Reclaim The Holker Street

11th E-Dition

World Domination

Colwyn Bay At Home - Match Off

Looking After The Li'le Uns

Plodding Along

Away to Blyth 1-1

Cartoon Caterers

Transfer Of Views

Do you support a Unibond club or a team from another league?

Which club do you support?

Do you feel that your club benefits from the current transfer system?

What is the largest transfer fee your club has received?

What is the record transfer fee your club has received?

Do you think the scrapping of the transfer system will adversely affect your club?

Have you any suggestions or thoughts on what should replace the current transfer system?

A couple of weeks ago we reported on the fallacy that all seater stadiums equated to a safe environment.   Then, we brought to your attention events at Valley Parade where rival fans fought for up to 20 minutes.   One arrested Bradford fan who attended the game with his family  was cleared only after the Bradford chairman wrote a letter to the courts on his behalf.   If you've been watching MOTD and reading the Murdoch backed Sunday Tabloids you've probably missed it, but since our report there's been crowd disturbances at Coventry (x2), Charlton, Leicester, Derby and Man City.   And now the police are threatening not to turn up at the Bradford-Liverpool game such are their concerns about the possibities of crowd control problems.   Hey, we're not reliant on Sky for our living, so we tell it like it is - and we tell ya first as well.    

And also a lot on the non-league message boards last week about inappropriate behaviour at football matches as well as Bishop auckland's well documented problems in their Trophy tie with Burton.   Having attended soccer games at all levels for the past 30 years, I am fortunate enough not to have been arrested at a game.   However, it does happen.   And believe it or not, it can happen to the wrong person now and again.   And with Barrow fans having staged peaceful demos at games early last season, and Runcorn fans planning to do the same next month, we thought it might be worth giving a little bit of advice should you ever find yourself caught out, and having your collar felt for something you didn't do.  

Sooooooo, what should you do if arrested  at a footie game?

If you are arrested keep calm and do not panic.   Remember that you have the right to be treated fairly and with respect by the police.   If you are arrested you do not have to say anything to the police.   BUT if you are later charged with a crime and you have not mentioned, when questioned, something that you later rely on in court, then this may be taken into account when deciding if you are guilty.   There may be times when if you give an innocent explanation for what you have done, the police may leave you alone, and there maybe times when this doesn't happen though.   It is wise not to discuss the case with the police until you have consulted privately with a solicitor.   If the police are about to arrest you or have already arrested you, there is no such thing as a 'friendly chat' to sort things out. Anything you say can later be used against you. Think before you talk.

Police can often get the wrong person in the heat of the moment especially where there are big crowds present - you'll probably be okay at Frickley or Gateshead then -, so it is important that you get witnesses to your arrest.   If you are arrested in a crowd, keep calm, and shout out your name so people can know who it is being arrested.   If you witness an arrest, try to write down the name of the arrested person and where they were arrested. Write down the number of the arresting officer(s).

If you are thrown out of a football ground unfairly without arrest, insist on talking to a senior officer to state your case, or go to the local station to lodge a formal complaint. If you didn't get the arresting officers number, ask to be escorted back into the ground to identify him. It's not uncommon for the police to quietly let you back in if they know you are serious about making a complaint.

A common trick police employ is to badger you into accepting a caution so that you can catch your last train home. Do not accept this under any circumstances if you have done nothing wrong.

We hope it never happens to ya, but forewarned is forearmed.   For more on the above visit

and follow the footie links, we lifted most of this stuff from their site.

Nah, we're not boasting about the number of hits that last week's edition of Reclaim The Holker Street got.   This week it was announced that those hard up neighbours of Alty had signed, sealed and delivered a deal with the New York Yankees so that these two clubs could seek to extricate themselves from financial problems by pooling resources and  hopefully put both of the clubs on a sounder footing for next season.   As it is, United are currently struggling to raise the paltry £20 million to pay for Ruud Van Hire, so this deal might just save them.

The Man United Independent Supporters Association are hoping that this will mean cheaper prices at the computerised turnstiles.   But what's it gotta do with them?   If they ate more prawn sarnies and actually put some wealth into the club, then they might have a say, but as it is, those that matter are the T.V. viewers who buy the dishes and those in faraway countries who queue at the Megastore checkouts for the vary latest replica shirts, - which have been known to be changed whilst wannabees are still in the queue.   It is only a small proportion of Man Utd's income that comes from fans paying to watch the games.

