-May 24- New layout. Finally. Also, added one new link button, added a few more songs, updated the about me page and I guess that`s about it.

-January 23- Added two new reads. Also updated the About Me page.
You know what`s funny? You think that you`re the only person who frequently suffers from unrequited love, but then you take a good look around. Nicolle and Noelia have rocker friends from 10th grade and this guy named Jan Pol (sp?) is in love with this girl Khiali (sp? again) so what happens, Khiali has a boyfriend which has been with her on and off I think I heard her tell Noelia once. Now, I hold toward this girl a lot of envy. Why? Because she is totally cool, everybody likes her, guys think she`s hot, she`s way more sociable than I ever will be, she`s fun, a little bit girly if you ask me, but this is the kind of girl that can get any guy she wants and has this way of being that no one question. Like, they question how I dress, how I look like, what music I listen to, but not her and she`s into metal too. Ok, now, Jan Pol, I don`t know him that well, but it`s so obvious that he worships the ground she walks on. Even though they`re good friends and Jan Pol, at least to me, is totally hot, Khiali doesn`t even comes close to think of him as more than than a friend. I talked like once or twice to Jan Pol and he is such a great guy that the whole thing makes me pity Jan Pol and hate Khiali for having a boyfriend. I`m not exactly sure why I feel like that, I could be developing a crush on him, but then again not so much. I mean, I`m not wishing he`d stop noticing Khiali so he`d notice me, I would just like to see him happy. I know he might not even remember my name, but we actually got along quite well the 2 times we talked, even Noelia noticed we had some chemistry, but he`s still stuck on Khiali and I honestly don`t want to fall into a crush. It only brings heartache and false hope. Meeting that group of friends from 10th really makes me see what I always knew was real, but hadn`t really known outside my little life: everyone and anyone feels heartache, loneliness, unrequited feelings, love, and everyone has problems. Jan Pol, according to Noelia, once tried to take his life away by jumping from a balcony, but he was stopped on time. Which makes me wonder what his home life is like. Then there is this guy who is gay which name I don`t remember right now who has a boyfriend who lives in the US. I dunno if this is true or not, but Noelia once told me that either Jan Pol or him had told her that once in a party the guy I think was drunk and was feeling lonely and depressed that Jan Pol took pity on him and actually kissed him. They`re all good friends and just things like that make me question my friendship with Nicolle and Noelia. They both, even though they`ll never ever admit it, think I am ugly. They treat me just fine, but it`s just the little things that piss me off. Like, Nicolle and Noelia are more close with each other that they are to me and it pisses me off that Noelia acts like it and is such a dumbass to try to exclude me from some stuff in front of my face. Nicolle`s cool, everything she says to Noelia in front of me, she lets me hear it. Anyhoo, Noelia has a best friend that lives in her neighborhood called Rosin who says that she and Noelia are like sisters and of course, Rosin is beautiful, and is just another Khiali. Well, once while we were talking about bisexuality, Noelia told me that she and Rosin had made out a couple of times and Noelia also told me that Nicolle had once kissed a chick friend of hers. And I actually asked Noelia seriously if she`d even considered kissing me and she said a serious no. Which makes me feel more alone the fact that I don`t have close enough friends that`d even consider kissing me. Do I have booger written all over me? What exactly makes me so undesirable. I know that Nicolle and Noelia love me as their close, but not close like that friend. I wish I could be hot. But I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder and for us gorditas, we just have to search deeper. There was this guy from a Denny`s in San Francisco who had a thing for me. He even blushed every time I ordered something. But that has been the only time. I`m not even that fat, but when you`re fat and a goth chick, looking hot is a huge challenge. Of course I always have the chance to change track and act like everybody else, but I don`t because it`s just not me and I`d have let myself down. Teen rebellion is hard as hell, but I`ll be persistent at it even if it kills me. At some times it may collide with my friendships because it already has before, I mean, Noelia doesn`t understand me. I just lead a lonely life, a real lonesome life. I mean, I have never kissed a guy and I`m just dying to find a guy who I like and who likes me back just for me. But like I tell myself, there`ll be enough time for that later. No use worrying about that now. But that doesn`t take the pain away though.

-December 29- Hey hey. Added some fanlistings to the index.

