1. A freak show is an exhibition of rarities, "freaks of nature" — such as unusually tall or short humans, and people with both male and female secondary sexual characteristics — and performances that are expected to be shocking to the viewers. Heavily tattooed or pierced people have sometimes been seen in freak shows, as have fire-eating and sword-swallowing acts.
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2. A display of people or animals with unusual or grotesque physical features, as at a circus or carnival sideshow.
Signs: A freak show indeed. I mean, am I the only normal, somewhat sane one around here?
*The camera zoomed out a bit to show Jason standing in front of a red curtain. On the curtain are the words, "Welcome to the freak show! Where freaks are shown!"
Signs: This week I face three different opponents. And when I say different, I mean it. One of the men happens to be Chris Warren. Clown of clowns, freaks of freaks and one crazy, retarded son of a bitch. A former Anarchy champion who decided to make his return at a very, very bad time. You see Chris, your nothing, but a fat overweight doink the clown reject who thinks he can beat his opponents with mind games and scary little face paint. You dont scare me pal, never have, never will and after I beat you, you can go ask Bionic Trooper to re-paint your face with his toes because I know you'd just love that fatboy.
*Signs smirks at the camera before he continues.*
Signs: Warren, you might of ruled the Anarchy division at one point, but that time period was when The Anarchist himself wasn't around. Then you crack me in the skull with a barb wired bat, not to mention right after the king of midgets hit me with a low blow from behind.
*Signs runs his hand over the bandage that covers the wound on his forehead and smiles evily.*
Signs: Second man. J.Stiles. Former gorilla turned human. Wouldn't be surprised if he pulls a seven foot banana out of his ass and knocks me out cold with it. I mean seriously, when Don Imus said nappy headed hoes, he really meant people like J.Stiles. He got a shot at me and what happened? He lost, just like every last one of my six opponents. Running your mouth might be cool for hyping up a match, but it obviously didn't get you anywhere in the squared circle. Go roll around in a field with Sasquatch or something, it'll sure feel more like home.
*The lights behind Signs flicker as the night get later and darker.*
Signs: And last of all. The last guy...I mean half a guy. Damn, I keep doing that. The king of midgets, president of Little People of America, Pyro. Should be an easy task eliminating him. Hopefully the lights wont randomly go out at Saint Valentine's Day Massacre and then come back on to show the Midget Coalition in the ring and ready to leg hump. The same man who had to low blow me just to get the advantage so he could sign the contract. I mean, isn't that like, illegal or something? But I'll let it go. I've beat you once and I'll damn sure beat you again.
*The lights flicker once again making the spooky scene even scarier.*
Signs: Pyro..Stiles..you both have one thing in common and that is that you've been put to the test and failed. Warren..this week you'll be put to the same test..and if all goes like it should..you my friend, will too join the land of the defeated.
*With that said Signs raises the curtain and tells the UWF crew to follow. They walk a dark hallway where different pictures of "freaks" hang. A creepy song is heard similar to doink the clown's theme song. Some that are seen are..*
The two headed calf.
Lobster girl.
The peg leg midget.
The 8 foot freak, Frank.
The famous bearded lady and many more.
*Signs stops at an encurtained cage and faces the camera*
Signs: Exhibit A.
*The curtain comes off revealing a gorilla going wild. He bounces about the cage and snacks on a banana now and then. Nearby a picture and stats can be found posted.*
Height:6'6"
Weight: 337 lbs.
Specialty: Banana bomb/Gorilla drop
Other notes: Will kill for bananas. In search of a brush/comb/anything to make look more human like.
Signs: Lets move on before this thing finds a way out of that cage and proceeds to rape us..or whatever they do.
*Signs proceeds down the spooky hallway and stops at yet another encurtained cage. The curtain rises to reveal an empty cage.*
Height: 1'2"
Weight: 22 lbs.
Specialty: Leg hump/Shin shimmy
Other notes: Too short to ride the Batman at Six Flags/Can't be seen with the naked eye.
*Signs finishing read the last line.*
Signs: Hence the reason why this telescope is positioned here, but I won't waste your time so lets move on.
*Signs continues down the hallway and takes a left turn. A clown is standing there with white and black face paint. Signs is frightened and reacts with a devastating superkick knocking the clown and the balls he was juggling back.*
Signs: Tell you what..that wasn't planned...but the same result will happen to the clown freak known as Chris Warren this week if he gets in my way, as well as those other two morons. It's in the signs!
*Signs spits on the clown before heading to the curtain labeled "Exit here" as the scene fades to black.*
