The Pre-Booty Call Agreement


This pre-booty call agreement (here in after referred to here in as the "Agreement") is entered into as the ______ day of ____________, 2002, by and between ____________and _____________.

1. No sleeping over (don't want to see your ass when I wake up)

2. No meeting in public (shit, I'm not getting stuck with you)

3. No calls on my pager or cell phone before 2 a.m.

4. None of that "lovemaking" shit ( we both know what we are here for)

5. No emotional discussions: ( ex. Where are we heading with this? You know damn well where it's heading!!)

6. No plans made in advance.. that's why you're ass is called the "backup"

7. No non-sexual gifts ( altoids not included)

8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged)

9. No asking for conparisons with former lovers, in fact, no conversations is preferred.

10. No kissing  (too intimate)

11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not friends and we never will be)

12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is O.K. (hint we are not together, you just a back up plan)

13. No extra clothing ( I don't want your ass leaving anything behind that  my real man/woman might find !)

14. No guilt about falling asleep right after sex

15. Don't be offended if I don't I don't ask if you enjoyed it (I don't care) .. and don't ask me!! I'll get mines you       worry about yours)

16. I will not walk you to the car for any reason, so don't ask! (you are lucky I walk you to the front/back door,                                      really I don't want anything missing  I don't trust you.

17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, " my roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend"

18 .Doggie style preferred (reason being the less I have to look at you better.) * rare exceptions when I am tired             and let you ride*

19. No answering my phone, or touch anything but the bed. (I don't want to get caught because of you)

20. We will hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes

Extra tip for successful booty calls. The aforementioned rule may not be altered or amended for any reason whatsoever. If any party attempts to changee or alter any terms of this Agreement, this will automatically become null and void and parties hereto will have no further right or obligations with arising out of the subjct matter hereof.


Signed:___________________ AND ____________________. DATE:____________
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