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A jerk roused me to wakefulness blue eyes going wide as i looked around. The slave that had awaken me shook her head albeit a bit angry and settled back into her slumber. My hands stole over the chill upon me as i gazed out to the starry night. The dream had come again and from the way my body shook and the fresh sheen of tears upon my cheeks i knew that it was just as intense as the first time i had dreamt of it.

Long were the nights when chained to a log unable to nestle into the crook of a Jarl’s arm, to breathe in the masculine scent, to feel the stir, the shudder, or to hear the uneven breath at the touch of skilled hands upon them. i heaved a long sigh and looked around the main hall. Emptiness stretched out before me, the tables and benches now barren. The sounds of the wind making me shiver anew as i gaze at the fire it’s flames flickering, casting dancing shadows upon the wall. i started to stand only to hear the clink of the chain, reminding me i could not move until one of the Free arose and freed the shackle for me to set about doing my duties once more.

i ached for something to do, busy work to occupy my mind and to ease the melancholy that weighed upon my soul. Once upon a time my duties didn’t seem like duties at all. my very heart and soul revolved around pleasing the Free.. but as of late i had begun to feel as if my heart was broken, shattered into a million pieces and my mind was at war with my soul. Telling myself i am but chattel, i haven’t the right to wish or want, ache or dream for anything more than i am given. But my soul tells me there is more. i know there is more. i once felt on top of the world… things were so different, so full of hope and promise then…

Well perhaps i should begin where all stories do..at a place and time where i knew exactly what was going on.. where my heart lay.. i don’t recall how i ended up in this somewhat strange place only that one day i was here and after observing, carefully keeping to the background of things i began to feel a yearning deep within my soul. It was something strange and new, something overpowering in it’s intensity, overwhelming.. i had found my place in this strange land. In this new world i suddenly felt as if i had come home.

That was some seven or so Earthen years ago.. i began to visit the slaves of a Home, carefully keeping to the shadows for awhile, visiting only when it seemed the Free were not about. i made friends and felt a bond grow, a sort of sisterhood between us all. Soon i begged collar of this place known as Silk and Steel to travelers. One Free took an interest in me and took me under His wing, i thrived with His guidance eager to soak up knowledge, to learn and to grow, to make Him proud.. alas business took Him away and after that the Home seemed to flounder, and soon disappear.

i wandered aimlessly for awhile, feeling despair at having lost what had become dear and Home. My travels then found me upon the doorstep to a Home where i grew even more. The Master there gave me the name of lita. i became quite fond of the Master of the Home and learned much within it’s walls. i even lost my heart to one of the travelers who frequented. He was a good friend to the Master of the Home. i begged His collar and was then taken away to the wilds of Torvaldsland. Those were perhaps the best and worst times of my life. Best and worst you say? i know it is very confusing.. yet i can explain..

Torvaldsland was a very new and different place for me.. despite it’s very different climate the ways were different. i was no stranger to work, yet i feel this is where i truly learned to work and in belonging to the Jarl everything i did came straight from the heart.. i ached to please Him, for just one look, one smile even a hint that He was watching set my soul afire, gave my heart wings.. everything i was.. everything i did, reflected upon Him and i poured my heart and soul into making Him proud.. and i thought i succeeded… for a time it seemed i was, those were the best days.. i lived for a look, a word.. a touch…any of these, even the slightest bit of knowing i was pleasing allowed me to thrive…

But.. i suppose nothing in life is forever except for death, when it comes.. no matter how hard i tried it seemed i was lacking something, atleast in my eyes.. less and less of what i did went noticed and i do know being noticed shouldn’t be expected.. and i didn’t expect it.. but it does impact the person, how can it not? Well i suppose that laid the groundwork for the next series of events in my life.. i was released and then began to wander Gor anew..

My path though varied took me to places with bright and shining faces. i shall always remember my visits to High Plains, i always felt welcome there and to Little Knife Band where i met Kashna Jazire, i ended up asking to join Her Home, i felt at Home there and made friends with some of the girls.. i was renamed inaji which means "new beginning" it was thought fitting for me.. i was happy there and settling in, when consequences sent me to a new Chief and Sun Sleen Lance along with the other girls of the Home.. i rarely saw the Chief and soon He ended up releasing all of the girls as He had other business to attend..

Once again i began to roam and ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time as I was captured and made a Home slave to Snake River Camp. i never felt i belonged there, try though i did, i felt as if my best was never good enough and i suppose it wasn’t as i was sold then to Mistress Shay of Paradise Cove.. my name was changed to tala and after being there awhile i adapted to life on the seas and the many adventures that came my way, it was a fun time, one i will always remember.. i was eventually given to her FC and He renamed me medow.. one night though, while sailing the seas, the ship was overtaken and i was captured by Master Migan of Healing Wolf Clan.

Life at Healing Wolf Clan was much as it was in Little Knife Band. i settled in fairly well and learned the ways of the Home and yes i did grow quite fond of my Master, my Master renamed me akasha and life went well at HWC for awhile. Soon though, i was sold… to Master Odeth of Alar, that was both scary and exciting, for i had known Jarl Odeth for a long while and been fond of Him for just as long. i believe Master Migan knew this and actually had my welfare in mind making this transaction.

Time with Master Odeth now seems as if it was so short.. but i do have wonderful memories of watching Him work, the care He put into each of His creations had me in awe. He truly was an inspiration to me and i miss Him terribly.. i’m just hoping wherever He is, that He is happy and perhaps His mind strays to me, even if for a flicker in thought now and then, for a time i belonged to Him and was of Alar.. the Alar had always intrigued me and scared me.. i’m not sure why; but A/all made me feel at Home there and i settled in and was happy.. then my Master disappeared.. and sadly i still have no word from Him… the Alar fell… and i was given to Jarl Perrin since my Master was nowhere to be found.. so that brings me to present times where i’m trying once again to find my way, now at Red Tarn’s Landfall..