journal

So, yesterday I got some pretty great news. I am... APPROVED! Oh, yeah, that's right, uh huh ... APPROVED! That's me doing my happy dance...my APPROVED dance... joy,joy,joy...! The thought of one word meaning SO much... APPROVED, did you hear me...? APPROVED...Okay, bordering on obnoxious, but I'm still doing my happy dance.

My other sort of good news is that I'm going on location in March. It's only sorta good news because, generally I hate going on location (though I've only done it once before, it was not good) This means of course that I have to wait until I get back to have my surgery... Have my surgery, just had to say that one more time! (happy sigh)

Waiting seems to be a lesson for me in EVERYTHING, but I don't care, I just don't care... because I get to have my surgery! And I really am not complaining either about getting hired for this gig, this is a great opportunity. So now I have to try and get as much of my pre-op work done as I can before I leave... Life is SO BEAUTIFUL!

I don't know what else I could say to top my news... So I'm going to try and contain myself for the rest of the day...

New Fav songs right now:
Hands Clean - Alanis Morrisette
U Don't Have to Call - Usher
In the End - Linkin Park (I know not exactly new, so I'm a little late)
Hella Good - No Doubt
Girlfriend - N'Sync

Favorite lipsticks(All I could think of)
Fetish- Mac
Chintz - Mac
Spanish Fly - Mac
X-pose - Mac

Favorite lipglass
Silly - Mac
Pitter Patter - Mac
Chroma camel - Mac
(sorta stuck on Mac, even though they are ridicuously high sometimes)

After procrastinating most of the weekend, I finally got down to business late Saturday and did my work. I had to stop and think about why I was waiting until the last minute to do everything. It's funny, most things in my life are going great and yet somehow I am subconsciously looking for a way to sabotage myself. I have known that I had to finish this rewrite forever. The producers I am working with have given me all the time I could ever need... three full weeks and I wait until the very last minute to do it. That's just ridiculous. I create all the drama in my life. I finished it, but I tell you, the way I backed myself into a corner is SO crazy. The real truth is, I don't have any more excuses. I have some amazing opportunities coming my way and it's as if I am sleepwalking through them. My mother said it's not failure that frightens me, it's success. I think a part of that must be true. I guess I am coming to a crossroads and it's just funny as hell. I need to seriously put myself in check. I'm going to work on this project, which is scary and exciting, but what an opportunity. I am going to be able to have my surgery, which means that I now have a tool to effectively deal with my weight (not just a momentary fix) and I have an opportunity to buy my first home. What blessings! I need to take a moment and just be thankful for everything that is happening in my life. So here's my moment....