Fighting evil by moonlight,
Winning love by daylight,
Never running from a real fight,
She is the one called Sailor Moon.
Heero: (looking around) Now where are we?
Duo: And you called me the idiot.
Serena: (from underneath the Trowa) Get . . . off.
Duo: (to Trowa) Is your ass talking!?
Trowa: (glares) . . . . . . . . (T: no translation)
Duo: (feels something underneath him) Whoa!
Quatre: Can't . . .breathe.
Trowa: . . . . .? (T: Is your ass talking?)
Duo: Shut up.
Other Sailor Scouts: (running up to Gboys, looking for Serena) Serena, where are you?
Serena: Get . . .OFF!
Duo: (points to Reni's hair) Whoa! It looks like cotton candy!
Quatre and Serena: (throws other Gboys off of them)
Lita: What happened here?
Heero: (stumbling around) Huh? (falls on his ass)
Rei: Who are you?
Duo: Let's see . . . That's the third time we've been asked that, today.
Quatre: (quickly introduces everyone and explains their predicament)
Serena: (finally recovered) Wow! Wait until Darian hears about this!
Wufei: (cowerong near a garbage can) . . .girls . . . everywhere
Mina: What's wrong with him? (points to Wufei) Is he alright?
Quatre: (scratches his head) I think so. Ever since that pikachu electrocuted him, he's been acting very strange.
Serena: Let's go to my house and EAT! . . . I mean . . . discuss things further!
Heero: (to Rei) Is she bulimic?
Rei: Nobody knows.
***
Everyone: (in Serena's room)
Mina: So, what are we going to do about this portal problem? Are we going to run around all over the place, opening doors and windows, until we find one, or are we just going to wait around until one appears?
Luna: Yes, we need to decide on a plan of action. We need to figure out what is causing all of this in the first place.
Gboys: O_o IT TALKS!
Artemis: Yeah, so?
Gboys: o_O TALKING CATS!! Augh! (all start running towards bedroom door)
Reni: (sees a flash of purple light under the door) Is that a portal?
Voice: HHEEEERROO!!
Gboys: O_O (run back in bedroom and barricade the door shut with furniture)
Heero: (on his knees) WHY!? WHY ME!? WHY NOT QUATRE, HE'S THE PACIFIST!!
Quatre: Heero, take care of your own problems. I've got some of my own.
Reni: (dressing Quatre's hair up like hers)
Quatre: Stop that, you creepy little monkey!
Reni: (pouting)
Voice/Relena: HEERO, WHERE ARE YOU? (beats on the door)
*BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*
Serena: (snickers) He's in here!
Heero: (turns a paler shade of white) Why'd you do that? Do you know what she'll DO if she gets in here?
Duo: Yeah, meatball-head, why'd you do that?
Serena: (turns red) Don't you dare call me that, you . . . BRAIDED BAKA! No one but Darian calls me that. (eats a rice cake)
Relena: Let me in! (door barricade shudders)
Wufei: (frolicking in a Sailor Scouts' uniform) Hee, hee, hee, I'm pretty, now!
Everyone: >_<
Heero: We really need to find out what's wrong with him.
Quatre: Yeah, he's even starting to freak me out.
Trowa: . . . . . . . . . . . (T: He's just a fucking weirdo, get used to it.)
Rei: (knocks Wufei out with one of her heels) That takes care of THAT problem!
Relena: (barges through the door) Heero, I'm here for you! (runs at him)
Heero: (cowering under the bed)
Relena: (a rose stabs her through the hand) Ow! That really hurts!
Darian/Tuxedo Mask: Why are you terrorizing these poor people, you ghoulish fiend? Back, evil hell spawn!
Relena: Waaah! Don't call me names! I'm the Queen of the World; I can do whatever I want.
Heero: (panicking and jumping out the nearest window)
Duo: (yelling out the window after him) You have GOT to find a better way to kill yourself!
Heero: (putting bones back in place) *crack*
Duo: (cringing and biting his braid to keep from screaming)
Relena: (finished picking the thorns out of her hand) I'm coming for you, Heero! (jumps out of the window using her poofy Queen of the Know Universe of Man dress as a parachute)
Heero: Oh . . . my . . . God! She's not wearing any underwear! My eyes! My eyes!
