What to Do

Email: If an abuser has access to your email account, he or she may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess. If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing email messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse. Additionally, the messages may constitute a federal offense. For more information on this issue, contact your local police department and file an incident report.

History / Cache File: If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet. You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser's settings.*

Netscape: Pulldown Edit menu, select Preferences. Click on Navigator on choose 'Clear History'. Click on Advanced then select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache". On older versions of Netcape: Pulldown Options menu. Select Network Options, Select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".

Internet Explorer: Pulldown View menu, select Internet Options. On General page, under Temporary Internet Files , click on "Delete Files". Under History click on "Clear History."

AOL: Pulldown Members menu, select Preferences. Click on WWW icon. Then select Advanced. Purge Cache.

* This information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. The safest way to find information on the internet, would be at a local library, a friend's house, or at work.

The purpose of this checklist is to help you plan to leave an abusive situation quickly and safely.

Emergency Plan:

Safety During a Crisis Situation:

• Call 911 and yell loudly to alert neighbours.
• Arrange for a friend or neighbour to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
• Have a code word to use with your children, family, friends or neighbours when you need the police.
• Use your right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
• When phoning 911, leave the phone off the hook so that the call can be traced and emergency person will not phone back.
• Teach your children how to phone 911 and instruct them to keep the phone off the hook.
• Teach your children to go to a designated safe area outside the home and stay there until help arrives.

Safety When Planning to Leave:

• Always take your children with you.
• Build your independence by getting your own bank account and/or credit card; be sure it is at a different bank from the one your partner uses.
• Tell no one about the account to ensure the bank will not send you mailings or release information to anyone but you. This is easily done and very common.
• Leave a packed bag with someone you trust in case you have to leave quickly. Don't forget money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, extra medication, clothes, toiletries and essential supplies for your children.
• Take or photocopy all important documents (restraining order, birth certificates, visas or passports, divorce papers, custody orders, social insurance card, health care cards, driver's license, bank book, lease, deed, or rental agreement). Keep important documents in a safe place for easy access in a crisis.
• Take something meaningful for your children; a favourite stuffed animal, toy or book.
• Arrange for a safe place to go before you decide to leave.
• Keep shelter and emergency numbers close at hand; it is safest to memorize them.
• Have change or a calling card for emergency calls.

• Change the locks on your door and secure your windows.
• Make sure your children have a safety plan for when you are not with them.
• Inform school or daycare about who has permission to pick up your children.
• Inform your neighbours and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you.
• Remove your address from personal cheques and business cards. Use your work address or get a private mailbox.
• Destroy all discarded mail.
• File a change of address card with the post office listing this as your new address. Use the mailbox address for all documents (i.e. driver's license, social insurance card, etc.)
• File for confidential voter status or register with a private mailing address.
• Call your local telephone service to have your phone red-flagged and privately blocked.
• Place residential rent agreements in another person's name.
• Notify your local law enforcement about your situation and ask for periodic drive-bys. Some departments provide a free home security check up.
• Document and report any incidents of harassment. Noting the date, time and details of each incident.
• There are support groups in some areas; look into these options.

Safety With a Restraining Order:

• Keep it with you at all times and give a copy to a family member, trusted friend, or neighbour.
• Call the police if your abuser violates the order.
• Determine other ways to stay safe if the police do not respond immediately.
• Inform family, friends, neighbours, and your physician that you have a restraining order.
• Have friends, neighbours, or landlord contact the police if they see your abuser near your home. They should provide the police with a description or picture of your abuser and the make, model and license number of his/her car.

• Decide who at work should know about your situation (including security) and supply them with a photograph of your abuser, if necessary.
• Screen your telephone calls.
• Make sure you can work safely.
• If you drive, park in a well-lit, secure place.
• Ask someone to escort you to your means of transportation.
• Use a variety of routes home, if possible.
• Do not allow items to be placed in or removed from the trunk of your car except in your presence.
• When parking in residence garage, turn on lights and lock the car and the garage door.
• Always check the back and front passenger areas before getting into your car.
• Keep your doors locked while driving.
• Get a car or cell phone.
• Shop at stores & shopping centres with security personnel. Do not shop where he shops.