i love -->this<-- guy!

annex blog |:| I Am Jovial

Feb 24, 2005

I am a happy girl! No classes tomorrow (EDSA)! Yippe yee yay!

I hate myself. I keep turning mountains into molehills. SHUT UP, CAMILLE!

Lately, i have been hearing people say the phrase "men are chauvinist pigs".

Let us not make such generalizations. Please take into account that there are quite a number of femminist men. Also, please accept the fact that men are physically stronger than women (but men, please remember that it makes you greater than women).

IDeA 3 is over. F-SD/SPCP hosted it. Ate Tinka was right when she said cute guys would be present. Actually, there was one PRETTY boy there. Really pretty. Damn him for being prettier than me!

Sir Al: I am sorry for what happened in class last Tuesday. Forgive me. Forgive us. Really sorry.

Feb 18, 2005

Sophies' Night and Florante at Laura are over. My heart is teeming with gladness.

I take that back.

I was fucking tree. I was part of the costumes department and i had to spend 2,500 on three costumes (5,500 with downpayment), but heartless little bitches do not know how to take care of costumes and fold them properly. They were supposed to pay, but i had to persuade my mom to forget about it. It's coming out of my allowance. Stupid me!

I've got so much to do and so little time to do it all. Stress again. Hell season. Shit!

I still have to worry about the ballet exams and piano recital.

I'm sad, tired and angry. I want to drop dead.

I'm not going to kill myself. Suicide is a selfish act.

People take their own lives while others are struggling to live.

A teenager with social problems and an impoverished child.

I think i'm just tired.

But i can sleep right now because i have got a million things to do,

January 31, 2005

Nothing new. Krinkle and I went to the Laruku Fan's Day/Juujiro thingy. It was my first time to attend an event of that color. The people we met were...very interesting (to me). Poor Krinkle! This person called R** kept bothering her. FREAKAZOID!!! STOP HARASSING MY FRIEND!!

My life can be likened to televison. There are periods where you get good shows (the shows that are not idiotic) and periods when you get bad shows (like most reality tv shows). Right now, my life is neither a good or bad show. It has turned into one of those crappy commercials that come in between.

Must read up on:
Current events in the Philippines
Elections in Iraq
What's up with the EU
What the hell Bush is up to now

TAG ME AND TELL ME IF THIS DESERVES TO BE CALLED A BLOG OR NOT!

January 22, 2005

I have sucky grades!

FILIPINO -- 82
ENGLISH -- 93
CAMPUS JOURNALISM -- 91
MATHEMATICS -- 77 (ACK!!)
STATISTICS -- 91 SCIENCE -- 82 (HOW SAD!!)
CHRISTIAN LIVING -- 89
ASIAN HISTORY -- 90
COMPUTER -- 91
PEHM -- 86

AVERAGE: 87.20

They're ok grades and i got an ok average, but if i had maintained my grades in Biology, Math, PEHM, and CL, i could have gotten an 88.30. Sayang!

Grrr!

January 19, 2005

I have once again proved to myself and the whole world that my speaking skills are indeed atrophied. Yes, i still talk too fast, but now i have found another flaw in my speaking skills and that flaw is the inability to speak in straight English. Surprisingly, speaking in english in front of the whole class has become sort of a struggle for me. It's already bad enough that i can't speak straight Filipino in front of the whole class without having other skills deteriorate.

Anyway, an advance HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Eizel!

January 15, 2005

SOPHOMORES: pronounced sawf-mores

Way to go, Sophies! You rock! I shall prostrate myself over hot coal in honor of you! The Freshmen rocked too ( I mean it). The Juniors were sore losers, but i still congratulate them. Seniors won. No surprise there.

Okay. The Freshmen won more medals than we did. So what? All i can say is that we aren't sore losers. I'm just so proud of our players.

Congrats to all! Sportsfest '05

Last Day of the year 2004

It's been a pretty boring year. I did nothing significant during these past few days. I received P9,500 pesos (T_T could i have more? pweez). I guess money is okay, but i would have rather received real gifts. And what's with people giving me long-sleeved blouses for Christmas? Are long sleeves in? Sorry. I should be more thankful. But i just don't know when i'll be able to wear those things.