Duo: He'll be scarred for life.
Serena: We've got to do something!
Other Sailor Scouts: Right!
Serena: Super Duper Mega Kick-ass Moon POWER!
Luna: Oh, no! Not again!
Artemis: Remember what happened last time she tried that?
Luna: All too painfully.
Quatre: What happened?
Artemis: (to Luna) Should we tell him?
Luna: Be my guest.
Artemis: Okay, she ended up in the middle of Saudi Arabia, painted orage, and wearing nothingbut a pair of bunny ears.
Quatre: How . . . bizarre.
Luna: You're telling me!
Artemis: Makes youw onder what she was thinking about, doesn't it?
Quatre: Did anyone see her?
Artemis: You have no idea.
Luna: She ended up in the middle of Mecca.
Quatre: O_O What did they do!?
Atremis: Can you say "jihad?"
Sailor Scouts: (all wearing animal costumes) We are the Sailor Scouts, Champions of Justice. On behalf of the Moon, we will punish you!
Heero: (rolling around on the ground laughing his ass off) You look more retarded than she does! (points to Relena)
Serena: (in a cow suit) Hey, we're helping you out!
Rei: (dressed as a pig) Yeah, how 'bout a little gratitude, huh?
Duo: (jumps out of the window using the "energy helicopter thingy") Why do I alway have to save your ass?
Heero: (dodging pointy roses) Stop talking for once, Duo, and get me out of here!
Duo: *devilish grin* Whaddaya give me?
Heero: (ducks for cover) Nothing!
Duo: (whistling)
Heero: Okay, coffee! Lots of instant coffe and all the computer games you want!
Duo: Now you're talkin'! (picks Heero up and puts him on the roof)
Relena: Stop! Stop it! Stop FIGHTING! Heero, make them stop!
Reni: (dressed as a gorilla) Sparkly Minimoondust Magic Unicornpop! (beats Relena senseless)
Wufei: (downstairs eating Lita's Poptarts)
Mina: (in an eel suit, talking to Darian/Tuxedo Mask) Whose side are you on!?
Darian/Tuxedo Mask: (puts a rose up her nose)
Amy: (dresses as a skunk and contemplating the situation and devising a plan of action in the corner with Trowa) So, you think that the electric charge from Pikachu's attack reversed the polarity of Wufei's behavior?
Trowa: . . . . . . . . . . (T: Yes, but I don't know how to change it back.)
Amy: But, if we can change it back again, he'll be his own self again, right? Wait a minute, are you sure that's a good thing?
Trowa: . . . . . . . . . (T: He'll be better than the way he is now.)
Amy: True. (thinks for a moment) Hey, I've got an idea. (walks over to Lita) Um, Lita? Aren't those your Poptarts Wufei is eating?
Lita: (in a bear suit) What?! I'll kick his ass so hard, he'll be talking through his asshole from now on!!
Trowa: *snicker* . . . . (T: He already was.)
Lita: (stomps off to the kitchen)
Trowa: . . . . . . . . ? (T: What is she going do to him?)
Amy: Jupiter Supreme Thunder.
Trowa: . (T: Oh.)
Wufei: (sees Lita) Eeep!! (drops Poptarts)
Lita: Come here, you Poptart eating little shit!!
Wufei: (attempting to hide behind the toaster)
Lita: Jupiter Thunder Thingy!!
Wufei: (a crispy-fried critter)
Amy: (to Trowa) Did it work?
Trowa: . . . . (T: Let's wait and see.)
Wufei: (disappears to Serena's room in a neon pink flash of light)
Amy and Trowa: *eyebrow + sweatdrop*
Wufei: (dressed in a really old Sailor Moon uniform) I am SAILOR CHANG, Champion of Justice. On behalf of Nataku, I will punish you!
Quatre: Punish who?!
Wufei: (points at Quatre) You! (chases him around the room with the Luna Pen, dressing him as various strange people)
Quatre: (dressed as a chef)
Amy: (to Trowa) Um, I don't think it worked.
Quatre: (in a bunny suit)
Trowa: . . . . .
Quatre: (dressed as Santa Claus)
Amy: Lita. Wufei said you hit like a wussy!
