Once upon a time, not so long ago, lived a girl who had always been a bit of a clutz. Her friends called her 'Grace'. Unlike some cultures, Grace lived in a society in which both boys and girls had to go through the ancient customs of �coming-of-age�. No two people ever experienced the same exact rituals, but it usually came down to consuming as much Barley Stew, potato-soup, aged fruit nectars, and strained and liquefied molasses products, as possible in one rotation of the earth about its axis. Such a large consumption of such items leads to disorganization of thought, and can make those who are usually �graceful� even more so. (Hello? You understanding this it�s beer, vodka, wine, rum, respectively).
Grace had finally reached the age at which initiation occurs, two and 1/10 decades. Her closest friends cared about her deeply, and took upon themselves to give the rites themselves. Grace�s father, being a wise and well-traveled man even gave her some advice, �Drunk and sober three times in 24 hrs�. So as the witching hour arrived on her birthing day, Grace�s friends took her to the places of passage, along the prime channel of late night community travel. The first �meal� of the night was one enchantingly titled �DOA� at the Tavern of the Crystal. The first meal is always the most imaginative. The DOA was made by Jim, Jack, and Jose, who used such ingredients as cream of mint, tobascco, and then Bailey gave some �meat� to it. Many meals followed this in the next few fingers of time, and of course Grace was able to consume large quantities of Barley Stew once the Tavern lights had faded for the night. The next morning Grace broke her fast with more barley stew (as all champions do) and continued consuming it for the larger part of Helios� trip across the sky. That evening she supped on shellfish and pasta washed down with grape �juice�, and afterwards began her third round of liquid consumption. From tavern to tavern she ventured for most of the night, consuming all that her loving friends thought best to bring her, and at the end of the evening she and her closest friend took their leave of the other participants and began the walk back to their chariot. Grace, even more graceful than usual and absolutely stunning in her current state, and her friend had to walk past a pet store on the way to their chariot. The pet stores name was Miss Kitty�s. Grace, wanting to see the mysterious animals inside, tried to go into the pet store, but her friend, thinking her exhausted, insisted that they pass it by that evening and venture on, leaving the visit for another day. Grace, not feeling her �exhaustion� tried to go in anyway (quite persistent really) and decided without knowing why to kiss the curb of the road. She was slightly more exuberant than necessary and found the stone to be rather forceful in it�s own lust for a kiss, and its passion was a bit rough for the girl. Moral of the story: Stay away from pet stores when experiencing rights-of-passage, or you to will awake with five stitches in your lip, a broken nose, concussion, and road-kill like features the morning after, and upon waking, find your friends chariot in a state that looked as if he had been poaching deer the night before.
