REALICIDE
YOUTH RECORDS
Robert
Inhuman
Lyrics 2008
UPHILL
BATTLE 11/15/08
urgency
and desperation and not just a sarcasm
and
nothing was ever easy when I tried to stand my ground
automatic
support and success is a foreign thought to me
cos
where I'm coming from no way that shit wasn't around
I'm not
from LA - my worth isn't blindly handed to me
I'm not
from LA - had to fight for what I wanted
had to
build it up from nothing!
you
mistake a diehard struggle for another parlour trick theatric
but
this ain't no charade -
it's
the anxiety of when your hometown is bullshit!
I'm not
from LA - my worth isn't blindly handed to me
I'm not
from LA - had to fight for what I wanted
had to
build it up from nothing!
yeah
I'll fucking form a band though they said "you should kill yourself"
and
yeah I'll lose some blood and sleep and chip away at my good health
I'll
tour this fucking nation though I got no hook-ups and I'm out on the streets
but
I'll fucking be myself and offer what I can to anyone I meet...
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM 11/14/08
nothing's
critical so you draw no conclusions
don't
have to understand so there's no confusion
"I
was so wasted!" - a fashion
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
no
rhyme or reason or social concern
no
community; no bridges to burn
sound
for sound's sake; superficial challenge
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
to
conflict or care is a dangerous risk
but a
vague poetic deadend is so impressive
what
the fuck's it matter if this does anybody real good
and
outcast anybody that tells you it should
nothing's
critical so you draw no conclusions
don't
have to understand so there's no confusion
"I
was so wasted!" - a fashion
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
no
rhyme or reason or social concern
no
community; no bridges to burn
sound
for sound's sake; superficial challenge
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
*
nothing's
critical so you draw no conclusions
don't
have to understand so there's no confusion
"I
was so wasted!" - a fashion
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
no
rhyme or reason or social concern
no
community; no bridges to burn
sound
for sound's sake; superficial challenge
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
what a
buzzkill
that we
should serve the world we live in
cos
apathy sells
a
hundred-fold what any radical cause can cash in
what a
buzzkill
that
you should serve the world you live in
are you
happy
in your
skin-deep anarchism?
what a
buzzkill
that we
should serve the world we live in
indifference
is what I breathe in
why
should I resist when I can just give in?
apathy
becomes our religion
ACCIDENTAL
NIHILISM
RELAPSING
AGAIN
here is
my fucked up life!
don't
got time for anyone and feeling alone all the time
nothing
left still makes me feel alive
people
think I'm insane cos I am frowning all the time
here is
my fucked up life
in the
mirror don't see nobody; just looks like another brickwall
scratching
at a phone; won't even answer if you call
a month
feels like a minute and I'm sad but way too numb to cry
this is
my fucked up life
depression
is my guilty pleasure
am I
gonna relapse til I'm numb forever?
I don't
wanna die
to be a
celebration of my own lies
and I
don't wanna die
as a
martyr sacrifice to an imperial blind eye
I don't
wanna die
in the
same vanity that has forsaken even my own life
and I
don't wanna die without an answer
but
it's not enough what I've got inside
bring
me to my knees
starving
for an end to plague, an end to legacy,
and end
to dead ends, an end to starving, an end to even me...
beyond
our solutions, beyond our rhetoric,
every
one-way delusion, the only hell...
AS THE
YEARS LIMP BY
I tried
to build my home around life
I tried
to block out the hatred each time
suffer
through an apathy that manifest's in my friend's eyes
and he
doesn't spend much time
wondering
why I don't sleep at night
why I
won't eat to save my own life
until I
die
when I
remember all the times well spent
I
wonder where the joy in life went
my
hands are empty and when they're not
each
touch causing a hundred wounds to open back up
I feel
like I'll never be sweet (love truly) again
I feel
like I'll take this misery to my deathbed
but
when I die will I open wide
these
sliver eyes once swollen blind
and the
creulty in my heart
will
cease to be or reinstate itself in some other life...