And this deal means that fans in America can buy the latest Ushited video - Beyond The Promised Land - no pretensions of grandeur there then.   All over America mini-Keanos will be able to turn on, tune in, and veg out as they watch Becks having his hair cut, to see sponsors workshops where club partners are given help with brand development (huh?!? - Ed), and how entertaining it is to watch Martin Edwards enthuse, - and almost drool - over the number of fans the team has in China, as he says "We must open retail stores to capture this enthusiasm."   And with a straight face at that.

It's not that we begrudge Man United their fair share of the pie, it's just that they're taking it all.   This deal is subject to scrutiny by the Monopolies Board, but we don't hold out much hope of it not going through.   And where's that gonna leave clubs like Barrow, or whichever non-league club you support?  

We don't know for sure, but the probability is that we'll have an even smaller slice of the pie when it's done and dusted.   And we'll probably be fighting it out with other non-league clubs for the crumbs that Man Utd et al are prepared to let us have.   More aggressive marketing like this is gonna lead to more youngsters from the Furness area pleading with their dads to take them down to Old Trafford, and Barrow are gonna find it even harder to get the crowds in and make ends meet.

Obviously, we'll take everything that we've said back if Sir Alex (incidentally, almost an anagram of Sexy Liar) brings his boys to Furness instead of Tokyo for a pre-season friendly.

New From Sonny@ Plc.

If home entertainment is your thing, then you might wanna try the latest offering from Sonny@ Plc.   They have just released their latest hi-tech non-interactive game - Armchair Manager.   And it's a classic.   After months of testing amongst cynics the world over, it's now been unleashed on the unsuspecting public.   And after viewing a prototype, we've gotta say that it's crap.

It is fairly cheap though, and the rules are fairly straightforward, but that doesn't mean that we'd recommend it to anyone at all.   To purchase this game, all ya need to do is hand six quid over at the turnstiles on a Saturday afternoon at 3 o'clock, after arriving at Holker Street with the same expectations as those who fork out forty or fifty notes at Cold Dafford.   Then, when things don't go exactly as you expect them, you start to manage the team yourself.  

Only, instead of doing it in the real world, you're able to do it from the comfort of your armchair, with no regard for financial considerations at all.

St. Helens 22 WIGAN 8

Nah, we didn't go.   But due to Barrow's postponement we did catch the end of this game on grandstand or whatever its called these days.   And in the bit that we did see we noticed the trainer/physio/magic sponge carrier treating players as the game went on.  

What a bloody good idea.

Cuts out a lot of time-wasting.   Removes the inconsistencies of one ref adding eight minutes on as last week at Bish, and others only adding a couple like in the game against Runcorn.   Ah, but.........I can hear ya now.........what if the injury's in the six yard box and likely to get in the way of play.   Welllllllllll, if you remember the Stalybridge game, their defender - Filson - was pretty quick to get up and head it away when he was down injured in his own area and the ball suddenly came his way.   If play carried on, defenders playing forwards onside would think more than twice about feigning injury.   And strikers might just wanna get on with the action more if they knew the game wasn't gonna stop whilst they got treatment.  

One negative that we can see is that a player subjected to a foul might be outta the game whilst getting treatment, giving a numerical advantage to the side committing the foul.   But that happens as it is.   Don't you find it infuriating when your striker is hacked down, and is then ordered off the pitch to receive treatment.   Thus leaving you with your best chance of scoring from the free kick on the touchline, and

Problems with the brakes on the Barrowmobile meant that we wouldn't have got to this one anyway.   Should be able to get to the rearranged game though, so all is not lost.   Though I guess that such a late postponement does cost the club in that outlay has already been shelled out, and there was no money coming in through the turnstiles.

A shame for travelling Barrow & Bay fans, but apparently a late deluge meant that there was nothing that could be done.   Calls on the Unibond message board for Barrow and/or the referee to be fined because of this are quite laughable really.   Especially from someone who never left their armchair in North Wales all day. - Because of the weather?

There are thousands of profiles of ex-players listed on this game to make it even easier for you.   And none of the players have aged a day since they last played at Holker Street.   So for example, you can sign Neil Morton, who remains 28 forever.   As it is a couple of years since he left Holker Street, the memory of his suspect temperament is conveniently forgotten in Armchair Manager.   And when you sign him, he will never have an off day, so that will leave your team vying for promotion instantly, and you can relax safe in the knowledge that players will never underperform in your team, nor will they play carrying knocks.