This is a pretty crappy last day of the year blog entry. I had a pretty okay year. Pretty boring. I have no resolutions.

How have i been spending the last days of the year 2004? Well, i have been bumming around and i've also been trying to pig out, but to no avail because there isn't any good food here at home. I can't believe i finished the whole seventh season of Friends in less than 9 hours. For the past few days i have been i n my couch potato trance wherein the only parts of my body that are active are my hands, mouth and eyes. Even my brain is dead.

AAACK!! Can you believe i have to attend training on January 3? FSD core, i may be having a boring and pointless vacation, but it's still a vacation. T_T I have no excuse not to go because ate Fid's house is only a couple of streets away from mine. It's a walking distance. T_T

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Jump if you wanna grow taller. Or you could take Cherifer!

December 27, 2004

annex blog |:| I Am Jovial

Ah! Home sweet home! Although i live in polluted, impoverished Manila, I missed it greatly after being away for 5 days. Tuguegarao is okay (it's becoming a Manila-type a place), but I missed the internet and my books and the two tiny mattresses i call "bed".

Tuguegarao was boring this year. I didn't do anything fun. I didn't even drink anything with alcohol except for a small glass of sangria. I didn't want to finish the small amount left in the bottle. Even more dreary was i got constipated. Suffering constipation is like being in hell's mezzanine (i think). Coffee didn't help.Tsk tsk! Every year i get fewer gifts than the year before. I think my relatives have forgotten that i exist. I guess it's okay since i didn't really want anything.

SOMEBODY ATE ALL MY CHOCOLATES!! GRRRRRRRRR!!

Actually, i don't care. I shall pig out on New Year's eve. Harharhar!

I wish i could have seen Maksim perform. I haven't seen him perform and he's had three shows in the Philippines. If Vanessa Mae ever decides to have a show here, i'm watching. For me, Vanessa Mae is like the progenitor of the classical techno category (I think its actually called dance music which is the offspring of her classical-infused-with-techno musis). Well, maybe she isn't, but she made this type of music popular. She came way before Bond and Maksim and she was only seventeen years old back then. I'm not putting Maksim down or anything. I just LOVE Vanessa Mae.

In retrospect, i realize i have a very boring life. I think i just laugh too much to notice. During New Year, we jump up and down so we can grow taller. What should we do in order to heighten our happiness levels?

December 18, 2004

The exams are over and i am now free of another evil! I'm rejoicing!

MFC went out as a group again, but this time with Karla. hehe! We ate (i overate) in Yoshinoya. We went around and had our picture taken. We watched Pa-siyam. It wasn't such a scary movie, but i had fun screaming. I ate again during the movie. We went to Glicos and rode the "roller coaster" and tried to murder the frog. We acquired "free" tokens from one of the games. I started feeling sick after that. We went Coffee Experience and i wasted my money on a Baileys Latte Mocha which i didn't finish due to gastric pains which i suffered during that time. Ijzan had to find this shop where she was going to have her glasses fixed. I left after that 'cause i wanted them to continue having fun wihout having to drag me, the woman in pain, around. After i left them, me and manang Glo picked up things from Healthy Options and the Surplus Shop. My sister picked us up.

The above paragraph probably got you bored. I didn't even write in an interesting manner. Boring camille with her boring writing style.

I let out a big sigh as i wish that Moning were here. It would be fun if she were here. She's in the states. I hope she's having fun.

This is a boring blog entry. I'll blog again later when i have something interesting to say.

December 10, 2004

Ramayana is over and i am now free! Rejoice! Hurrah!

I am so happy. It's over and those long agonizing weeks are all in the past. Now, i can proceed with more important things like schoolwork and extracurricular activities. Wahooo! I am no longer in complete hate with Valmiki for his frigging epic is no longer part of my life. I am rid of all things evil. Bwahahahahahahaha!

Today was a pretty fun day. We went watch 'Bayanihan Christmas' in PWU. It was the most fun i had in weeks. The show was really entertaining and we SAW a few THINGS that we did not expect to see. Harhar! Pity on those who didn't see the show. It was really good. One word to describe the show: COOLNESS. More white asses!

