The next day was yet another day in paradise. I woke up at 5:30 to the pounding of icy rain outside my window. By 6:15, Romey was being bratty, so Mum and Dad were in foul moods, and having them sign my report card did not improve them. As usual, Dad told me my outfit was entirely unacceptable and ordered me to go back upstairs and change. As usual, I pretended to be momentarily deaf. I missed the bus, and Arik had to drive me to school. Arik does not function well before 11 AM, and even he was in a testy mood.

However, once at school I put on a happy face for everyone, because when I angst, Lin gets annoyed and Georgie frets that I'm going to slit my wrists. I listened to everyone else's whining about how their parents grounded them for their grades, all the kids who legitimately deserved it with their Ds and Fs, and got a few laughs from my own (watered-down) tales of my parents' anal-retentiveness.

School was okay. Not too much homework, no tests to be taken or get back, just an average day of daydreaming, taking notes, and scribbling song lyrics on desks. I sent my French class into hysterics with a well-timed joke that made even Monsieur smile. And I didn't even get beaten up!

And then the war recommenced at 2:30.

Romey was still being a brat, Mum and Dad were still stressed, and Arik was in an unusual mood. By three o'clock I had escaped to my room to listen to the screaming from the floor below me in safety. Romey was wailing and Dad was yelling at her, and Mum and Arik were having an argument. I listened intently to Mum and Arik's argument, for it was a rare day indeed when someone raised their voice at Human Perfection.

I guess I exaggerate when I describe Arik as perfect, because he does have perhaps one flaw: he's shy and has no life of his own.

Oh, and he's gay.

It was the shock of a lifetime to Mum and Dad when Arik came out of the closet six years ago. It was the first time they realized their son had any sort of abnormality, anything they wouldn't brag about to the other parents at the PTO meetings. But Arik stayed a pilot, was still masculine, and kept quiet about it, so my parents accepted his sexual orientation, and he stayed their adored son. Heck, he was a queer, but (to their eyes) he was a respectable one. He even had a long-term boyfriend, Bryce. They met in college and were together, monogamous and devoted and perfect, for six years. Dad didn't like Bryce, but Mum and I did, and we assumed they'd both be the perfect gay couple and be together, monogamous and devoted and perfect, forever and ever.

But they weren't. They had a nasty breakup last December, and Arik's been single and lonely ever since. From what I could tell from the top of the stairs, this was what Mum has a problem with. She doesn't care if Arik is gay so long as he's happy and has someone to spend his life with. Arik, however, is a coward to the nth degree, and he's too afraid to start dating again. He won't date, and since this is the airship off-season, any time he doesn't spend at our house he spends alone on the airship. I can understand why it would take more than just a few months to get over a six-year relationship, but Bryce was his first boyfriend, and I think he's being unrealistic to believe that Bryce is the only one he'll ever be with.

Arik's voice had risen now, because it always gets high-pitched when he's upset, and I suspected that he was crying, which he does easily. You don't understand, he was screaming, you have no idea what I've been through! Mum, the ever-sympathetic, replied, You have to be realistic, Arik! You and Bryce broke up. It's over! You have to deal with that! I leaned over the rail and strained to hear Arik's reply: What am I supposed to do?

And then came Dad's voice, out of nowhere: "You could find yourself a nice girl."

Dead silence.

Hand over my mouth, shocked that Dad would be so blunt, I listened intently for a reply. None came; I imagined Arik was staring, open-mouthed, stricken.

Dad made a pathetic laugh. "Sorry," he said. "Relax. It was just a joke." And I heard him leave the room.

They didn't argue any more after that. I heard Mum go into the kitchen. Arik left the house. I went into my room and pretended I hadn't heard.

I felt like I'd been smacked, and the 'joke' hadn't even been directed at me. Arik should have expected that, I guess. You do not argue with the parentals around here. You can try all you want, but they will shut you up, one way or another. Plus, he could be as gay as he wanted, but it wasn't to be discussed at length. Dad's joke had essentially meant: We don't want to hear about your boyfriend problems anymore, so stop.

