NOTE: This was taken from an article written by Ed Anger in the "The Weekly World News" (a tongue in cheek tabloid like "The National Enquirer"). Though my soap box ain't as big as Ed's, his head is in the right place.

How to settle this Confederate Flag flap....once and for all!
LET'S FIGHT THE CIVIL WAR ALL OVER AGAIN!

By: Ed Anger

�������I'm madder than Robert E. Lee at a New York Yankees game over the outcry to ban the Confederate Flag!
�������The American Communist Party wants to make it illegal to sell, display or fly the Dixie colors anywhere in this great land--which kind of figures, now don't it friends?
�������But even worse, the turncoat govenor of South Carolina is trying to stop the Southern battle banner from flying over his state.
����� �Gov. David Besley, rumored to be the great-great-grandson of a Yankee spy who lived in Charleston, is heading up a sneaky plot to furl the Stars and Bars forever just because it upsets all those yuppie Yankee carpetbaggers who've invaded the South in the last few years.
�������Well they'll banish our beloved Confederate Flag over my dead body, by God.
�������In fact, I'm firmly convinced that we ought to fight the Civil War one more time just to settle this thing once and for all. We could divide up the states exactly as they were when the first war was called a draw at Appamattox Corthouse back in 1865.
�������We'll have all the armies return to exactly where they were on that fateful April afternoon--and then we'll get it on!
�������When the smoke clears this time, the United States will fly one flag or the other--either Old Glory or the Stars and Bars. And if, like last time. there is no clear winner, we'll go to Sudden Death just like in the National Football League.
�������Hell, we could even enlist Gen. Colin Powell to take over the role of Rebel kingpin Robert E. Lee and draft Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf to play Yankee boss Ulysses S. Grant.
�������My dear mother used to tell me how my great-granddaddy died with Gen. George Pickett during the great Rebel charge at Gettysburg. And Dad, whose ancestors fought bravely for the North, told me about how a whole division of Yankee soldiers once saluted a dead Reb who was still holding the Stars and Bars off the ground--with 145 bullet holes in his body and both legs blown off.
�������The Confederate Flag is as dear to America's heart as Old Glory, by jiminey.
�������Descendants of those brave Southern boys who died on the battlefields of Bull Run, Five Forks and Antietam were the heroes of Argonne Forest in '17, Iwo Jima in 1945 and in Korea in the winter of '51.
������ Just ask the soldiers like me who fought with them.
�������And I'm getting madder than hell just thinking about this sniveling, yellow-bellied coward of govenor who wants to destroy this symbol of American courage.
�������So, my fellow Americans, the next time you hear Dixie playing, stand up and give a snappy Ed Anger salute--to the boys who died under both flags.

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