Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek and all its characters. I'm just playing with them.
Copyright rebel_jediknight, November 2000.
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Thanks to Beta Queen Coral and Beta Princess Bec for (what else!) betaing! :)
"So how exactly do we do this?" Kathryn asked, staring at the mess of poles and blue plastic material lying on the grass at her feet.
Chakotay scratched his head. "Well, according to Tom, we're supposed to attach the long pole to the center of the tarpaulin, get that up, then once we have that rigged we attach the corners to the other four poles and tack them down."
"And we don't tack down the middle pole?"
"He says it'll stand by itself if we jam it in the ground hard enough."
"Okay," she said skeptically. "Well, let's get started."
"So tell me again why we're doing this?" Kathryn panted ten hot, sweaty minutes later, when, after a lot of scrambling and cursing, they had finally succeeded in setting up the pole.
"It's for one of Tom and Neelix's morale boosters-"
She waved him off. "Yes, yes, I know all that. But why are we constructing this- what did he call it- a 'tarp shelter'?"
"He wants to put the food table under it or something, I'm not sure."
"Couldn't he just have entered it into the program?" she asked with amusement.
"It's supposed to make the barbecue more authentic if we build it ourselves."
"Well, it's certainly making my bruises more authentic!" Kathryn winced as she gingerly touched the spot on her arm where a falling pole had struck her earlier.
Chakotay snickered. "Poor Kathryn."
She scowled. "Shut up. You didn't get hit by a nine-kilogram rod of steel."
"Okay, okay, I take it back. I'll give you a massage later if it'll make you feel any better!"
She smiled sweetly at him. "You read my mind."
"I have that ability. Now, if you want that massage, I suggest we hurry up!" He strode past her to where they had dumped the other four poles and picked one up.
Unluckily, he didn't see that Kathryn was still standing behind him, and as he turned around, he swung the pole in a wide arc, accidentally slammed it into her back, and knocked her over.
"Oh, dammit. Kathryn, are you alright?" he called anxiously.
"Yeah, no thanks to you though!" she griped, slowly getting up off the ground.
Chakotay walked back to the tarp, managing to avoid her this time, and let the pole drop. "Let's finish this, then I'll give you that massage, okay?" he tempted, trying to cheer her up.
It worked, as he'd hoped, perfectly. "Deal," she smiled, coming up beside him. "So we hook these things to the corner loops, right?"
"Yup."
"Okay, here goes." Kathryn bent and grabbed one of the poles. However, her attempt to stand it upright failed miserably when the top end impaled itself in the overhanging edge of the tarp.
"You know, this thing is more like a tent than a shelter," she grumbled, gesturing with one hand at the tarp which drooped down on all sides from the center pole.
"Of course it is, Kathryn," Chakotay said patiently. "We haven't put the supporting poles up yet."
"Ha ha, that's very funny," she shot back sarcastically, still trying to free the rod from the stiff plastic. She gave it a good hard yank and stepped backwards at the same time, abruptly pulling it out from its niche-
And inadvertently skewering Chakotay in the stomach. "Ohhh," he groaned, doubling over in agony.
Kathryn threw down the pole and rushed over to him. "Oh, Chakotay, I'm so sorry," she breathed. "Are you okay?"
"Ow... yeah... I think so. I'll be fine in a few minutes."
"Here, why don't you rest for a bit?" She put one arm around his shoulders and helped him kneel. "I'll finish with the shelter, okay?"
He nodded, desperately trying to regain his breath. Kathryn patted his shoulder, straightened up, and jogged back to their work area.
This time she whacked herself in the head with the pole when she tried to swing it vertical. She grimaced, but didn't let go of it. "Ouch."
Chakotay burst out laughing, even though his stomach still ached. "You know, you're lethal with that thing," he teased.She grunted in exasperation and began to carefully maneuver the pole toward one of the tarp corners. "Yes, I know."
He slowly got up. "Here, I'll give you a hand."
"Thanks." She stood the pole at the corner spot and walked off to get the pegs and hammer that they would use to tack it to the ground. Unfortunately, she forgot to wedge it into the ground before letting go of it, with the result that it toppled outward, clobbering Chakotay in the head on its way down.
"OW," he hollered, rubbing the part of his scalp where it had hit him. "Kathryn, what the hell are you doing?"
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I guess I am a little off today."
"Just a little?"
"Okay, a lot." She grinned sheepishly. "But it was quite funny."
"Yeah, I'll bet it was," he grouched, annoyed. "Look, let's just finish this, okay? I'm getting tired of Tom and his authenticity."
"Remind me to court-martial him after this is over," Kathryn muttered dryly. She ducked under the edge of the tarp and dragged the pole back with her so that she could attach it to the corner as she lifted it. Chakotay came in beside her and moved behind the center pole, so as to be well out of the way of any further mishaps.
She picked up the pole and jabbed it out, trying to hook the small plastic loop on the end of the rod with the bent metal extension fitted to the corner of the tarp. Unable to get them to catch, she backed up, slipped, and crashed right into the center pole. Down came the tarp.
Chakotay sank to the ground and dropped his head in his hands as the blue plastic covered them both. "Kathryn?" he called after several moments.
"I'm here," came a barely controlled voice from his left, and he turned and burrowed through the folds of material towards the sound.
He found her lying on her back in a fit of laughter. "What's so funny?" he asked quizzically.
"Nothing," she choked. "This is just so incredibly stupid, that's all."
He stared at her for a couple of seconds and then cracked up as he realized the ridiculousness of the situation. He sprawled back beside her and they lay there giggling hysterically for the next few minutes.
"Nice and cozy in here, isn't it?" he asked when they had finally managed to get themselves under control.
"Yup."
Chakotay looked at the tarp blanketing them, grinned, and rolled over, placing one hand on each side of Kathryn's face and bracing himself on his arms above her. He leaned down and raised an eyebrow suggestively.
"Wanna make out?"
"No," she replied with a smirk.
"Why not? It's perfect."
"Right, and somebody- most likely Tom Paris- is apt to come in and find us just when we are in our most compromising positions."
Well, in that case... "Wanna make out somewhere else?"
Kathryn laughed. "My quarters or yours?"
The End