And they won't have to take a 10 per cent pay cut to show their commitment either.   After all, it is already over two years since the club went into liquidation.   This is ancient history and there is no legacy hanging over your fantasy team from this.   You can pay whatever wages you want.

Another added advantage of Armchair Manager is that whichever player you wish to sign is always instantly available.   No matter what contract he is on, where he lives in the country, or if he has lost form for the past six months.   As soon as you get on your mobile, he's dashing along the A590, ready, willing, and performing at his peak for you.

And bookings are a thing of the past in Armchair Manager, so that's bloody handy as well.   The players that you sign are so good that they never have to commit a foul, answer back, or lose their heads when results go badly - because don't forget you never lose in Armchair Manager.   When you're the manager yellow and red cards are a thing of the past so you don't have to deal with suspensions in the run up to important games.   And injuries?!?   Wharra they?   Your players are so tough, they just don't pick 'em up at all.

Guide Barrow straight up to the third in Armchair Manager - with a detour to Cardiff thrown in along the way.   And no need to look up the definition of supporter in the dictionary before you buy it.   It's just like the real thing.

Only it isn't, is it.

all because he had the front to get taken from behind whilst shaping up to shoot.

Ah but............ if you've got an ah but then get in touch by clicking on the ball on the right.   Because we can't see many, but we can see a few plusses.   We usually defend referees - everyone gets decisions wrong now and again, but it is the inconsistencies that really bug us, and changing this rule will remove some of that and make the referees job a little easier as well

If you're a regular reader, then you're probably used to us rattling on about the transfer system, and about how we think that the present system should be scrapped and replaced with a fairer system for redistributing the immense wealth in the game.   Something along the lines of everyone paying a percentage of theier wage bills into a central pot, and this being dished out fairly to ALL clubs - this would suit us fine.   If you're new to Reclaim The Holker Street then We bet you're amazed to discover what you've been missing out on all these weeks ( yeah, right - Ed) and you might wanna have a look at  

or

or even

That should give you a

balanced view on the matter.

Anyway, this week is supposed to be decision day regarding the transfer system and what replaces the current system.   And we thought it'd be cool to ask you for your views (and we've just learned how to do forms in this software package).   Sooooooooo, here goes.    What d'ya think of the transfer system............?

Just beware that if you use the reset button, you're gonna reset the whole form and not just that last text area bit.

Alty Are Back

No, according this posting on the Alty website the reason for all this rearranged fixtures is.................. "All fixtures just seem to be done so Alty don't get big attendances !"   Whahey.   So just remember that the next time the floodlights fail at Winsford.   It's not because they haven't put fifty pence in the meter, it's done so Alty don't get a big crowd.   And if that is the case, well maybe those fuel protestors aren't so bad after all.

So, Alty making up ground on the leaders again in the Sore Losers league.  
And if there's anyone you wanna nominate then click here

After weeks of accepting defeat gracefully and not disputing an offside decision, Alty are back.   After slipping out of the top three, alty are putting in another spurt in their quest to win the Sore Losers league.

Apparently the horrendous list of rearranged fixtures everyone is having to put up with is nothing to do with the bad weather.   It's got naff all to do with flooded pitches either.   And the fuel protests that crippled the country don't even enter into it.   And frozen pitches in February?   Wellll, that's a pi$$ poor excuse for rearranging fixtures if ever Alty heard one.

Hayes at Home 0-1

On this Day

Well we ain't gone back too far, - 1999 - but we thought this game was worth having a look at to see how much things have changed over the last two years.   In the programmes when they do a that was the day that was you normally get a match report.   We're gonna do it different though.   One reason being that we can't honestly remember if we were at this game or not.

Even if we weren't at the game, we can tell ya how it pretty much went.   Barrow defended resolutely against a better footballing team.   Barrow didn't create many chances, but did put the opposition under pressure by playing the long ball game.   They constantly hoofed the ball up the middle, and any throw inside Barrow's half went towards the corner flag, and the resultant throw or corner went high and proud into the area.

Not knocking it.   It wasn't pretty, but Shane Westley didn't have any money to work with, players were leaving in droves, and he was brought in to keep us up.   And he did keep us out of the bottom three.   So you've gotta say he was successful.   But pretty it wasn't.  
Barrow's defence was organised and solid.   In a game round about this time at the Drill Field, Northwich took the lead in the first minute, and the Barrow fans started up a chant of  "You'll only beat us 1-0" - and that about summed performances up, only the 1-0 defeats were punctuated with heroics at Stevenage and Kidderminster that gave us all a bit of good heart and cheer for a while.

