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The Mullet Wall of Fame |
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This page is dedicated to the worst hair style of all time... the Mullet (aka: hockey hair, glam band hair). A style that reached its pinnacle in the 80's, the mullet was able to infect an bring down even the most poplular celebrities. I choose not to bring down these great people. I, on the other hand, choose to raise and praise these great men. As the saying goes...
"To hair is human, to Mullet is devine."
-James K. Polk
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First Induction Class |
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Classic Mullet Jame K. Polk- This former president was the first man to bring legitamacy to the White House. This, of course, was due to the fact that he wore his hair mullet-style, and ditched those nasty powdered wigs. It was the final key to show our true independence from British tyrany. He was the first public figure in the good ol' US to wear a mullet in public. If it not for James K. Polk, we can only imagine what might have become of the mullet. He clearly cut a course for all Americans to follow. |
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Sports Mullet Rod Beck/Doug Jones/Randy Johnson
The 3 Mulleteers- These three men show the perfect way to wear the mullet acording to body type. Rod Beck (left) is quite a stout man, therefore his mullet is full and on the short side. His mustache (fu-man-chu style) hangs well below the corner of the mouth to make up for lack of hair length. Doug Jones (middle) is built like an average man, therefore his mullet is longer and slightly wild. His mustache (walrus style or goffman style) hangs below the corner of his mouth, due to the lack of complete mullet |
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length. Randy Johnson (right) is a tall and lanky man, therefore he wears his mullet quite long and very scraggly. Because his mullet is at optimum length, his mustache is even with the corners of his mouth (hunter style). Due to the combination of mustache and mullet the 3 Mulleteers have become dominating pitchers in major league baseball. Beck is known as a fireball closer that batters fear. Jones is known for his offspeed pitches that lul the batters to sleep, but his slow, slower, and slowest style will sit a hitter down quickly. Randy Johnson is known as one of the best, if not the best, pitcher in baseball today. |
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Non-mullet Excellence Bobby's Dad- While the other categories are self explanitory Non-mullet Excellence needs some...uh...explanation. This category gives non-mullet wearers who help spread the word of the mullet a chance to be placed amoung the greats. While Mr. Generic does sport a mullet, it is still animated and no actual hair is involved. Because of his hair style, children have grown up appreciating and respecting mullets, learning that mullet wearers are people too. |
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Second Induction Class |
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Classic Mullet John Stamos - John Stamos is responsible for making the mullet the cool and hip hairstyle once again with his starring role on everybody's favorite early 90's comedy "Full House." John's character, Uncle Jesse, focused his life on one thing, and one thing only... his hair. Using the proper combinations of moose, hair spray, and the use of a "golden" blow-comb, John Stamos kept the perfect mullet. In fact, if his mullet was not perfect he was more shocked than anybody (which explains the picture on the left). We salute you John Stamos for your hairstyle and your fight for mullet-kind, and of course your wife (I still don't get that one). |
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Sports Mullet Jaromir Jagr- Mr. Jagr might have the fullest mullet that man has ever experienced. It seems to fit perfectly that a mullet of this calibur is on, of course, an NHL hockey player. There is no doubt that there is some sort of Samson effect for one of the great players in professional hockey (for you uneducated goofs, that means that his hair gives him his power). Now with the return of Super Mario the greatest mullet sporter in the NHL might finally attain his life long goal of not only winning Lord Stanley's Cup, but doing while being handicapped with a mullet. We wish you luck Jaromir on attaining what was once thought unattainable. |
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Non-Mullet Excellence Wesley Willis- Wesley Willis' song, "Cut the Mullet", may seem humorous and light-hearted enough; he's simply poking fun at an increasingly popular hairstyle.. However, those who believe the lyrics are simply a reflection of Willis' bizarre - almost childish - sense of humor do not know Wesley Willis the man, and are completely ignorant to his plight. The year was 1984, when Willis, then a young boy of 24, was witness to the gruesome murder of his own mother. "I didn't see the f**ker's face", says a teary-eyed Willis, "but I saw his mullet - that's it. I have been forever searching for the mulleted man who killed my momma!" According to Willis, he and his mother had been fighting over his choice of career. "We never made amends - she never had the chance to say she was sorry and to see the success I've become." |
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To learn more about the Mullet Wall of Fame and how YOU can be enshrined upon it click here. Remember, you don't have to sport a mullet to be remembered.
Return to Greg's Site |
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