Yeah, Arik's gay, but we don't talk about it. No one ever said not to talk about it, but we don't. We're not supposed to tell people about it. No one ever specifically said not to, but it's understood. We don't discuss homosexuality or rights or pride. When Bryce was around, he was known as 'Bryce,' not 'Arik's boyfriend,' not for any stated reason, but because that's just what we did.

Arik never says anything about it. Like I said, we do not talk about it. He's happy enough to still be in Mum and Dad's good graces, so he ignores their veiled homophobia. I hate him for it. Why won't he stick up for himself? Why does he accept it? Does he like it? Does he think this is how it's supposed to be?

Well, maybe it is. After all, what do I know?

I'd like Bryce to take him back. I really liked Bryce, and I want Arik to stop hanging out at home. Bryce had been like a second brother to me for years, but he never sucked the way Arik did. I always looked up to him, and I would fall over myself trying to impress him so that he would think I was cool. He was the tallest, thinnest man I'd ever seen, and he was what Arik should have been: fearless, self-assured, and unapologetic. He used to argue brilliantly with Dad, and he paid me special attention, like I meant something in the world. He smoked and smirked and always, always carried his head high. For whatever reason, he loved Arik.

But, hell, Bryce isn't stupid; eventually he figured out what an imbecile Arik is. That's why he left him.

Dad likes it better that way, anyway. Under his breath he used to call Bryce a flaming trailer trash whore when he thought only Mum could hear. And Arik's straighter when he's single.

So I lied: Arik is not innately perfect. My parents treat his sexuality as a flaw, but so long as he's subtle about it, there's no problem. And he is subtle about it. He acts exactly the way they want him to, and they love him for it.

Personally, I don't care who he sleeps with. I'm not homophobic. I sometimes use gay slurs, but I do it to piss off my parents, not because I'm hateful. Homosexuality doesn't bother me, doesn't gross me out; after all, essentially I grew up with two gay brothers, one of whom was the most amazing person I'd ever met. And I have gay friends, male and female, at school. Whatever, it's all fine by me.

To be honest, I'm glad Arik's gay. The only way I will ever be able to one-up him is to get married and have a bunch of kids to carry on the Redde family name (Harris Redde, stud muffin?) I will never have to compete with him over girls. My girlfriend will always be better than his, by default. Hey, every little bit helps.

Now if I could only get a girlfriend...!

The following few days were better. School was normal, except that at one point I was chased down the hall by Spinner after my mouth got the better of me, and I only evaded him by some quick thinking on the part of a chick friend who pulled me into the girls' bathroom (they do NOT have a couch in there! It's all a lie!) Arik had returned to the house, but he was meeker than usual. No one really spoke to each other at dinner except for Romey, who babbled on and on about some pink and sparkly aspect of her asinine existence. I floated around the house without saying a word or bothering a soul, and I was left mostly alone. It was nice to have days like that once and awhile, lull days when I could go for a walk in the woods or talk to a friend on the phone without being harassed. A kid can only take so many nights of yelling before they start to go funny in the head.

Naturally, it couldn't last. In a flash, my calm lull was shattered. On Friday of that week, I was suspended.

It's a long story. On Friday, Justin and Spinner cornered me on the way to lunch. They backed me into a corner by the janitor's office and stole all the money I had in my backpack�about fifteen dollars total, including my lunch money, money to buy a book for class, and a few reserve dollars. Furious, I rounded up Lin and Georgie to wreak havoc on them and their whole jocky ghetto-prep posse. We got a short chickfriend to crawl under their table and tie their shoelaces together. Lin, Georgie, and I went into the boys' bathroom and filled up several cups with toilet water. Halfway through lunch, we discreetly surrounded their table, poised behind Justin, Spinner, and their vituperative minions. Then, on the count of three�"Omigod, I tripped!"�SPLASH!

The jocks hollered�Justin jerked forwards and made Spinner crash down under the table, pulled by their attached shoelaces. Two other people jumped out of the way and hit the ground, their lunches upended on their shoulders, while the rest of the cafeteria looked on, transfixed and then hysterical.

And all hell broke loose.