-August 27- Grand opening of Rebellion 21, my personal site. My name`s Geenah and I hope you enjoy my personal site, I had a really good time creating it. I should really tell you a little bit about my life and about me so you have at least some sense of all of this. I`m 14 years old, I`m Puertorrican born and raised. I am a little bit chubby. I`m a rocker chick (that means I`m punk, gothic, and all you can think of) I`m NOT satanic or athesist, I believe in god. My favorite bands are: Linkin Park, Evanescence, Story of the Year, Three Days Grace, Korn, and Slipknot. I have two best friends: Nicolle and Noelia. Nicolle is a bit wierd, I will admit she`s a kind of a nut. She`s a little bit clueless and a little bit immature, but she`s a great person and she`s my the closest I`ve ever had to a best friend. Noelia is wierder than Nicolle, she was adopted, between you and me, I think she`s a bit of a rocker wannabe, she thinks that if someone has like one of those pyramid bracelets or belts, then that person is a rocker or trying to pose as one, I`ve tried to tell her that non-rockers use them as accessories just so the outfit will look good (people like Alicia Keys which she once saw in a magazine wearing one and started critizicing her). She`s like yelling stuff and being real embarassing at school, but when she`s at home or talking on the phone she acts all sad about nothing or about really stupid stuff. She can be pretty immature and idiotic and she thinks she`s got "street smarts" like I call `em. She (claims) lost her virginity when she was about 12 to her ex. She can be a pretty pathetic person. I have another friend called Michelle, but she and I have more of a hypocritical relationship than anything else. See, I`ve been into rock since we met (about three years ago in 7th grade) , but I really started dressing like a rocker the second semester of 8th grade and she`s had a kind of problem with me ever since. She doesn`t say anything about it, but if we argue she makes if mega obvious, but it`s cool b/c I have a problem with her too. I have a problem with her looking down at me and sucking up to the most plastic, boy crazy girls in our class and the fact that she blows me off if she has someone else to hang out with, but you know what? I don`t hang out with her if she doesn`t have anyone else to hang out with. Mom thinks it`s a shame we`re having this silent war between us, she liked Michelle even more than she liked Nicolle and Noelia. Which brings me to the subject of my mom: mom is one of a kind. She is my best friend, I don`t tell her everything that goes on in my life, but I tell her the stuff that she can handle and won`t get her mad at me. She`s an accountant and she hates the company she works for and is currently looking for work elsewhere. My mom is real cool, but real organized at the same time. She can sometimes get on my nerves, but I appreciate her b/c she respects my style and even though she says she doesn`t like either a spike collar of mine or my music, she respects what I like and doesn`t put restrictions on me like Noelia`s mom puts on her. My parents are divorced since I was about six months old. My dad`s personality is really not important so I won`t write about it. He`s not a bad father or anything, it`s just that he`s not a huge part of my life and I`ll hardly mention him. I have a brother called Jose aka: Joshie. There really isn`t much you can say about Joshie, I mean, there really is anything. See, my brother has mental retardation so there really isn`t much to say about him except that he`s 20 years old and that sometimes I love him and sometimes I hate him and you might think it`s cruel to hate him, but I have my reasons which I will be posting in the future about but not today. I also have to mention my grandparents since they take care of us when I come home from school: Grandma (Luz) and Grandpa (Elo). I`ll describe my grandfather first since my grandma is a bit complicated. Grandpa aka: Elo is the nicest man you`ll meet in your life, he loves his wife and the rest of his family, he can be underappreciated at times (mostly by my grandmother), he likes the Discovery Channel, he`ll always take the side of his wife if she`s fighting with me or my mom. I think that`s about it with my grandfather. My grandmother aka: Luz literally thinks that she is perfection, she never admits she`s wrong even when we prove she was mistaken, she sews and sells dresses for money, she gets on my mom and my own last nerve, she always criticises my chubbiness, she always takes away the TV control from my hand, she doesn`t think we`re greatful enough to her, she uses everything I say against my mom, she thinks too highly of herself, she lives on what people think of her, she`s a diabetic so she buys EVERYTHING fat free and has tried to fool me with Splenda in my coffee instead of real sugar lots of times, but I could always tell b/c it didn`t taste like real sugar so she gave up, she`s a real pain in the ass really. I don`t hate my grandmother, I just can`t stand her. Now finally we get to my uncle aka: Tito. Tito is about 43 years old and still lives with his parents so I see him everyday. I`m still not sure if Tito is either gay or metrosexual b/c he likes Armani and such designers so that he looks gay, but you can never be sure. He hates goth and hates it when I paint my nails black, he hates doing dishes so I mostly get stuck doing his dishes or I clean my plate and right when I leave he puts his plate so my grandmother ends up scolding me, the thing that he loves most in the world is his remaining dog, Paca. See, he used to have 3 dogs, but both Paca`s parents died (Yo-Yo and Tanya) Yo-Yo died about 5 years ago (not sure) and Tanya died last month. Now he tries to keep Paca inside as much as possible much to my grandma`s dislike. He just takes up space at my house, he trully is an unpleasant person. I mean, he can be nice, but he can also not be.
That`s about it I can say about my life about now.