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My dreams were littered with black and red, knives and screams, chopped up arms and bloodstained sheets. In the swirl of demonic horror, I saw Roger, weeping and screaming at the same time. I saw him take a knife and stab it through his chest� I woke up with a yell, my head spinning. I sat straight up, breathing hard. I looked around, blinking against the bright light that filtered in through the window, completely confused and disoriented. I was fully dressed but gross�rumpled and dirty, with strange red splotches on my shirt� My stomach lurched. Everything came rushing back like water over falls. I grabbed my clock off the bed stand� �it was eight a.m. My heart stopped. I ran from my room and leapt down the stairs in a single bound. My mother was in the kitchen, and she shrieked in surprise. �Have you heard anything?!� I gasped. �Is he okay?!� She shook her head, and I didn�t give her a chance to speak. In an instant I was outside and in my car. Goddamn, Goddamn, why wouldn�t it start?! I jammed the key as hard as I could, and at last the engine yielded to me. I backed out, the tires spinning and spitting gravel, and floored it�I had to get to Roger. How could I have fallen asleep?! How could I be so careless?! I don�t remember getting to his house�suddenly I was there, and I leapt out of the car, leaving it running. I slammed on the door and was stunned to feel it swing open under my fist. It wasn�t locked�hell, it was barely closed. My stomach dropped with dread. �ROGER!� I yelled, entering the kitchen. �MRS. O�DONNELL! Is anyone home?!� Beneath my sneakers, something gave a high-pitched crunch. Broken glass. I looked around and found the source: Mr. O�Donnell�s old liquor cabinet, which, after obvious events, had been locked up. The glass part of the door had been smashed in. I spun around, taking in the rest of the kitchen. All the cabinet drawers were open. �ROGER, WHERE ARE YOU?!� I hollered, quickly hopping over the glass and dashing for the stairs. I pounced into his room, but it was as I had left it. Only the bed was empty now, the sheets rumpled on the floor. I whirled into the hallway. The door to their small bathroom�the room with the creaky wooden floor and the nice-smelling candle on counter next to the window�was open, swinging lightly because it was a few millimeters off size to squeeze the uneven wooden floor of the hallway. It creaked ever so softly. I approached it, black dread swirling up my legs and into my stomach, dragging me to the ground like dark tendrils. I fought them. I went in. There was blood all over the floor. The towel on the ground was stained dark crimson with it�thin puddles had dried brown in the cracks of the off-white tile floor�drying splashes of blood smattered the countertop and coated the inside of the sink�I could smell vomit�empty prescription bottles littered the floor, the cabinet doors were open, their contents messy. I ran from the house, dry-heaved into the snow, and leapt into my car. I knew in my heart that no one was home. My hands shook violently on the wheel�my whole body trembled and shivered�I could barely see past my nose. My vision was splotching black, and my head was dizzy�Oh, hell, I thought, panicking, don�t let me pass out! By the grace of God, I made it home. I fell out of my car and landed face-first on the icy pavement. The end of my nose burned, and I wiped it, turning the back of my hand a brighter shade of red than the dark ochres it was already stained. I shrieked at the sight of more blood�there had been so much blood, so much blood in that room, so much blood�! I threw open the door to my house and nearly collapsed in the mudroom. I jerked myself to the doorway of the kitchen�I opened my mouth to yell for my mother, but she was already there. She stood in the center of the kitchen, red-faced, a phone clutched to her chest. She looked me in the eyes and started to cry. I screamed. |