*The scene opens inside the empty Key Arena, the very same arena Jason Signs will demolish The King of Midgets himself. A song similar to King Booker's theme is heard throughout the arena. Just then from behind the curtain a group of midgets walk out, holding a throne like chair above their heads. In the chair sits Jason Signs. He demands the midgets to walk faster as he has only a certain amount of time to cut his promo.*
Jason Signs: Hurry the hell up, you peasants!
*They proceed to carry him down the ramp and reach the ring.*
Jason Signs: Now lower me slowly. You drop me, I drop my fist on all your tiny heads!
*The midgets proceed to lower Signs to the ground. Jason gets out of the chair and gets into the ring, where a mic awaits him on the mat. He picks it up and proceeds to talk.*
Jason Signs: Pyro one more day remains before I, Jason Signs, hand you another L to put in your well stacked loss collumn. You see, you might be out to prove something, but the only thing your going to prove this Wreckage, is why I am the ruler of all midgets, as well as the anarchy division.
*Signs smirks and continues to speak.*
Jason Signs: I mean honestly, you don't even belong in the same ring as me. Hell, you can't even finish a happy meal, let alone beat me bad enough to where I can't defend myself. But tell you what, man. I do have feelings, I honestly do. I'm giving you a chance to back out of the match right now because for you, climbing a ladder is the equivalance of climbing a mountain. So what's it gonna be Pyro? I'll give you a chance to pull out, all you have to do is come out to this ring.
*Nothing happens..not a single noise is heard until Signs rips one.*
Jason Signs: Sorry about that guys. Damn midgets must of put something in my burrito I ate earlier. Now that I think of it, today the Little People of America have a conference, and as we all now Pyro is the President of LPA, therefore he's probably not here yet...Pyro you don't wanna come to me? I'll come to you then, short stack.
*With that the scene fades and moments later re-opens. Signs is standing outside of a building that has a banner in front of it. The banners reads..*
Little People of America (LPA) is a nonprofit organization that provides support and information to people of short stature and their families. Here you will find resources pertaining to dwarfism and LPA, medical information, and instructions on how to join our discussion groups. Enter, learn, and enjoy!
Jason Signs: Damn, that last line sounds like a bad porn title.
*Signs approaches the building door and enters. Miniature furniture is layed out about the room, such as little chairs, tables, and even a couch. A meeting is currently taking place as Signs interrupts with a shout. *
Jason Signs: Okay....where is he? Where's Pyro?! Hurry up and tell me before I bust all your heads open, then you'll all need mini bandaids for your little mini heads that hold your mini brains.
Midget 1: He's not in. I'm Dick, the VP of LPA, how may I help you?
*Signs walks over to Dick and whispers to him..*
Jason Signs: Listen here, little Dick..I mean mini Dick....I mean, whatever your name is...you tell me where Pyro is right now before I bend all these bitches over and hit their growth spurts for them, with my dick.
Dick: Look, there's no need for that. Pyro's not in right now, but you can gladly take a seat if you'd like.
Jason Signs: Take a seat? I know you've got a smaller brain and all, but I didn't know you were retarded...I think I'll stand.
*Signs backs up and positions himself behind the group as the meeting continues. In this particular section of the meeting, new tools are being introducuced to the group of dwarfs. Tools such as....*
The Bottom Wiper 3000 - Wrap the toilet paper around the tip and wipe away!
The Nail Clipper - Custom version of the average nail clipper, designed to be hassle free! Comes in three different colors!
The Shirt Buttoner - Self explanatory! Comes with two different grips to fit your preference!
And
The Booster Seat - Wake up knowing you can eat your mini Wheaties without a problem!
*The conference ends as the midgets conversate with each other. A little lady walks over to Signs and asks him a question.*
Midget 2: Hi, I'm Ember, and I think your hot!
Jason Signs: Well thanks..
Ember: You ever gotten a blowjob by a standing woman?
Jason Signs: Well uh..not really, but I have been on tour lately, and I could use some..
*With that the scene fades..........only to re-open one last final time. The setting is now inside a hotel room. Signs lays on the bed tired and out of breath, with a cigarette in his mouth. He wears nothing except the Anarchy title around his waist, covering his crotch. He lights the cigarette as he fixes his hair and smiles at the camera. He kicks Ember off his bed as the scene fades to black.*
