiasm of the younger man had been contagious, and
he knew he would feel every single muscle tomorrow, but what the heck... his
wildest dreams had come true in that night, and who was he to complain about a
little stiffness in the next morning.
He felt Malcolm move away, and he gasped slightly when he felt him pull out of
his body.
"Did I hurt you?" Malcolm"s voice sounded worried, but Jon only smiled and
propped himself up on one elbow to gaze down at his lover.
"No, you didn't."
Malcolm's fair skin on the black sheets surpassed everything Jonathan could have
imagined. The contrast was enchanting. Once he had undressed Malcolm and had
laid him down on the silken sheets, he"d begun to count Vulcan ambassadors.
NAKED Vulcan ambassadors, to cool down a bit or else he would have come right on
the spot.
Softly he pressed a kiss on Malcolm"s shoulder.
Malcolm's body was a revelation, and for a few seconds he just sat there and
gazed down at his lover.
"You're gorgeous, Malcolm."
"I'm not," his lover snorted slightly.
Another kiss.
"I don't want to argue with you, Malcolm. You are. And that's an order."
Jon repeated the words he had said to him months ago in the shuttlebay, when
they had managed to escape the exploding mine and had been arguing if it had
been ten or twenty seconds. The thought of losing Malcolm just because some
weird, territorial race like the Romulans had to spread mines around their
planets had haunted him some nights after that. And it had been that incident
which had caused him finally to open his eyes and admit to himself what he felt
for the English man.
Now Malcolm opened his mouth as if to say something, then he closed it again.
Half a smile appeared on his face, tugging only a little on the corner of his
mouth. He bent over and kissed Jon lightly.
"Aye, captain. Permission to snuggle through the night."
Jon laughed out loud, opened his arms and pulled Malcolm close again.
"Permission granted. Now sleep, Malcolm. We still have one day left from our
shore leave and I intend to spend it in bed with you tomorrow."
He felt Malcolm's yawn on his shoulder, and heard his mumble, "Good that our
plans go so well together, love."
Jon"s heart swelled with love when he heard the whispered words. He pulled the
covers over both of them and closed his eyes.
.