Alyssa: Hi everybody!! I�m home from having my latest set of twins. Oh, honey, what do you want to name this pair?

Leo: Welcome home. Start the music, Blake. Everyone join in!

Alyssa: Why not? I like kids!

Susan: Okay, okay sorry!

Alyssa: You better be. Besides, at least I�ll have lots of heirs for when the time comes.

Callisto: But when the time comes, they�ll all be fighting over the spot.

Alyssa: Fine, gang up on me why don�t you!

Callisto: Sorry. Hey have you met Kate�s husband, Jason, yet?

Alyssa: No. Hi! Nice to meet you, Jason.

Jason: Hi, Alyssa. I can�t believe we�ve never met and you�re my sister-in-law!

Nar.: From the first time they meet, Alyssa and Jason become good friends. By the time the last pair of Alyssa�s and Leo�s twins were two, Alyssa and Leo got divorced and Alyssa and Jason ran off together on vacation. While they�re gone, Kate receives the divorce papers from Jason. Six months after Jason and Kate get divorced, Alyssa and Jason get married. Two months later. . .

Alyssa: Hi Honey, I�m home! Oh! A surprise party for me! How thoughtful!! (What I really meant to say was how awful, I hate surprises!)

Jason: Oh I knew you would like it. Duh.

Alyssa: (Yeah right.)

Nar.: If Alyssa keeps having kids who knows, she might fill up the whole underworld. Look who just walked in. It�s the Meek Servant.

Meek Servant: Hi everyone! It�s me, the Meek Servant! I�ve come to save the day.

Alyssa: From what?

Jason: Duh. Yeah what?

Nar.: From what, nobody knows. Hmm, that sounds familiar. Oh, no, look who just walked in.

Teapot: I�m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout�

All: Shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teapot: I don�t have to take this. I�m going home. Hmph!

Audience Member: Wasn�t that Jak�s handwriting?

Alyssa: Where did you all come from? This is my part of the story.

Jason: Duh. Our mothers. I think.

Alyssa: What? Oh, shut up. I wasn�t talking to you.

Jason: Duh. But. . .

Alyssa: I said shut up. Don�t you listen?

Jason: Duh. Okay.

Nar.: I believe that was officially their first quarrel. One of many, I do believe. Oh, look who�s here!!! Leo, Alyssa�s ex-husband, wait, wasn�t he committed? He doesn�t look too happy and there�s smoke coming out of his ears!!!! This should be interesting. Oh, wait, here�s another commercial. . .

Now back to our show. . .

Alyssa: Leo, what a surprise. How are the children? Oh, have you met my new husband, Jason? I believe he used to be Kate�s husband. Leo, have you been smoking lately? There�s smoke coming from your ears.

Leo: I�ve come to take you back.

Alyssa: Never!

Leo: Come on!

Nar.: Hey, he�s pulling Alyssa towards the door!

Jason: I won�t let you take her!!!!

Nar.: Watch out! He has a gun! Run, Leo! Run! Oh, no! He�s going to shoot! BANG! Yeh! He missed! This is interesting. Leo now has the gun, which he wrestled away from Jason. He shoots. BANG! Jason�s dead! Wait. Kate just walked in.

Kate: Jason! No! Who did this?

Nar.: Leo did! Kill him!

Kate: Leo! You back-stabbing beep!

Nar.: She has a gun too! BANG! Bye Leo! It was nice knowing you!

Alyssa: How dare you kill Leo!

Nar.: Alyssa now has Leo�s gun! She�s aiming. . .BANG! Good-bye Kate. Now what? I know, a commercial. . .

Susan: Blake! Help! The Meek Servant is threatening me! He�s saying he�s going to start war with us!

Blake: Calm down Susan. We can handle this. Now what was his threat. I want exact words.

Susan: If you don�t let me have what I want I will declare war!

Blake: I guess this is important. What did you do to cause this?

Susan: I said that he has to follow me. I will oversee your country.

