Love-Searching in Bars

"Dance with me," he says,  
and you glance at men with ties doing shots.
"Maybe my arms around your waist, 
so I can feel 
that red dress."  
He lifts a bottled beer to his lips,
letting it dangle upside-down. 
As he swallows, you 
watch his Adam's apple
rise and recoil. 
"I've always liked satin," he says.  
You fix your boobs 
inside your bra,
and wonder why, 
and so you say, 
"I'm not interested," then 
turn your bare, white back.
He steals you by the shoulder,
with fingers wet 
from ice-cold beer and 
sweaty palms, and 
spins you around, as
if you'd accepted his offer. 
"Forget the dance," he says.  
"Just tell me something, 
like in a whisper."
He taps his earlobe with 
a chewed fingertip.
"Whisper in my ear,
come on.  Your lips 
don't have to touch it," he says.  
He cups it with a palm,
the other hand resting 
on his right ribcage, beneath
his blue polo. 
You roll your eyes and rotate.  
"Don't look away, please."  
But you flip the bird,
firing it off from behind your shoulder.
"Oh oh, not the finger."
And you jiggle your hand. 
"It was a joke," he says, "the whisper, 
really."  Rubbing the outline 
of your red dress, you stride 
away, hard, shaking
your hips, hearing his
voice echoing off the walls
like it was an empty room.  "And 
I promise I won't get all weird," he says.
"I'm really not that weird, 
really." You swing
open the double doors,
the chill night spraying
your cheeks, dancing
on the damp surface
of your steaming skin, and
you listen to him speak
with a lonely hum.
"It's just a dance," 
he says.  "One dance."
Tilting your head up,
you stare at the stars behind
a streetlamp, like lanterns
lit in faraway rooms, their blinds open,
and you breathe limitless 
with your red lips puckered, 
make-believing: 
I'm sucking them 
down my throat, 
I am.
You picture scattered sparks
tumbling down a tunnel,
like a subway train.
Someday I'll touch
them.  Someday.
And your hand rips
through your navel,
yellow-blood 
to your wrist, where
fireflies swarm out 
the opening,
and you keep
whichever clear thing 
you catch.