The jocks tore their shoelaces apart and lunged at us. My boys and I turned tail and ran, zipping through the lunchroom and dashing into the hallway. The jocks came barreling after us, their furious voices booming�a teacher screamed at us to stop, but we were deaf to it�we tore down the hallways, high-tops skidding on linoleum, all faculty disregarded, our sides splitting with laughs-and then we turned a corner into a dead end.

Justin was on me before I'd finished gasping, "Shit!" His hands seized my shoulders and threw me backwards to the ground. I hit hard and coughing, winded, and he leapt on top of me, fists flying and pounding like pistons. Howling, I tried to push him off me, but he was twice my size. Lin and Georgie grabbed his arms and threw him off me. I pulled myself up in time to see Justin regain his footing and throw my friends off him. The rest of the jocks suddenly appeared, and it was over for us.

I swung at Justin as he rushed at me again, but my punch was weak, and he seized my wrist and hit me hard across the face. My vision went black, and I yelped as he threw me back against a wall.

Everything was black and loud, and I had no bearings whatsoever. I covered my head with my arms as his fists rained on me like a hailstorm, punching and punching and punching. I kicked out in the general direction of the fists and connected with solid flesh�he roared and jumped back. I fell forward and struck hard blackness with a force that made my ears ring. A foot stamped my lower back�I yelled and kicked out with my legs�and suddenly there were hands on my shoulders and armpits, seizing me and dragging me upright. Panicked, I flailed and shrieked wildly�and from the other end of the world I heard Georgie yell, "Harris, don't! It's Mr. Pace!"

That didn't click for several moments�I was breathing hard and sobbing like an idiot, my mouth full of the iron and salt of blood and tears�I could hear Mr. Pace's voice roaring my name in his thunderous bellow, and I suddenly realized the hands restraining my shoulders were his. He was yelling and yelling and my head was spinning too fast to comprehend a word of it�I sobbed, "I can't see! I can't see!"

Totally blind, I was dragged to the nurse's, where she cleaned my bloody nose and lip and gave me ice for my face, but there was nothing she could do for my eyes. From there I was thrust into a chair in what I think was the vice-principal's office. There were others in the room�my friends and the jocks among them, I think�and there was more yelling and yelling. Still shaking and completely confused, I hugged my knees while Lin valiantly tried to explain our actions. The true weight of what was happening was finally beginning to sink in. Oh, Christ, I was in the office for fighting�you could get expelled for fighting�expelled!�we hadn't meant to start a fight�we pulled pranks and ran, that was it, because we knew what the administration would do to you if you fought�Oh my God, they were going to call my parents!

I ended up being suspended for five days starting Monday, an entire school week. Justin got a week and a half, Lin, Georgie, and Spinner got three days, and the others only got Saturday detentions. Apparently only Justin and I had really gone at it, and since Justin had really hurt me and he already had a record, he was punished the most.

It was my first offense, so I couldn't be expelled or beaten with a paddle or otherwise horrifically disciplined. In addition to his school suspension, Justin was suspended from the basketball team for the rest of the season, which meant he would miss the last playoff games or championship or whatever the heck they were. I probably could have gotten him expelled if I'd ratted on how he'd been harassing me since September, but I was so scared, sitting there bleeding and blind, that I was much more concerned with my own defense than an offensive attack.

They called my parents and made my father come pick me up. I was physically shaking, feeling like I was going to vomit at any moment. If I thought they'd been upset with my report card, hell, I hadn't seen anything yet. I'd never gotten into trouble like this at school�Oh God, they were going to disown me!

The door creaked open, and I heard, "Hello? I'm Harrison-Addison's father." I sank into the chair, my face buried in my knees, wishing I'd be taken home by Mr. Lin, Mrs. Gigamario�even Mr. Spinner�anyone but my father.

I feigned nonexistence while Mr. Pace briefed my father on the events of the day. I heard my father's breathing become heavier and raspier as Mr. Pace explained my five-day suspension. He went over every excruciating detail�I was excluded from all school functions on and off school property, there would be a parent-teacher conference, and I would have to make up every bit of work I'd missed.

"I'm sorry," Dad murmured to Mr. Pace, and I felt a scratchy burning in my chest at his devastated tone. "I assure you this will never, ever happen again. Right, Harrison?"