Quatre: (dressed as Britney Spears)
Lita: Grr. I will kill him!! MEGA JUPITER SUPER DUPER THUNDER!!!!!
Wufei: *zap!* INJUSTICE!!
Heero: (listening to the riot in the bedroom and talking to Duo) What in the HELL is going on down there?!
Duo: (playing with pigeons) Coo! Coo!
Heero: Duo, You MORON!! I'm getting outta here!
Duo: Coo! Coo!
Quatre: (to Trowa and Amy) It looks like Wufei is back to normal. (dressed as a flight attendant)
Wufei: (on the roof chasing the pigeons with his kitana) INJUSTICE!! (cut pigeon's tail off)
Pigeon: Coo!
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!
Pigeon: Coo! Coo! Coo!
Wufei: INJUSTICE! INJUSTICE! INJUSTICE!
Mina: SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Everyone: (freezes)
Serena: (surgically attaching herself to Darian/Tuxedo Mask's leg) I love you, Darian! I love youuuuuu!!!
Darian/Tuxedo Mask: . . . . . Get off of me.
Serena: *tears*
Relena: (chasing Heero around on the roof, trying to attach herself to him) Marry me, Heero!
Heero: Augh! (shoots at her- misses and hits a pigeon)
Relena: (falls off the roof and lands next to Serena)
Serena: (hugs Relena and they cry together)
** Author's Note **
No, I don't like either Serena, nor Relena. They both bug the shit out of me. Continue.
Duo: (strangling Wufei with his braid for killing pigeons) Injustice? I'll show you injustice!
Wufei: *gasp* In . . . jus . . . tice.
Duo: Grr.
Mina: (to Rei) Why doesn't anyone listen to me? I mean, everyone stopped for a minute, but . .
Rei: It's because you don't have the "attitude." EVERYBODY, STOP!
Everyone: (keeps doing whatever it was that they were doing)
Rei: >_< STOP, NOW!
Everyone: (keeps going)
Mina: What attitude?
Rei: *vein pop* (systematically beats everyone upside their head with one of her heels)
Everyone: (stunned)
Rei: (to Mina) Now, what was it that you wanted to say?
Mina: x_x I said I wanted to get their attention, not kill them.
Rei: Grr. (brandishes her heel)
Mina: If everyone can't get along, why don't you just split up?
Gboys: (all trying to kill one another)
Quarte: Wait a minute, she's right! We've spent all this time pointing fingers and fighting each other, and we haven't even tried to solve the problem that got us here in the first place!
Trowa: (glares)
Heero: Yeah, we really need to get away from each other. Even TROWA is staring to bother me!
Trowa: (glares again)
Rei: (eating Midol like candy)
Everyone else: THANK GOD!!
Rei: *vein pop*What is THAT supposed to mean?!
Artemis: Here we go again. This is what happened last month.
Heero: That's it, I'm leaving.
Wufei: I'm coming, too.
Heero: No, you're not.
Wufei: Yes, I am.
Heero: NO, you're not.
Wufei: YES, I AM!
Heero: NO!
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!
Heero: Okay, what's the first thing you think of when I say . . . woman?
Wufei: Weak.
Heero: No, you're not coming with me. (walks away)
Wufei: INJUSTICE!! (portal opens and sucks both of them in)
Heero: (voice fading awayinto nothing) GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!
*SPLASH!*
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!!!!
Duo: Holy shit, that was bitchin'! Way rad!
Everyone else: ? =_= ?
Duo: ^_^
Everyone else: *sweatdrop+vein pop* >_<
Duo: That's it! I'm gettin' outta here, too! Quatre, you're not depressing and angry. You wanna come with me?
Quatre: (looks around) Umm . . . sure.
Duo and Quatre: (start walking away)
Quatre: Wait, I need to change. (points at his stewardess outfit)
Duo: (looks at skirt) *snort* Uhh . . . yeah. I'll wait.
Quatre: (finds Luna Pen and goes into the bathroom) Now, how do you work this thing? Let's see . . .Ow! Auggh! Waah!
* 1 Hour Later*
Duo: Jesus, what is he doing in there?! We don't have time for that!! (knocks on door no one answers) Alright . . . I'm opening the door. (covers his eyes with his free arm) I'm goin' in! (opens the door and falls through an open portal)