I have been discussing ma views to ma friends fer a long time now. It was them what brought me to deceide to run.
I will be running on the Redneck ticket. When I am elected, there will be two cabinets in the white house. A gun cabinet, and a liquor cabinet.
The following people are being considered fer members of my cabinets:
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Secratary of Education..............Jethro Bodine
Secratary of Treasury................Jedd Clampet
Secratary of Defence.................Charlton Heston
Secratary of Transportation........Jeff Burton
Secratary of State.....................Waylon Jennings
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Director of CIA..........................Rush Limbaugh
Diredtor of Protocall..................Jack Danials
Director of FBI..........................Mark Russel
Director of Environment.............Phillip Morris
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At this time, my running mate has not been selected, but several people are being considered: Vince Gill, Ward Burton, and Dale Earnhart Jr.
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Now, allow me to give you a summery of my viewpoints. First, I propose to replace the word "politics" with "head honchos". Allow me to explain, I do not like the word "politics" As most of us know, the word "poli" in greek, means "many", and we all know that "tics" are "blood sucking creatures".
Next, I propose a national holiday to honor the fallen heros of NASCAR. This can co-inside with the running of the Daytona 500. The day would start with a "fly over" by the Confederate Air Force. The race would then be broadcast live on all telivision networks, and on all radio stations thorughout the country.The days activities would then conclude with a nation wide block party hosted by: Jim Beam, Johnny Walker and Bartels & James. Entertainment would be provided by, The Oakridge Boys, Willie Nelson, and Hank Williams Jr.
My next proposal, is really a good deturant to crime. I propose that every home have a 12 gauge shotgun next to the bed at all times. The reason is simple. Suppose you are in bed asleep and a burgler breaks in your front door. All you need to do is rack the gun one time. The bad guy, knowing that sound, wets his pants, breaks wide and runs away.No shots fired, and yer stuff is safe. I also believe in being harsh on crime. When a person is sentanced to 5years, he serves 5 years. I know, some of you are wondering "what about good behavior"? well, if they had that to staart with, they wouldn't be gettin sent to the big house.
In closing, all I can say now is to be sure to vote early and vote often. Just remember:
REDDNECKERSON fer PRESIDENT
