quintessence

Quintessence

Quietly sitting pondering the reality of my fear.

Should I allow anybody to glimpse into my actual soul

To look into my eyes would give away too much,

Not a glance but a searching reaching gaze

Would provide the information I have spent a lifetime trying to hide.

I gladly share a miniscule,

A little at a time, feelers deliberately uttered to shock and surprise,

With a pure intention of learning to trust

A test, a taste, an initiation of kind.

Connection with the past, the demons of my mind,

Aspects I cant explain and reluctant to explore!

Seeking understanding, some comfort from inside
Could precede to something new,

Relief from the lies and the fakeness of it all,

Or would it open doors?

Awake the lurking demon and propagate more fear.

Protect the resting spirit I shout!

Struggle for survival and strengthen the beating heart,

Until time can carry you out for the final curtain call

And finally rest in loving peaceful arms

Home, to be myself.

� Jane F. Chapman
March 2002