Realicide, the
collective band and publications label of the same name, is our endorsement of
anti-hypothetical change, anti-narcissistic agenda, progressive anti-escapism,
art as a catalyst for dialogue and interaction, art as a byproduct of a life
lived, ethically sober compassion and self-sacrifice as an expression of love,
against the hell of human institutions and wants. 09/13/08
* DEATH MACHINE 09/13/08
I jump into my death machine
and I immediately forget what this world
was meant to be
and despite any moments of beauty and
fragility
my life has no value in my death machine
indebted to convenience, and
stubbornness, and even subtle greeds
when I try to look away, this machine
can make hostages of anything
we each must work each day, no matter if
we enjoy this working
just to scrape to pay for the
maintenance of a weapon and a deathwish
but of course more than just a wish
this death machine is our religion
or rather one callous bible accessory
to the religion that is our humanity
an origin not of death itself, but of
its association to perversity
an origin not of death itself, but of
the arbitrary on/off switches of our machines
an origin of machines, and their
uncompromising lack of life
inventions that bypass compassion,
inventions that degrade everything
an origin of ownership, of "point
to prove", of disharmony
I jump into my death machine
I try to quit while I'm ahead, but I
notice that I'm already killing.
* IF I AM HUNGRY
fuck my whimpering body
that shell that would cripple those of
any it could
I know that it would - this - my human
body
manipulator and each time terminal
mutilator
manifest viral extinguisher of itself
and anything else
leave the choice to me and it's the
zipper closing on this world's body bag
point of no return - point to prove to
whom?
til there's nobody left to use or gloat
to
fuck my whimpering body
let it be a sacrificial tool
celebrate our death in order to honor
all life on earth
celebrate our death as a cure for a
plague of all unjust hurt
wash away a failed species
* AUTONOMY 08/19/08
your crusade isn't mine
your jihad isn't mine
xenophobic on each side
your hate is defined by pride
"NO WAR CAN BE WON"
unless you accept a nation's children as
fodder for a gun
that backfires and bloodstains our
decisions
it's foreign - it's domestic - the same
either way - victims
but am I among these "victims"
when I got a brain in my skull and warm
blood in my body
can I really claim I ain't a cell in the
system
when I had reach to the resources that
could stop that gun from firing?
when I had reach to the resources that
could keep my conscience from dying??
when I have access to a solution I call
compassion combined with REALLY TRYING???
your crusade isn't mine
your jihad isn't mine
I'm not pacified
just cos I'm not the one who's next to
die
...when winning is based on ethnocentric
death
in our fucking civilization, based on
who is left
after a game called genocide and another
familiar one called wealth
burning to death in oil, so a few
sociopaths can keep their good health
"what could I have access to and
would I grab it even if I did?"
your crusade isn't mine
your jihad isn't mine
xenophobic on each side
your hate is defined by pride
your crusade isn't mine
your jihad isn't mine
using god as your alibi
you don't speak for me when you lie
* 2/26/08 ALIENATION
so can I year by year talk about
alienation?
but it's my choice when I'll be severed
from anything
do I wanna make excuses, saying I'm
rejected and my hands are tied?
or can I decide what's the right time
and what alienation even means?
do I want to be buried by a subculture
is it a tool or is it a disease
does your lifestyle make you fucking
hate eachother
I wanna have the nerve to see when a
subculture is caging me
what the fuck is up when bands that are
supposed to be "changing" me
make me afraid to share ideas and
actions indiscriminately?
we don't got the same age or sex or race
or tastes or understanding
does hardcore really mean this makes us
enemies automatically?
NO
I'll decide
and not just say it
won't be crippled by my culture
cos that cancels out its supposed
purpose...