I nodded. Dad seized my shoulder and pulled me out of the chair. "Harrison, move," he ordered sharply when I didn't move.

"I-I got punched�I can't see!" I cried. Dad grunted angrily and seized my arm. Roughly, he led me out of the office. It was awkward trying to get my things out of my locker, as I had to dictate the number and combination to my father. To make matters worse, all my things spilled out of my locker and crashed to the floor as if it had been booby-trapped. He bitched to me about that, bitched about the Sharpie doodles and lyrics all over my books, bitched about the safety-pins on my coat and backpack, and continued bitching me all the way out into the parking lot.

"Hurry up!" he barked, shoving me towards the car. I got in the passenger side. I heard him get in and close the door on the driver's side, but he didn't start the car right away.

"Un-believable, he hissed after a minute, and I melted into the seat. "Unbelievable!"

"D-dad, I'm sorry-I didn't mean to�"

"Harrison-Addison, you've been suspended for an entire school week�SUSPENDED!"

"Dad, I can explain, I�"

"What is there to explain? You got in a fight�you caused a calamity in the cafeteria!"

I was grateful that I couldn't see his face, for if I had seen how red and tense his usually placid face was, I don't think I could have held my composure. "Dad, he beat me up and took my money�he's a real jerk, we had to fight back!"

"There is no excuse for fighting!" he hollered, and I cringed. I heard him turn the key with a click and start the engine.

"Dad�!"

"Don't say a word, Harrison, just don't," he hissed.

We drove for a few minutes, but in the dark, thick silence, it felt like hours. There was no radio, just the sounds of Dad's hands squeezing and pulling at the wheel, the crunching of gravel below the tires, and my own sniffling. My vision was slowly improving; now instead of being completely blind, I could make out a gray splotch in front of me. My vision often blacked out, especially when my face was injured, although sometimes it happened randomly. It always came back, eventually. I guessed that by now it had been a little over an hour since the fight. I've been blinded longer, but it's still scary, as I never know when I'll be blinded forever.

"I can't believe you could be so stupid," Dad said at last, his voice tense with built-up frustration. I said nothing, as ordered. I could tell from his tone that if I were anyone but his family member and we were doing anything but driving, he'd be punching me up like I was the white bag in the basement he and Arik worked out on. It scared me.

"For God's sake, Harrison, what were you thinking?!" he continued. "You're a pipsqueak! That Davison kid is twice your size! You're hardly a fighter�hell, with your delicate condition, it's amazing you weren't killed! Do you realize how stupid and dangerous it is for you to fight? Not only could he shatter your scrawny body, but with one bad punch it could be lights out forever, do you understand that?"

"I know that," I grunted, hurt that he honestly thought I was that physically pathetic. "But my vision's coming back, I'm okay�"

"But what if it didn't come back? You can't afford to hurt your eyes in some stupid fight!"

"I know!"

"What would we do if you were blinded, huh? Do you think we have the money to send you to a special school?"

"Dad, I know!"

Dad let out an angry sigh, and I felt the car stop at a stoplight and then turn onto a bumpy road into the woods. My face burned, and my heart was still pounding.

After a while, Dad spoke again, and this time his tone was lower and less scalding. "Stay away from that Davison kid. Things...aren't quite right at home, from what I hear. He's a dangerous kid."

No shit, Dad.

We took a turn and stopped. Home. Dad turned the car off and got out. Slowly, I unbuckled and made to follow. I took my time getting around the car, feeling around the hood with my fingertips so as to not trip. I've spent enough of my life totally blind to know how to get around the places I'm familiar with by feeling with my fingertips, judging the turf under my feet, and creating a mental map of where I should be. Still, I tripped on a soccer ball Arik had left outside and landed in the wet grass, my mental image shattered. Dad had to pick me up and guide me into the house like I was a helpless infant instead of a teenage boy.

Mum started hollering before I crossed the threshold; halfway over the landing, a large gray object leapt in front of, wailing like an overweight banshee.

"How many days, Addison?" she snapped at my father behind me.

"Five," he replied.

