| Red's "About Me" Page a short biography by Parker Woodbridge Jnr. IV | ||
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Red is not really the type to write lots and lots of words. It just isn't his thing. He puts out small fires. It's what he does. So in the interests of truth and clarity, I have been asked to write this biographical section about Red. - Parker Woodbridge Jnr. IV I first met Red a number of years ago in Milan, Italy where Red was attending a park waste bin fire. Armed only with a bucket of water, Red had that fire out in seconds. I had the chance to have a chat with him afterwards at a local street cafe where Red assured me they served the best ever wild berries in Milan. In between scoops of fruit, Red began to tell me about his truly remarkable career. Red has had this thing about berries since he was a kid, when his parents used to provide them for him most days. "They're a bit messy when you get the squidgy ones", says Red. Berries have been one of the major reasons for Red's travels. He's quite a connisseur of the world's berries and can name them all, give vivid descriptions of their texture and flavour, which type go well with which and so on. Red also has more than a passing interest in the archaelogical aspect of berries. Whilst in Egypt a couple of years ago on a Toureg camp fire blaze, Red found time to go digging around some of the old tombs with the curator of the Cairo museum. They chanced across an ancient waste pit in which Red found and identified the fossilised seeds of wild berries. The curator was naturally extremely pleased and shortly afterwards, Red was presented with an honorary doctorate in Wild Berry Archaeology by the University of Cairo. Needless to say, Red looks forward to foraging around for interesting morsels. |
Red has many other interests including fishing, especially when he has a chance for a little relaxation. Red has a healthy appetite and has always loved fish, salmon being his favourite. "It's always been easier for me to just reach in and grab 'em rather than use a rod". says Red, "Rod's just don't have that..... hmmmm..... feel. You know what I mean?" Red also enjoys trout and pike amongst others. "I think the best trout in the U.K. come from the Peak District and the best pike from the Midlands, around the River Trent area. It's very good for eels there too!" he added enthusiastically. Fire fighting is obviously what Red is mainly known for though. If you have a small fire, Red's not going to be far away. He started in firefighting purely by accident some years ago. His mother had a chip pan fire in her kitchen when Red grabbed a teatowel, soaked and wrang it out and threw it over the chip pan. He then carefully took the pan outside to cool down. News in the area got around and soon Red was being called upon to extinguish bonfires, waste bin fires, chip pan fires and the like. His career took off. Everyone knows how Red travels the world putting out small fires. His exploits have been variously described as, heroic, stupendous, remarkable, amazing, etc., etc. He has become a true legend in his own time as anyone will testify. His parents are very proud of him and his deeds and talk about him with just pride. "We love our boy!" they both say. So if you happen to spy a small fire at any time, take out your mobile phone and dial R-E-D, then keep your eyes open, Red may be only a block away..... | |