| Phase 20 I tapped Fei�s mental shoulder. He spun confusedly, then smiled reassuringly and gave me a thumbs up before disappearing. � Kris?� They�re all right. You don�t have to worry anymore. He let out a very relieved sigh. I yawned widely. Maybe the bed�ll be messed up before tonight. I�m tired. � As I mentioned earlier . . .� he muttered. You exaggerate. � Not always!� I yawned at him. Whatever. G�night. But he wouldn�t let me go. Just as I was going to ask him what he thought he was doing, he lowered his head very slowly and kissed me. (It hadn�t surprised me in the least; I�d somehow had a feeling that he�d do it.) The kiss was soft and tender; tentative and gentle. He had a light hold on my arms, but it wasn�t enough that I couldn�t get away if I wanted. He was leaving it all up to me and I could tell by his posture and slight stiffness that if I made one move to break it he�d let go and back off immediately. Speaking would ruin the moment, so I answered by closing the distance between us and returning the kiss. He was quite obviously surprised--his eyes popped open and he gave me one of those looks that told me he wouldn�t be angry if I stepped away. But all I did was shut my eyes and put my arms around him. He did the same to me, but his hold was loose and not confining in the least. He was trying not to scare me, but I wasn�t scared. I hadn�t even started out that way. When we finally broke off, we stood with our foreheads and noses touching; my arms around his neck and his around my waist. � You are beautiful,� he whispered. My cheeks warmed and I smiled shyly. You�re just saying that. He shook his head a little. � No I�m not.� He sighed. � Six years ago I was almost absolutely sure you had cooties.� I giggled. � Then you left . . . and I began to miss you terribly. Not because you were so close to my age or because you were the only one I could play the really good pranks on, but because you helped me just by being yourself. You gave me perspective. Everyone here follows my orders without question; Sig�s challenges are rare and almost never forced into my face. � But you . . . you fought back. I was so used to having everyone listen to me that your disobedience was a nuisance at first. Then, as I talked more and more with you, I realized that you would not accept a master as easily as the others. So I took a step back and let you go. I still think it was a mistake to do that, since you left right after, but now that I think about it, you wouldn�t have stayed either way. � Those six years felt like a millennia. I was so scared something would happen to you. That I would find you the way I had when we were little, or worse . . . dead. Every night I prayed that you were okay and would come back soon to me, where I knew you�d be safe. � And then one day I found you. Well . . . we found each other. I was so glad that you weren�t hurt. It made getting stuck in that cavern worthwhile because if I hadn�t come out to get Weltall, I would�ve missed you completely. And once I was back on the sand cruiser and could see you clearly and take time to look at you . . . It was like you�d transformed. You weren�t the girl who walked off into the dawn without a backward glance six years ago. You had, in such a short time, become an exquisite gift to this world--Desert Goddess. � Then I lost you again. I feared that I had only been given a small chance to prove myself and had failed miserably. I needed you beside me so badly . . . my heart hurt. I needed you to tell me that everything would be okay, that we�d find a way out together. But you weren�t there and I was almost constantly unfocused. � And now . . . Here you are. In front of me once more. I�m afraid to let you go, but I know you�ll get away. You always manage to, no matter how hard I hold on to you. But I thought that maybe . . . maybe if I give you a reason to stay, you will. You won�t run off on some unexplained impulse.� I smiled and gave him a quick kiss. I�m staying right here from now on. I do not plan to go anywhere you don�t. I will stay by your side. If you need me, I will stay. I am in no hurry to leave you any longer. We stood in a tight embrace and he suddenly lifted me into the air and took me to my bed. Laying me on the feather-soft mattress ever-so-carefully, he bent down and spoke in the same whisper as before. � Sleep well.� I frowned. You aren�t staying with me? He shook his head. � I have my duties on this ship.� I tugged on his hand. Don�t go. Lie with me for a while. He was sorely tempted . . . � All right.� I snuggled up against him and relaxed as his arms closed around me. I was tired, but my mind was working a kelt a minute. I had never heard him talk about something as though he was baring his soul, but he so obviously had been. Hopefully, I had been able to reassure him that his efforts to draw my attention had not been in vain. *>*<* Sigurd frowned. � Where is that boy?� � Do not get angry at him,� Citan put in. � Did you not say he dreamed of Kris� death?� � I did.� � I would consider that grounds to spend some time with her.� � Agreed, but that time being spent unsupervised worries me.� � You cannot control every tiny thing. Neither of them would let it go that far so soon. And even if they would, they would wait for an unsupervised moment. I do not believe you give them enough credit.� There was a long, long pause. � I can�t take it anymore. I have to check on them.� � Do you even know where they are?� � Yes. They�re in her room. They�re almost always in her room.� Sigurd took the elevator down a few floors, then walked down the hall to the fourth door. He opened it and looked in. � See? What did I say?� � This hardly proves a thing. I suppose we�ll know the truth in a few months, though.� Bart opened his eyes and lifted his head. � Hey!� he snapped quietly. � I just got her to sleep!