Blake: Susan, this place isn�t even a country.

Susan: Well, I didn�t know what to call it. It�s not a bad deal, is it?

Blake: Well�it�s not the best idea in the world�but we can�t let him take over Meekitonia, can we? Huh, love?

Susan: I guess not. So are we going to have a war? On hand we have 1,500 ooga-boogas, 200 chocobos, 100 knights, 150 lancers, and 400 mages. Not to mention anyone who will join us in this fight for a great organized government.

Nar.: Now, wasn�t that interesting? Is there anything or anyone we�re forgetting about? Oh, yes the Master of all Darkness and his lovely wife Callisto. They are in their beautiful dark castle near the River Styx. . .

Callisto: (Hi! It�s me, Callisto! I�m here talking to my husband, Marec, about a vacation.) So, Marec, where do you want to go to on vacation?

Marec: It�s not like there are many choices, Callisto. There�s the summer castle in the clouds, going to visit Hades, going to visit mom and my aunts and uncles, or just going to the Elysian Fields to see the Sacred Garden.

Callisto: Lets go to the castle in the clouds. And lets take Alyssa with us, because there�s a rumor going around that Blake and Susan are about to start a war with the Meek Servant. A lot of people are choosing now to go on vacation because of that.

Marec: Okay, I want you to go ask Alyssa right now. So go.

Callisto: Bye, Honey.

Nar.: She�s going to Alyssa�s now. And when she gets there she sees. . .

Callisto: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Nar.: Well, she doesn�t like what she sees, obviously. Lets see. . . there�s a bunch of dead people on the floor, Alyssa is in shock sitting on the couch, and there�s a gun in Alyssa�s hand. I would be shocked, too, if I were her. Well, Alyssa is now realizing Callisto is standing there. . .

Callisto: Alyssa, you didn�t�

Alyssa: No, I didn�t. Leo killed Jason, Kate killed Leo, and I�

Callisto: It�s okay. Well, actually, it�s not really going to be okay�because Leo, Jason, and Kate are gone�wait, what kind of guns were used?

Alyssa: I don�t know.

Nar.: I think it�s called a laser gun. The bodies descinerate after be shot with this gun. But, it takes the body 15 minutes to disappear.

Callisto: That�s weird. Jason�s body just disappeared�there goes Leo�s, and now Kate�s. This is good. You can�t get in trouble now, there�s no evidence. So I came to ask if you want to go on vacation with Marec and I. So, what do you say?

Alyssa: I�ll go, but why me?

Callisto: Susan�s starting a war with the meek people of Meekitonia, who are lead by the Meek Servant.

Alyssa: Okay. Do you know if anyone cute will be where ever we�re going?

Callisto: You never give up do you?

Alyssa: Nope.

Callisto: Well, we should be alone there no one else except me, you, and Marec.

Nar.: Guess what! A commercial. . . Three weeks later. . . Three weeks later, they arrive at the castle in the clouds. They enter to find a guy sitting on the couch. . .

Callisto: Excuse me, but who are you?

Prince Charming: Hi! The name�s Charming. Jey Charming. I�m Prince Charming, if you get what I mean.

Callisto: Charming? Yeah, sure, what�s your real name?

Prince Charming: I�m not lying. I�m telling the truth. See here�s my Chocobo Driver�s License. It�s got my picture and everything.

Callisto: I�m not blind. What are you doing here?

Prince Charming: I came here to relax.

Callisto: Okay. Well, we will be staying here, too. Okay?

Prince Charming: Yeah. Whatever.

Callisto: I�m Callisto, this is my husband, Marec, and this is�

Alyssa: Alyssa. Alyssa DiCaprio.

Prince Charming: Nice to meet ya.

Alyssa: (Hmmmm, he�s kinda cute. I wonder if he�s single. If he is, maybe we have a future. I�m single now after all, and my husband just died, so I�m entitled to a little fun�) Hey, Jey, do you have a girlfriend?

Prince Charming: No, not really.