*
1/21/08 I'D RATHER BE STRAIGHTEDGE
ain't
fucking with sucking down pills and smoke and alcohol
but I
never said shit if that's what you do
never
used the word before, but between crippled vices
and a
way to keep moving I know what I'll choose
I'd
rather be straightedge.
cos it
ain't trying to be fascist
don't
wanna tell you how to live
it's
about moderation
but if
all you taking down is poison then what the fuck you about to give???
I'd
rather be straightedge.
but
straightedge is a joke if it's about not smoking weed
and there
are a million ways to die inside without drowning in that booze
if
straightedge is based on drugs it's as bad as like a junkie, get me?
any
aspect of life can be abused...
I'd
rather be straightedge
in a
way that doesn't scapegoat
in a
way that's not just a game
I'd
rather be straightedge
in a
way that's actually useful
a way
that that allows me a life and my own name
*
EVERYTHING IS A CAMERA 04/21/08
I'm
looking for your eyes, everybody -
I want
to know if I'm wasting my breath
but all
I see are flickering lenses
everything's
a camera and you act like you're deaf
an
audience of cameras
so
intent to document
so much
so that we bypass feeling
anything
at all - yeah fuck it
clicking
buttons instead of really
listening
to what is right
in
front of our faces, so
after
it all what do we got??
a
million sterile token memories of shit
that
isn't what it seems on a screen...
turn to
find console in your friend
but all
you're met with is another machine
supposed
to preserve experience
but it just
replaces experience!
that
photogenic twenty-first century game
cutting
corners with your sincerity...
your
friends don't give a fuck - not really
they'd
rather see you as a URL
and a password and another fucking
number
does
that make you feel good? how the fuck do you deal with that?
or do
you react? DO YOU EVEN REACT?
even
right now you aren't hearing this
you're
fucking with a cell phone and might as well not be here
what
does it mean when we learn to be alright with -
EVERYTHING IS A CAMERA
you’re
the fashion of a future that has come and gone
relevance
that amounts to science fiction - at best
electricity
is a veil - and you're wearing it well
I've
never heard your voice - I know I never will
buried in
rhetoric
and
fake technology
and
fake philosophy
and
absent philosophy
what
did you think you were really saying to me?
hard
beat
digital
fist
no
destination
no
target
* HXC
FIGUREHEAD 05/28/08
you're
just a middle finger in the face of fucking nobody
you're
not shocking to anybody and your mom's not fucking here
pretend
it's anarchism - but it's a personal agenda not even well hidden
your
ideas don't mean shit much more than some unarticulated fear
back
your slogans up
if you
want to represent a politic
or just
shut up - shut - up
and
admit your hardcore band don't mean shit
if
you're trying to speak for all of us
you're
going to need something much better to say
but you
spend your energy on a personal agenda
in that
sabotaging fucked up way
I CAN
SEE THROUGH
YOU
EVERY STEP
YOU TRY
TO TAKE
so fuck
you kid, and fuck the authority you struggle to invent
*
INSANE ANGEL
use me
for my money
use me
for my car
use me
for my cock
use me
for my credibility
cos
it's been a fucking lifetime since I felt anything at all
one
momentary touch of your body even though you won't look at me
use me
for my money
use me
for my car
use me
for my cock
use me
cos I'm easy
you
wanna get fucked and you'll ask me to fuck you
under
one condition that I'm not allowed to love you
pretend
it don't mean anything, that it's just some time to kill
so I'll
accept it for a taste and pretend I don't love you
I don't
care what you say
you
don't give a fuck about me
no
matter what you said before
one in a
million, hell nah just one among millions
no
matter what I said,
pretend
it don't mean nothing to me
…what
about when I can't even feel pain
while
I'm fucking you just once and I don't fall in love
growing
old as fuck and courting affection with hate
this
isn't at all how I wanted or what I dreamed of
left
alone in a parking lot
ain't
got not insane angel to touch my skin
left
alone with my fucking thoughts
and
they don't impress me, not the way they once did
*
AFRAID IN YOUR GAMES 06/24/08
I'm
just another P.C. faggot
watching
your joking intolerance
turn to
endorsement
fuck
your suburban hell of accidental bigotry
I'm
just another straightedge asshole
and if
I don't live like you
I must
be a threat to anybody like you
right?