It is now time that i start studying. I am not getting lower marks this quarter. I swear upon my life that i must not. There is a big possibility that some of my grades could go down, but if my grade drops in at least two subjects, there is a small chance of me being found six feet under.

I am so tired. I need to sleep. I really want to go to the wedding tomorrow, but i don't have anything the least bit formal. So, what i'm going to do is just stay in the hotel and study. But i'll be wearing my good clothes just to cheer me up a bit.

I need sleep. I need to stop typing. Out of topic: Right now, I love all people.

December 7, 2004

Okay. After speaking with several people on yahoo! messenger, i'm no longer as weary or sleepy as i said in my previous blog session. Nothing important happened. I just realized a couple of things after a little chatting.

Number one.
I keep acting depressed. I like seeing my self as a pitiable fool. I guess someone like me should be pitied for being so shallow. I get depressed over a few failing marks. Tsk tsk! I have a friend who's having problems right now. In her classroom, she feels out of place. It seems like their whole class is divided into groups and she doesn't belong to any of them. It doesn't really bother her that she isn't part of a group. It's just that she can't talk to anyone. Plus, she is one to be pitied. She's a really kind peron. She is so nice, but her nicety is being abused by her insensitive classmates. She's an artist. She's always in charge of props. She works hard to create the props. But nobody appreciates the sweat and blood she puts into her work. A vast quantity of the props people don't help her. She's also got a few other problems which i shall not mention. I guess what i'm trying to say is that i have no right to be depressed. Other people have more problems. Now, my friend is crying and there seems to be nothing i can do or say to console her. All i can do is be there for her. Just be there.

Camille, you are so useless.

Number two.
I shouldn't have been rude when my sister was telling me about the IFS thing. She does get irritating, but i guess she's just thinking about what's good for me. She wants me to be more independent. She wants me to be more adventurous and explore the world on my own to learn new things. After chatting with Kim(pot), i realized that i really want to go to Europe. This IFS thing is how i'm going access Europe. I should be thankful. I have such a caring sister. I wan to make Kimpot my travel buddy. Let us go forth to Russia, Kim!

Number three.
I can't speak the Filipino language as well as i do English. It isn't because i'm an english-speaker. I don't really speak much English at home and i rarely get to exercise my linguistic skills at all. I speak simple English and simple Tagalog. I've already got good English, but my Tagalog sucks. I don't speak Tagalog at home. I can't even learn more Tagalog from the conversations people here at home have. It's because people here don't usually speak Tagalog. They speak Illocano, Ibanag and Itawis. Three dialects quite different from Tagalog. I can understand these three, but i don't speak to people using any of the dialects. I respond in Tagalog. I was never properly schooled in these different dialects. I usually get them mixed up.

It is no great wonder why i can't speak good Filipino. Nobody in this house speaks the Filipino language very often. Poor me! I need proper schooling.

I guess that's all for now. The sleepiness has returned in order to subdue my conscious state. Must fight sleep until i finish taking a shower.

December 7, 2004

I just learned that stress is all in the mind. I am stressed no more than i was during Freshman year. I think that the stuff i did last year was a lot more taxing on my body than the stuff i'm doing now. I used to be able sleep for only 2 hrs for weeks and i did a lot of physical and mental stuff. I guess all the overwork took its toll on my body and now i'm kind of weaker physically (i don't know about the mental aspect). But the thing is i actually had fun and i didn't really notice that i did to much and rested to little until i started thinking about it.

Maybe the reason i've been feeling stressed is because i've been telling myself that i'm stressed. I think it really is all in the mind.

Agh! So sleepy! This year's Marian celebration has left me in a state of lethargy. The only fun things that happened today were the 'sag' thing during the cathechesis and the pre-mass thingy. The mass was nice. I really like the cathechesis. Good speakers. I love good speakers.

Okay. Too tired too type. Too enervated. Aauuugh!

December 3, 2004

Dear Camille,

You sound so pathetic. Listen to yourself. If your words were a scene is some tragic play, it would be the death scene of Romeo and Juliet. You're as pathetic as that Mr. Cellophane dude from Chicago. You are pathetic and you make me want to puke.

