Money�s Short
Times are Hard
Here�s your Fucking
Christmas Card

T�was the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse

Mom at the Whorehouse
And Dad smoking grass
I�d just settled down
For a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn
I heard such a Clatter
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter

When out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
I must be saint nick

He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
The Fucker had fell

He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother the Queer

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous Fart
The son of a bitch
Blew the Chimney apart

He swore and he Cursed
As he rode out of sight
Piss on you all
And have a hell of a night