Pledge
Have you ever watched your fellows eating pie/working alongside pi (to solve problems that no one wnats to solve in thr first place) and wondered what it's all about? Why everyone seems to take pi(e) for granted? So have we. And we know the answer.
Pi(e) has infiltrated its way into the world's thinking. You place a pie in front of someone, and nearly all the time they will make some impressed little noise such as 'ooh!' or 'yum!' (or 'chomp' if they're a very forward sort of person). But why? This has to stop. By holding such a position of power, pi(e) could do many things. Many things.
What pi(e) is guilty of:
- Infiltrating the minds of the people of earth-we all recognise the shape of the comon pie.
- Dominating the nation's dessert routine-how many people eat some sort of pie every day? Just think of how many pies, successful in their mission, you have wolfed down in the past week.
- We come to the mathematical pi-it has provided many a cover lesson whee the teacher has forgotton their notes. 'Calculate pi to 10 decimal places' says your maths teacher. 'Without a calculator'. But how Mrs Minnards, how? I rest my case.
- Pie is evil. Pie Is Evil. P.I.E. PIE. Think about it.
- There's always another source of proof. It's just a matter of looking hard enough.
What pi(e) could do in the near (yet far-fetched) future:
- The traditional custard/sweet filled pie could very soon take over the enire dessert industry. As you munch away happily at your apple pie and custard, think about ice cream. And cake. And artic roll (mmmm). Would you rather never taste those again? It's something to think about.
- See above, this time with the 'main course'. Chicken pie, mushroom pie, quorn pie, quiche (it's one step away)-think about how many there are.
- It's common entertainment to see a man with a larger-than-life nose, unfortunately large feet and extrodinarily bad dress sense become pelted with a custard-filled pie. The pies ridicule and humiliate this poor victim of modern society's standards.
I am not defending clowns. Clowns are very evil. But they work together with the pies to create the feelings of humour and pity for the clown involved in the scene. No other emotions are so unbalanced-and wheer else will you see them together? Soon, the 'pie-hits-clown-and-clown-cries' sketch will take over TV. Nothing but clowns wiping custard off their clothes day after day after day. Is that what you want?
This is just a short list. There is much more. But hopefully you have begun to recognise the scale of the situation. Observe the example below-pie has attempted to fool us by presenting itslef as 'cute'.
There are many other examples of things that appear 'cute' but hide a rotten core. Chibi Usa for one. Learn to resist these 'cute-callings' early on.
P.I.E members hope to:
- Rid the earth of pies.
- Save those who have delved too deep into the pie-zone.
- Discover the truely evil element of pies through carefully planned and conducted experiments (such as shutting a pie in a microwave and seeing how long it takes to explode), then removing it.
- Raise public awareness of the crisis in hand-before it's too late.
If you truly believe that you can help us fight against the evil, please consider joining. United we are strong, but if we allow the pies to drive us apart...there is no hope.
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