The problems with cute little hamsters is that they tend to make cute little messes and the messes make a not so cute smell. The girls mother, trying to instill a sense of responsibility in the child (what went wrong there?...), insisted that the little girl be the one to clean up the messes.
So one bright summer day the little girl took BS's House outside to clean it. (BS's house was a ten gallon glass tank). After cleaning it with a hose (and getting herself, the car, and the house windows sopping wet) the little girl decided that the fastest way for it to dry would be to turn it upside down (on the wet grass) and let it drip dry, just like in the kitchen. (The little girl obviously didn't know anything about condensation).
Dividing the little girls yard from the neighbors yard was a hedge, and on that long ago summer day the little girl heard voices on the otherside. She was of course very curious about those voices. She was only a little girl however and therefore much too short to see over the irksome bush. Looking around for something to stand on, she realized that the upside-down hamster-house looked exactly like the stool her mommy used in the house. Pleased with her stroke of brilliance the girl went over to the glass tank and stood on top of it. Bummer. She still couldn't quite see over the tops of those dumb bushes. So now what? 'Why,' she realized suddenly, 'If I jump up and down on top of this little house I might be able to just be able to see who those voices belong to!'. So the little girl started jumping up and down on that little glass house and before she could get to her third jump, CRASH!
The little girl looked down in bewilderment. She wasn't in the air. In fact she wasn't even on top of the little house anymore. She was standing in the middle of it, and pieces of it were sticking in the middle of her, well her legs at least. She didn't cry because she didn't hurt, but she reckoned, it she tried to get out with those shards of glass still sticking in her legs, it might hurt. So she screwed up her face and punched at the glass until it came out of her legs and then timidly stepped out of the wreckage of the house and walked up to her own front door. She looked down and noticed that she was making quite a mess on the patio, and since her mother had spent the entire day cleaning, maybe she better not go in the house till she stopped gushing blood all over the place. Instead of going in she opened the front door and called;
''Mom?''
''What?!? I'm busy in the kitchen, go play!''. said her mother
''Erm, well, can you come look at something real quick?''asked the little girl.
''I'm BUSY, What do you need?'' responded her mother.
''Uhm, well, can't you just come here real quick?'' The little girl didn't want to annoy her mommy, but she really thought this was something her mother should see. There was by now quite a big mess on the patio.
''Fine, but make it quick!'' Her mother strode with a heavy gate to the door, saw her little girl, and, and she screamed. The little girl was really quite taken aback, she'd never heard her mommy scream, shout yes, but not scream.
The mother scooped up the little girl and brought her into the kitchen and finally she started to cry, the floor that moments before had been sparkly-clean was now a mess, and for sure her mommy would the big p-worded when she realized it. Luckily the mother never seemed to notice it. And the girl was rushed to the hospital and recieve a grand total of one hundred and eighty stiches in her legs. She reflected later that when the skin wasn't on her legs, the gashes looked an awful lot like Domino's pizza without the topping.
And that Is the story of how I aquired 2of the 3 large scars on my knees and a 4inch scar across my shin.
P.S. I don't know where BS slept that night, but by the time I got back from the emergency room she had a brand new glass house, that for some reason, no longer looked like a stool when turned upside-down. 5