Anyway, back at Hayes - it was Holker Street actually, but that didn't scan - three players were making their debuts, - Gary Lewis, Andy Hayward and Brian Southworth.    And three players were making their last ever appearances for Barrow, Paul Jones, Kevin Sandwith and Brian Southworth.

The long ball style employed by Shane Westley didn't curry favour with all of the locals around Hindpool.

So what's changed in two years?   Welllllll, the football's more entertaining.   Whilst it may be subjective as to whether Shane Westley was a success or not, the fact that the football was dire to watch certainly isn't in doubt.   And this season we have seen some of the most entertaining games at Holker Street for close to a decade.   Think we're kidding? - wharra bout that Friday night game against Bamber Bridge, and the games agianst Droylsden, Accy Stanley and Alty.   The main difference now though is that we're building for a future.  

At the time of the Hayes game, the board were probably having to run the club on an hour to hour basis as much as a match to match basis.   There is some kind of foundation there now - we're not saying we're out of the woods yet, maybe just past the part where all those bears do their shitting though - and that foundation can be built upon.  

1-1 away from home.   Not a bad night's work.   Quite a few locals playing - Andy Hill, Mike McKechnie, Stephen Gill and Gareth Jones, and another on the bench.   Jack Charlton in the crowd.   £1.38 a pint.   Almost a perfect evening.   If only Nicky Peverill's lob hadn't hit the bar.   If only Gareth Jones hadn't had what looked like a good goal disallowed.   But in truth, Barrow did well to get a draw.   With so many first teamers out it was as good a result as the travelling fans - about 20 or so - could have expected.

And if you think the Popular Side has its fair share of moaners, then you wanna get yourself along to Blyth.   There were times when I almost felt sorry for the opposition, given the amount of stick some of the Blyth players were getting.   In the first half it seemed like a few Blyth SmartUns had gathered near their goal area with the sole intention of telling their keeper how crap he really was - and he wasn't that bad.   And woe betide any player who had the nerve to try his luck and shoot without scoring.   There's nothing like getting behind your team………and this was nothing like that at all (boom boom)

And the referee.   Christ, he copped a lot as well.   And this from a team that got a penalty and then saw the opposition have a goal disallowed.   And Kenny Lowe - welllllll, it must have really hurt him when someone shouted - there weren't enough there to warrant it being called a chant - "Birmingham reject".   I wish someone would insult me like that.

Anyway, another goal and more spondoolies in our Give it a Lash for the Cash incentive scheme.   One goal means three more quid.   And just like last week when we were bringing you breaking news of someone else getting on board with our scheme, we're doing the same this week.   And we were asking for unusual ideas, it doesn't have to be cash for goals.   We were encouraging fans recently to donate for every penalty given away, and that would have meant a bigger bumper cash crop than a lot of third world economies in December and it was followed up again last night just before half time when Blyth got their opener from the spot, or as near to it as the mud in the goalmouth would allow.

Anywayyyyyyy, back to it, and we've got a new sponsor.   I know they didn't do it just to get a link for their website, but we're giving 'em (is that a clue - Ed) one whatever.   Yes, it's Give Em Beans.   And they've come up with an unusual one - surprise, surprise.   For every game where Barrow score first and get a draw, they're donating £2.50.   And they're doubling that if Barrow cause a bulge in the onion bag before Opposition F.C. and then go on to lose the game.   This could get wild in the last ten minutes with the Barrow strikers going for more cash by homing in on Bish - the player not the club -
And we feel we need to ask whether those who sponsored Darren Roberts with cash for goals are gonna include own goals.

And you too can get involved with Give it a Lash for the Cash by sponsoring the team - or if you're a Leek or Alty fan, That Other Lot F.C. for a quid or whatever for each goal they score.   You can even pretend your club is in Europe and make it double for away goals.   And no-one as yet has taken us up on our offer of sponsoring local goals, and given last night's team selection that could bring in a few notes.   Or what about the Beverley HillBulli option of sponsoring two players for the goals they score.   If we'd included lookalikes in that one, you could've had Nathan - Jethro - Peel (cheers, for that one, Phil) up 'til a couple of weeks ago.

Sooooooo, if you're up for it just give the ball up and to the right the faintest of touches and you can join us in Giving it a Lash for the Cash.

See ya Sat'day.