"How many Frenchmen does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him." ----Anonymous "Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France." ----Anonymous "How can you be expected to govern a country that has two hundred and forty-six kinds of cheese?" ----fmr. President Charles de Gaulle "I don't know why people are surpised that the French won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" ----Jay Leno "The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." ----David Letterman "You know, the French remind me a liggle bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." ----Senator John McCain "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people! ----Conan O'Brien "The French are a smallish monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey, I don't know. ----P.J. O'Rourke "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks, it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ----Mark Twain