Nar.: I think they like each other. Callisto and Marec leave them alone to �talk� and go upstairs to unpack. . .

Alyssa: Soooo, how did you get that last name?

Prince Charming: What name?

Alyssa: You know, Charming?

Prince Charming: Oh. My real last name wasn�t good enough for this story.

Alyssa: What was it?

Prince Charming: Um�I guess I can tell you. It�s not like it�s a big secret. It was Hobson but don�t tell anyone. Shhhh!

Alyssa: Hobson? I used to know someone with that last name a long time ago. 8th grade I think it was�

Prince Charming: 8th grade? Come to think about it, you do look familiar�

Alyssa: Your name isn�t really Jason Hobson, is it? (I had such a big crush on him in 8th grade.)

Prince Charming: It is. Did you go to St. Peter Elementary School in 8th grade?

Alyssa: Yeah. Wow. That was a long time ago. About 11 years right?

Prince Charming: Yeah. This is so weird. 11 years pass and we meet again. (I think I still like her from all the way back then.)

Nar.: Oh, great. Alyssa just found herself a new husband. Well, a month later. . .

Priest: Do you Jey Charming take Alyssa DiCaprio to be your wife?

Prince Charming: Yes.

Priest: Do you Alyssa DiCaprio take Jey Charming to be your husband?

Alyssa: I do.

Priest: You may kiss the bride.

Teapot: I�m a little teapot�

Alyssa: Shut up!

Nar.: Now that was short and sweet. Now a month after that a war starts between the Meek Servant and the Master of all Meek Things. The war lasts for 1 year. During that one year (here is one scene). . .

Latisha: Die, Evil Ooga-Booga!

Aku-Aku: Ooga-Booga!

Latisha: Hey! Get away from me!

Nar.: In that scene, we have Latisha Mopp fighting one of the Meek Servant�s Ooga-Boogas with her trusty mop. Latisha was one of the people who helped keep up the appearance of the Underworld. The war ended with the Meek Servant and the Master of all Meek Things making a deal. After everything is settled down, there is a commercial break. . . And everyone gathers at Mrs. Potts�s Tea House. . .

Teapot: I�m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle here is my spout, when you see me boiling, hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out! I finally got to finish my song! Yeh!

Tea Drops: Chip! Chip, where are you? Chip?

Chip: I�m over here! In the kitchen, Tea Drops. Come here!

Tea Drops: Coming!

Mrs. Potts: Stop yelling, Chip, Tea Drops. This is not the time to be doing that.

Chip: Sorry, Mom.

Tea Drops: Yeah. Sorry, Mrs. Potts.

Mrs. Potts: It�s okay, but don�t do it again. You guys can yell all you want later, but now keep your voices down.

Prince Charming: Attention! Attention! I have an anouncement to make! Alyssa is pregnant!

Alyssa: Shut up, Jey! Everyone doesn�t need to know.

Callisto: Congratulations, Alyssa, Jey.

Susan: Yeah, congratulations.

Jay: Alyssa, it�s nice to know you believe in having many kids. Liana and I want to congratulate you.

Alyssa: Thanks, Jay, Liana. When are you two planning on retiring? You two are the oldest people alive right now, you know.

Jay: After our kids are old enough to be able to deal with you guys. Alyssa, you are having problems settling down, Susan is starting wars, and everyone is mysteriously dying. I don�t think it�s time to retire, yet. Our eldest is already 25, but our youngest is only 2 and he needs his mother.

Callisto: What are you kids names again? I don�t think anyone remembers.

Jay: Lets see. There�s Jacinth, Dawson, Amanda, Raksha, Galen, Keller, James, Poppy, Quinn, Rashel, Ash, Kestral, Jade, Rowen, Blaise, Thea, Thierry, Hannah, Angelis, Delos, Maggie, Jezebel, Morgead, Diana, Aeris, and Tifa.

Susan: You guys are almost as bad as Alyssa is.