� Sigurd crossed his arms. � What happened here?� � She checked to make sure Fei and Elly were alive and okay and then we talked for a while and then I put her in bed because she wouldn�t go herself. I was going to go back up to the bridge, but she asked me to stay with her. So I did.� He watched Sigurd a moment and then said flatly, � No, we didn�t. You�re too paranoid for your own good, Sig.� � Can you blame me? All you talked about was how you wanted to get her back. Now that you have, it�s one of my foremost worries.� Carefully, so Kris didn�t wake up, Bart got off the bed and went over to Sig. � Then don�t let it be. There�s no way in hell I�m going to rush anything. Whatever happened to her ten years ago made her afraid of men. That�s all the more reason for me to back off and let her control the relationship. If all she wants is for us to stay friends, we�ll stay friends. I�m leaving this up to her. You have nothing to be worried about.� � Did you ever think that maybe she�ll do it for you?� � Yes, I did. And if it looks like that�s what she�s doing, I�ll question her.� Sigurd was not convinced, but didn�t push further. He�d already gotten past the expected point. � Fine. I�ll take your word for it. But if you�re lying, that�s it.� � What�s it?� He didn�t want to do this. � She�s a distraction. She�ll have to go.� As expected, Bart bristled and stiffened. � The hell she will. If you expect me to concentrate ever again, you better let her stay.� � What if she leaves?� � She said she wouldn�t and I believe her.� Sigurd was mildly surprised. � You never take someone�s word as truth.� � Kris isn�t someone. She only lies when it will save somebody�s life.� � Do you think maybe she�s saving yours?� � No. If she really does leave, I�ll just keep an eye out for her like last time.� � Last time you nearly got yourself killed.� Bart waved his hand. � Details, details.� He looked back to Kris, who still slept soundly. � I think I can leave without her noticing now.� *>*<* I woke alone. I was wondering how Bart had gone without my knowing when I caught wisps of his thoughts. Our minds were still linked and that had allowed him to leave without waking me. So he probably knew I was up as well. I trailed his thoughts all the way up to the deck. He was standing on the upper level, staring across the vast ocean. What�s wrong, Princeling? He didn�t turn. I could see the eyepatch was back. � Nothing. Just thinking.� I went to stand beside him and rested my arms on the rail. Why do you let me call you that? What�s the difference between that and �Prince Bartholomew�? � It�s not as formal. I don�t want people to be all stiff and boring around me.� Is that why Sig told me the truth? � . . . I didn�t want you to think you had to bow like Sig and Maison feel they have to.� With a smile, he added, � I guess I worried too much.� Bart, I don�t know how to act around normal people, let alone royalty. I�m sure I won�t change anytime soon. He looked at me finally and I noticed that he wore a compact, foldable headset. The microphone was flipped up beside the left side of his head. � But Kris, you have changed. And I�m not sure I understand what you�ve become.� I looked at him, worried. Is it bad? � Not so far. But it hasn�t exactly been a breath of fresh air, either. I just hope it doesn�t prove to be bad.� There it was again. That kind way of speaking about something he didn�t really want to. It was so sweet. I faced the ocean once more. What did Sig want? � You were awake?� A little. I went right back to sleep once I knew it was him. � Well, he was worried about us being together.� Why? He hesitated. � I had a dream. You died and . . .� He trembled and I hugged him. He put the side of his face on the top of my head and sniffled. I knew he was crying, but if I pointed it out he�d clam up, so I didn�t mention it. � I woke terrified that it was a prophecy or something that had already happened. I was sobbing like a baby and just wanted to lie down and die too.� I stroked his back. How did I die? He shook his head a little. � It was something of Gebler�s . . . a yellow-brown color and long like their airships.� A Hecht. A Hecht? � Yeah. Hey, how�d you know?� They had eight of them when I was in Nortune. They were going to hit an old reactor near there. A couple of them went down in Nortune and one nearly did kill me. Luckily I was in Axyl and she protected me. He squeezed me and took a deep breath. � Then it was almost true.� Almost, I acknowledged. So why was Sig worried? � He was worried that I�d throw you on a bed and have my evil way with you without considering that we weren�t married and without making sure you didn�t object to it.� He doesn�t trust us. � He doesn�t trust me.� Bart paused. � Kris, I . . . I�m ready to go all the way with this. But I don�t want you to feel that you have to do the same. We�ll go at the speed you set. Or, if you prefer, we won�t go anywhere. We can stay friends if that is all you want.� Bart, we went way past the �friends� point with the kiss. � Was it too much?� He sounded alarmed. I tilted my head back and placed my lips on the underside of his jaw. No. It was perfect. He sighed and I lowered my head. Thank you for letting me control this. I don�t want to admit it, but this is the part of human relations that I�m not very good at. He made a soothing noise. � I�ll do my best to help you.� I smiled. Yet again he had proven how deep he could be. You know, Bart, you are my strength. � And you,� he replied, taking my chin and turning my head so I�d look at him, � are my weakness.� I stared at him wonderingly, forgetting that I could now see his soul just by blinking. � Are you blushing?� He took a closer look and a small smile crept onto his face. � I embarrassed you? What did I say?� Stop! You�re just making it worse! <--Phase 19 Phase 21--> |