My dear, you have to be strong. Remember one of Lakshamana's lines where he tells Rama to remain strong. You are Rama until the play date. Be strong. Be steadfast. You have always been strong and now, the time is nigh to use that strength which you have always kept inside and shown to nobody. I know that you are indeed having a difficult time maintianing your grades. You got a fucking 25/30 on the long test (what the fuck is that). But don't you think it's your fault too. It was possible for you to get a perfect score on that stinking test. I was expecting you would. You didn't, but it's okay.

Stop bawling, you pathetic overachiever-type. So what if get a lower average this quarter? You're a fucking 15 year old. Your social life is deteriorating. Where are your friends? Go out and have fun. Don't worry. You'll get into college. You are Camille Martinez. You live to do these things.

You can do chapter 2 and 14. I know you can. Your siblings can do it. So can you. You're supposed to be good at this, freak. Wipe those spirit tears of yours away. Be in your happy camel mode. Do your homework. Eat the boursin cheese in the fridge. Be strong.

Camille

When i make resolutions during New Year's eve, i break these resolutions. When they are made on any other day, i keep them.

Camille's Any Other Day resolutions

Dated 2004 December 3

1. Be a better Rama.
2. Lose weight. (Ballet exams are near)
3. Do your homework.
4. Matterload.
5. Say 'sorry'.

December 2, 2004

With the rain comes my sadness. Along with the heavy rain and strong winds, i 'm under a rain cloud. There is a downpur of emotions. Love. Anger. Sadness. Mixed with a some time to dote upon each comes a brew quite difficult to swallow. Add a a dozen spoonfuls of stress and whoo......

No school tomorrow! Damn it! Ramayana practice! Oh hell! Oh hell!

I'm dead. I'm dead.

How am i going to catch up? Make-up quizzes!

December 1, 2004

I am so stressed. It's the type of stress that doesn't allow me to perform properly. When i don't perform properly, i fail. My failure makes me depressed. Right now, i am depressed. My grades for this quarter are suckier. I haven't participated in class discussions. My work is less than satisfactory. The third quarter report card will be the cause of my early death.

Fuck Ramayana practices! Fuck it all! Can't the world see how stressed i am right now? It's not only schoolwork. There's ballet and piano lessons too.

A vast majority of my classmates pushed me into being Rama. The schmucks said i could do it. I hope now they see how bad i suck at acting. They can't blame me for not being to act well. I warned them long before i even agreed.

But it was I after all who agreed so, there's no point in blaming anyone for my sufferance.

Director, Assistant Director: I'm so sorry if i'm pissing you off. I'm so sorry if i can't do chapters 2 and 14 properly. I'm having a really difficult time.

Co-actors: Sorry if i'm affecting your acting. Sorry if my nonchalance brings you down.

Classmates: Sorry if i'm letting you down.

I'm just stressed and feeling kind of down.

WORD OF THE DAY: down

November 27, 2004

Dear Camille,

You idiot! When will you ever learn to keep your mouth shut? Your mouth has gotten you in trouble again and now you want to cry. You are in trouble with someone quite close to you. She is going to kill you when she finds out. You want to say sorry but, that won't do anything and you can't turn back time.

You should learn to keep your mouth shut. If you ever do this again, i'm going to cut your tongue out. It's what you deserve as punishment for your actions and right now i'm being quite kind.

What are you going to do whe she finds out? Are you going to say 'I'm sorry. It just slipped out"? She'll hate you. She'll want to kill you. No, you can't say that. Just tell her that you didn't know that the person didn't know her well-guarded secret (well-guarded up until now, that is). Tell her that you thought the person knew too. Say 'I'm sorry. I didn't know that she wasn't supposed to know or that you didn't tell her yet'. Say it plainly. It's the truth. It's the plain truth. You let it slip before you realized you shouldn't have. When you tell her the truth, there's nothing else to do but wait her for her response. She'll probably forgive you because that person is also a friend of hers. But, she could also put a curse on you. She'll slowly torture you physically and psychologically. She'll give a slow and painful death. You'll be really sorry.