your assumptions
are pathetic
insecure
and anorexic
you'll
always hate my guts
cos
I've got the strength to give a fuck
violence,
for no reason
other
than to impress
violence,
you wanna dominate
without
an argument, just blind threats
"macho
insecurity - you can't stand yourself"
your
assumptions are pathetic
insecure
and anorexic
you'll
always hate my guts
cos
I've got the strength to give a fuck
*
HYPOTHETICAL POPULARITY
Somebody
told me if you have enough "friends", on myspace I mean,
you can
get signed with a fucking record label. Automatically.
* DEAD
END PROTEST 07/29/08
protest
all you want
it's
ineffective and boring
passive
observers just nod in shame
they
have no voice in your sob story
get
them to agree (just words)
so
fucking what
still ain't
got no resource
to make
this mean a fuck
did you
want to have voice
or do
you just want to complain
did you
ever actually intend
to
cause anything to change
first
of all
convince
me I should care
but
more important
show me
how I can matter...
* I
hate rave sound systems
all
bass - no substance
drunk
in another way
and
we're on at 5am
so I
gotta wait.
*
1/21/08 MY CHANCES WITH YOU
I'm not
looking for handouts
I know
I'm too old to beg
though
I ain't got much to eat
but still
not sucking down drugs
did I
fuck up my chance with you
cos I'm
not drunk every night
I did
everything I said I'd do
but the
shit you said to me didn't last
I don't
give a fuck what I must taste like
when
you got who knows what up your nose
and really
fucking fast change your plan for tomorrow
as long
as you're warm it don't mean shit if I'm cold
sleep
all day and leeching when you wake up
is this
why I never had a "punk rock girlfriend"
just
reminds me of that girl,
the one
who wanted to be thrown around, scared and scraped up, I ain't with it...
* I
HATE BARS 07/30/08
I'm not
supposed to be here.
You're
right...
I'm not
supposed to be here.
* NOT
EVERYBODY IS "RICH" 04/26/08
have
you ever been hungry and ain't shit you can do about it?
what if
that was every day - not everybody is fucking rich
fuck
your world addicted to jokes and numbing games
like
this world is so safe that we can indulge like it is
that
insistence on luxury and that vicious blind eye
makes
me sick and I'm fucking up against it
same
ultimate bastard
in the
city of angels
*
NEUTRALIZING OPIATE (I HATE DANCE PARTIES) 03/29/08
you say
music has no power to inspire social action,
but
isn't it true it's got the power to pacify and prevent social action?
I'd
rather try to make a mark on this society
than
ensure it remains on its current course
and I
believe music is a historically potent catalyst for social change
though
it's not the change itself
and
hardcore isn't necessarily about music as much as a vital spark
Mark
Sarich was right. I hate dance parties.
entertainment
is a tool as dangerous as a machine gun
who you
gonna point it at and will you kill em when you do?
do you ever
wish you were in a place where people might listen?
cos
they won't here - I promise you they are drunk one way or another
I
promise you they don't give a motherfuck
I
promise that the only reason this matters is because it doesn't matter
will
you be on my end of this gun -
RIGHT NOW
with a
trigger that can break the silence - RIGHT NOW
my
entire life is not a vacation
and I'm
NOT ALIVE TO BE PACIFIED
I'm not
alive to wish I had died!
Right
now I'm in
I wish
I was in
THE
AUDIENCE SUCKS II 08/09/08
the
audience sucks if that's all they want to be
the
passive observer - your attitude is our enemy
exercise
your right to action and your energy to choose
prove you
have a voice! convince me you've got a point of view
the
audience sucks -
but
I've got the energy to give a fuck
the
audience sucks -
your
name, so say it, or I'll just assume you are no one.