"A five day suspension?! For one fight?!" Mum shrieked, backing into the kitchen as Dad pushed me forward. As my vision cleared a bit more, I could make out Arik perched at the top of the stairs. I heard him slink down after us to shamelessly watch me get yelled at.

"That's pretty standard," Dad explained, "but there was also a practical joke involved before hand and a certain wild chase through the hallways�and he resisted the administration when they tried to stop the fight."

"I was totally blind! I couldn't tell it was Mr. Pace!" I interjected quickly.

"A joke? Christ, what did you do, Harry, set the damn school on fire? A five-day suspension! Sit down, young man, we're going to discuss this!"

Indeed, Mother, 'discuss' is the perfect word to describe how you'll be yelling at me so hard spit will fly from your red-faced mouth while your jowls quiver and you wave your pudgy fists around in violent convulsions. I felt around for a chair and sat down.

"First of all, Harry, there is NO EXCUSE for fighting at school! I don't care what excuses you have, there is NO reason for you to pick a fight with ANYONE! You are at school to LEARN, not to throw fists around and try to act like some tough guy!"

Sorry, Mum, next time I won't defend myself. I'll just offer him my neck and let him kill me.

"Harrison-Addison, are you listening to me?!"

"Mum, obviously I didn't MEAN to get in a fight! I definitely wasn't trying to get suspended�I had to defend myself!"

"But what about this practical joke, hmm?"

"Justin Davison and Mike Spinner stole all my money�they're always harassing me, so I couldn't just let them get away with it! Me and Lin and Georgie, we just dumped some water on them, no big deal. We tried to get away, but they followed us and started attacking us!"

"Harrison-Addison, did it NEVER occur to you that you could go to a teacher for help? There was no need to drag Xiang-Xue and George into this!"

"Teachers never do anything! And they're my friends, they stick up for me!"

"A real friend wouldn't drag his friends into needless trouble! Poor Mr. Lin, he's all alone with Xiang-Xue and those four girls and the airship�the last thing he needs is his son being manipulated into trouble by his friends!"

"The joke was his idea," I snapped.

"Don't talk back to me!"

"That wasn't talking back!"

"I said don't talk back to me!"

"Harrison, I can't even explain how disappointed we are in you," Dad said from across the table, much more evenly than my mother, who was about to pull a Mount Vesuvius and explode all over the kitchen. I can take my mother's ranting, but it's my father's biting scolds and criticisms that hurt.

"You obviously don't understand what you did today. Your actions have consequences! This suspension will go down on your permanent record for the rest of your educational career! And you got off lucky this time�you've gotten your first strike, anything else and you could be expelled!" Dad continued. "Do you think a college wants a discipline case?"

I clenched my jaw and fists, my eyes on my sneakers. This was all so stupid and melodramatic, and they were totally ignoring my attempts to explain! Why did I bother trying to communicate with my parents? It was futile!

"And disregarding all that, even�Harry, you could have been hurt!" Back to Mum now. "You're lucky all you got were a few bruises and a bloody nose. But what if you'd hit your head? You could have ended up a vegetable!"

I knew what she meant, but in spite of the circumstances, I snorted to myself. Harris Redde, the one-eyed cucumber boy. Like Larry Boy, the cucumber superhero from those Veggie Tales Christian movies.

"What is so funny?!" Mum demanded. "Harrison-Addison, are you hearing any of this?!"

"My hearing is perfect, it's my other senses that are delicate," I sneered.

My mother smacked the top of my head. "Harrison-Addison Madison Redde! YOU�URGHH!" She was so angry she was speechless and sputtering. "Just-just�get out of here!"

"Go to your room! And stay there!" Dad hollered. "Oh right, you're blinded�ARIK! Take your brother to his room!"

Arik slid out from where he'd been eavesdropping and softly clutched my wrist to pull me forwards.

"Come on, Harry," he murmured, in a tone that implied he, too, was disappointed and upset with me, the third parent I never asked for.

And in the hallway I heard Mum sigh to Dad, "We never had anything like this with Arik!"

I kicked Arik as hard as I could in the shins and ran up the stairs just fine by myself.

next chapter...