I'm sorry that there is nothing i can do to help you. I shall pray for you. Good luck to you.

Camille

November 19, 2004/

My skills have atrophied as of late. I can't write, speak and dance as well as i used to. i don't know what's wrong with me.

Why the hell i should i be playing Rama? I don't want to be Rama anymore. I keep screwing up my lines. Plus, i need to go to my ballet and piano lessons and my CES parish involvement. Ramayana practice is like some overly fat dude that just plopped on top of my schedule. Aaaagh! Ballet exams, piano recital, CES thingy! HELP ME!!

I can't act!! Why the hell did they make me play Rama?? I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Mrs. Kupang's dancers performed again. Why is it we can never get the timing for Uyauy right? Why did we "practice" only during lunch before the Kabayao thing? Why are Mrs. Kupang's dancers always rushed and stressed?

I wore the wrong bra for the performance. Damn! Thanks to Xel for telling me. Woohoo! I'll remember to wear the right type of bra next time. Damn these bras.

I feel so stressed. Maybe i am stressed.

Yasser Arafat just passed away a couple of weeks ago. Aaw! Poor dude.

September 17, 2004

2nd:

I really hope to get the other computer fixed soon. I need to print in the comfort of my own home. Also, i would really like to use the layout i made (but of course all the files were deleted so i have to do the whole thing over).

I'm thinking that maybe there should be an SPCP Slash Society. Then, everyone will get to share all the slash they have with the less fortunate ones like me who have only 3 volumes of Gravitation (yaoi but no slash) and the 7th volume of FAKE (yaoi and slash). Also, through this society, we will be able to spread the good news (slash) and inspire more converts. Yipee! More slashy goodness for everybody. This is just a joke of course (aww).

K! Gotta go now!

CameL

1st:

Damn! I still haven't had the computer repaired. This only means doing my printing jobs elsewhere. Damn! I should tell my mom tomorrow. I'm pretty sure that even more projects will start piling up. Grr! Stupid teachers! Why do they all have to give assignments and stuff at the same time?

Damn it! Why does my batch get all the sucky new teachers?

I want Ms. Laureles/ Mrs. Ramirez again. They do the news reporting thing in her classes so her students are updated on the current event sin our country and they even get to discuss them in class. Darn it! I'm have quite a few suggestions for Ms. Magat.

I'm not learning anything this year. I've learned surprisingly little. The second quarter is almost over and i am still my passive self. What the hell is wrong with me?

Agh! Anyway, i officially declare myself as lazy, 20-50% deaf (joke) and a L000ser. Don't ask about the whole L000ser thing. It's pretty stupid.

September 10, 2004

It has been a over a year since i last updated. I was actually supposed to do a whole "rebirth" thing for this place last week on the same day i last updated this place. So why didn't i do anything last Aug 31? Because of some stupid virus infiltrating our computer. Aaaaargh!

I am currently:
depressed
angry
hungry
listening to Utada Hikaru

depressed-because of shallow reasons like being one point shy of a perfect grade in a group activity and other stuff

angry-with myself because i didn't pass the Asian History group project so now it's (hopefully)perfect grade minus one point. Grrrrrrrrr!
-with myself bcause i didn't attend ballet class (sayang ang binabayaran)

hungry-must not eat. eat later. wait for the yummy food to arrive.

listening to Utada Hikaru-she rocks!

I should add pissed off. Why pissed off? The attack of the computer virus! Many things to type. Had it (other comp) repaired. After a 5 day wait, the computer was rid of the virus (also all my documents, music files, videos, layouts, kazaa, imesh and my brother's pornography). I had problem turning on the computer. The problem lasted for 2 days. On the 3rd day, my brother was able to solve the problem. Yippe yee yay! In the afternoon, my brother said that after downloading kazaa and imesh he said something happened to the computer (again) and it has to be repaired (again). AAAAAAARGH!!!!

Damn! My writing skills are getting crappier every day.So are my speaking skills. I don't know why.

K! Must go! After we get the other computer fixed, this site will most probably worth looking at again.

Camel