Jay: We�ll be around for awhile, so expect more kids.

Liana: You may be planning for more kids, but I refuse to go over 50. Okay, Jay?

Jay: Yeah, Liana. So now what can possibily happen? We already had everything that can possibily happen, happen.

Nar.: That�s what they think. At this moment Darleen Aquino is marrying Nick McDonald, the owner of the Underworld McDonalds. Nick also is in a band on the side. Also happening right now, we have a time machine landing right in front of the Tea House. WERRRRRLLLL! Ding! Doink! Bang! Zzzzz! Plop! The Earthlings have landed! We must go meet them. Greetings, Earthlings! They�re coming out. . .

Illura: Hey! Guys! Where are we?

Buffy: I don�t know. This place isn�t registering on the scanner!

Jonathon: Buffy! Where are we?

Buffy: I said I don�t know!

Jonathon: Have it do a scan!

Buffy: I am!

Illura: Calm down, Jonathan! I�m going out! Does anyone want to come?

Jonathon: I�m going with you. I�m not letting anyone leave this ship alone in a strange place.

Illura: I am capable of taking care of myself you know.

Buffy: Don�t get involved with him in a relationship. He�s too over-protective.

Marcus: Let me do that, Buffy. I�m a pro at it.

Buffy: Fine. Be like that, Marcus. I�m going with them then. You and Amanda can stay here.

Amanda: You guys aren�t leaving me here with Mr. Interesting are you? I want to go too.

Marcus: All of you go. I�ll be fine here, by myself. But just in case take these.

Nar.: Hey, neat, little microphones that you put on you head so you can talk to each other. I think they�re a threat. It�s now time for a commercial break. . .

Prince Charming: Did you hear something?

Alyssa: No. Why?

Prince Charming: Never mind. I thought I heard something from outside.

Nar.: Very good, Jey! Maybe you�re not as dumb as you look. Now I�m going to tell you how our friends outside are doing. . .

Jonathon: Do you think it�s safe outside? Maybe we should take these with us.

Illura: Okay. Take the guns so we look like a threat to anyone who lives here.

Jonathon: Sorry, but I�m still taking one. Besides considering the landscape, these people are kind of primitive.

Buffy: You can tell that from the landscape?

Jonathon: Well, they live in castles. Don�t you think that�s kind of old-fashioned?

Illura: And how do you know what they have in those castles? What if they have really high-tech computers in them that have heat sensors and other stuff like that that will set off alarms telling them that there is an intruder, and that we should be blown-up, smashed, or even burnt to a crisp? Then what do we do?

Buffy: Run like rabbits!

Amanda: Shoot our way out!

Jonathon: No. We try to negotiate.

Amanda: If that doesn�t work?

Jonathon: Then we try shooting our way out.

Buffy: And if that doesn�t work?

Jonathon: Then we simply, run!

Amanda: Oh, sure, that will work!

Jonathon: No, I mean run! They�re coming and they�re pointing laser-guns at us!

Illura: Are you serious?

Buffy: Yes, he is. Look!

Nar.: Don�t they know it�s rude to point? You try to kill people but all they ever do is run and scream! Should I have my friend kill them? my friend is the guy with the laser-gun (he�s my alter ego). Hmmm, this is a hard choice. Dead us or dead them? I think I choose dead them. . .

Jonathon: Run, guys!

Amanda: Marcus open the door or I�m going to kill you!

Nar.: Yeah. That�s really smart. He�s opening the door. Hey, he�s coming out. Wait a second. I know that guy. It�s Marcus Miller. He�s a computer wiz. Everyone down here has heard of him. Let�s see. That makes these other people the rest of the team. Jonathan Vance, Amanda Webb, Sarah Summers, Illura Harman, and. . .wait. . .there�s supposed to be someone else. . .James Raven. . .where�s he? Maybe he�s dead. But then he�d be here. I wonder. . .

Illura: The laser-gun guy is gone. I wonder what happened. Oh, well. Hey, Marcus where is this place?

Marcus: I think we�re in another demension. There�s a building over there, so why don�t we ask whoever lives there?

Nar.: Okay. This is unacceptable. I can�t let them bother those people in the Tea House! I must stop them! Alter Ego! Kill them!

Buffy: Hey! He�s back! Run!

Amanda: No, better idea, shoot!

Nar.: BANG! Hey! It�s rude to kill other people�s alter egos! Great now I can�t do anything! This voice doesn�t come with a body!

Jonathon: Open up!

Nar.: No! don�t open the. . .

Alyssa: What!

Nar.: Talk about dumb! The girl just had 12 kids all at once! Now she�s pregnant again and opening doors for strangers with guns! Hey, wait, Illura and Jonathan are covered in blood. Since when did that happen?

Jonathon: Look, you�ve got to help us or we�ll kill you all! She�s going to die if you don�t! So? Are you going to help?

Callisto: No. Let her die we don�t really care.

Amanda: That�s it. We�ll have to go back. Let�s kill them all!

Jonathon: Hurry up. You and Buffy stay here and finish the job, while we take here back.

Buffy: Yes, sir!

Nar.: I can�t watch! It�s too horrible! Wait, we can�t die with normal guns. Never mind. They�re using my alter ego�s guns. As for Alter Ego, at least he went down fighting. I know lets mess with their dates. Hey, everyones gone! That was quick! Wait, I didn�t get to mess with their dates! THIS ISN�T FAIR!!!!

A FEW YEARS LATER. . .

A few years later the Underworld is repopulated by people. The rulers are known as The King Who Liked To Boss People Around and The Queen Who Cared For No One. They had a daughter and a son, that were named by The Fairy That Is Good With Names. They are known as The Prince That Loves To Dance and The Princess That Casts Magic Spells. Later in their lives they marry and have many kids. The Princess That Casts Magic Spells married a prince named The Prince Who Was Charming and had six kids that were named The Prince Who Slew Dragons, The Princess That Won Races, The Prince That Will Be Very Evil, The Princess That Took Pictures, The Prince That Threw Lots Of Parties, and The Princess That Will Be A Hero. The Prince That Loved To Dance married a princess named The Princess That Sang Beautifully. They had eight kids. Their names are The Prince That Saw Both Sides To Every Question, The Princess That Loved People, The Prince That Wrote Music, The Princess That Likes Roses, The Prince Who Is An Ax-Murderer, The Princess That Read Books, The Prince That Can�t Dance, and The Princess That Loves Cute Things. They grew up and married and had kids starting another saga of the important family. . .Who am I? I�m Jack Dawson�s nephew�s friend�s brother�s wife�s friend�s 2nd cousin, also known as the Former Master of all Narrators. If you want to call me my number is 547-7742, I�m currently single and looking for a wife. . .

Meet Servant: This isn�t fair! I�m in Limbo while everyone else got to die!

RING! RING!

Here we go again! Help! I�ll do anything! No! Not Tic-tac-toe! Help me�

Meanwhile. . .

Buffy: What�s going on!

Jonathon: Where are we going!

Marcus: I don�t know! I don�t think we put in the right date!

Amanda: Ow! What year is it?

Illura: I don�t feel so good�

Jonathon: We�ve got to find a hospital. We�ll leave her here and come back when we get the chance.

Buffy: There�s a hospital right outside. I�ll take her in and leave her.

5 minutes later. . .

Buffy: That should take care of that. Shall we go home now?

Jonathon: I don�t want to leave her, but we have to go back now�

Teapot: Help! Me stuck here in this cave with Jack Dawson, that Prince Guy, Callisto, and Bob! And I was just hit in the head by the sky! Oh, no! The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Prince Charming: Shut up! I have a head ache!

Callisto: So do I�

Meanwhile. . .

Alyssa: Do you think we can come out of the closet yet?

Susan: How long has it been? Let�s get out of here, now!

Alyssa: Okay