REALICIDE YOUTH RECORDS

Robert Inhuman

Lyrics 2004

 

 

DRUNKEN SUICIDE (Realicide live 2004)

 

stabbed with blood

drops of your blood

exit the earth

fall inside my heart

 

some things i keep safe

and some things i let rot

your hands i keep safe!

and my hands i let rot!

 

even after your face is torn off on the street

i'll want want want want!

 

cut off your hands

cut off your face

 

sacrfice - open eyes

grinding out my only wish

"blood is like wine

unconscious all the time

if i had it all again i'd change it all"

 

open eyes - drunk for my own exit

surpass

surpass value and protected life

leave

leave behind scraps of my body

that tiny shell, my body

 

 

 

* KAMIKAZE HUNT (Realicide “let’s do this shit”)

 

only hypothetical

and not worth some kamikaze hunt

looking for what

looking for an exotic place to know about misery and near-death

i don't have anybody with me

my cide is a kamikaze hunt

anti-hypothetical and actual

although i'm gonna die out here

 

i have to be somewhere when i die

anti-hypothetical

 

... some form of worth

wasting my time

kamikaze

misery-hell

 

lonliness-hell

hypothetical but becoming real

so real, so real

without-worth-hell

 

 

 

* ENEMY OF GLAM NOISE (Realicide “let’s do this shit”)

 

why are you doing this

just another trend

unjustifiable

empty, paper-thin

 

glamour noise fuck off

don't say shit you don't mean

untrue to yourself

and misrepresenting what's real

 

fashion noise - fuck off

 

 

 

* I HATE MUSEUMS (Realicide “let’s do this shit”)

 

self-congradulatory ancestoral masterbation

your roots curated by rich cocksuckers

with no perspective that can represent anyone's life

 

i hate museums

they are opposed to life

burn and smash museums from the inside out

don't collect shit you can't live by please!

 

 

 

* YALL AINT BRUTAL QUIT FRONTIN (Realicide “let’s do this shit”)

 

phony brutal bullshit

you're quiet

you're all hype

 

cunts - sitting in chairs

macho cunt - get nailed by a chair

cunts - fucking scared, timid, all talk

"get bucked and ask why"

 

 

 

DRUNKEN SUICIDE II (Realicide live 2004)

 

stabbed with blood

your tiny shell wrung out before me

so young but you force me to cum

 

in my dreams

in my dreams

in my dreams you will be

wrung out before me

your cum drips inside me

but when i wake

your life it shakes and trembles every drop of your blood

exits your body

torn off on the street

 

escape myself

escape myself

taking too long

i cannot give any more

i want

i want

and i'm gonna escape myself

 

 

 

* OUTCASTS OF HARDCORE (“IDENTITY”)

 

your mind is made up before you ever met me

or saw my face or heard the shit I have to say

you'd treat this like a TV show

but I don't play my shit that way

you talk big game about open accepting youth culture

but you don't know shit about youth culture!!!

all you know about is tricking kids

into giving you power over their paranoid and nervous social circles...

 

keeping those in

 

in

 

and keeping those out

 

out

 

out out out we are outcasts of hardcore

 

 

 

* DEAD AND GROUND FLAT UPON CEMENT (Realicide)

 

your tiny body crushed

die on sidewalk or die in the center of a cement highway

crushed mechanically

in a way that stops your gutted little body from disappearing into the earth

wrenched-out body remains on conrete to be ground flat and gutted

by human worse than human-

gutted by the distanced tools of a human apathy and choice to ignore fault

 

human - killing with thick gloves on!

 

human - remote control executed pestilence destiny - human

 

 

 

* KILLED BY GABBER (Realicide “Shred Your Body”)

 

i'd kiss your feet as you walk on my face

and wear the small clothes that once contained your parts

finally able to cum unlike your young cunt

more than romantic and much more than you are

a

self-desecrated succubus tease with nothing to say

sloth-ridden candy

sleeping stunted starving away

throughout your life and your candy turns from sticky to stale

the inertia of a rapist runs up into your future

 

yo i've learned to shed my skin

and my misery can change day by day

games just don't mean shit to me

and play no role in what i have to say

 

i want to be killed by gabber

so come with me sweet candy, sweet heart

we're gonna die

and you know you're lying to me when you say that you will follow

so alone i'm killed by gabber!

yeah e-z cum e-z fucking go!

 

 

 

* IN THIS SHIT WORLD (“Hentai Gore Fall 2004”)

 

I tried and I tried and I tried until my voice was gone

and my guts were bled dry

to secure my future with somebody that was worth living for

a pure and endless love unconditional and everplentiful love for someone

no this shit has failed and I found out

it's what I'll want but I won't have

so I'll settle for somebody who will make me sick everyday

and somebody I cannot relate to in any way

she will never understand the words I say

and when I stare I look straight through this girl at a wall

and that's the best now and I'll be staring at a wall

"if I can't have what I want I don't want anything"

so why are you are

why am I trying to touch you

in this shit world we touch eachother but cannot love eachother

I will shave away my years with girls that secretly don't mean anything to me

 

music is the absence of love

everything I do is an expression of pain

every choice I make results in pain

so perverve, life is an expression of sadness

but even more perverse - the life spent concealing sadness

and denying the absence of love

 

 

 

* I SHOULD HAVE DIED (Realicide “Kamikaze HK”)

 

i've absolutely never felt more since the day i threw my body away

never more convinced

never more for sure

never more on top ready to die

one act says everything i've wanted to tell anybody

 

and since then i've only known less

never more convinced

never more convinced

the day i was ready to die

 

 

 

* TRUTHFULLY UNABLE TO KNOW

 

words bucking at me in such a way that stamps out every tear welled up in my body

wrenched a bath of tears until dry

all i say is an advertisement for a secret or alien pain - to relate to a vague deja vu

but still alien and ultimately desolate

 

- - to relate to

- to know the words another may use - -

but alien, unknown, and truthfully alone after all that

 

 

 

* GOT YA BACK

 

"love changes, a thug changes, and best friends become strangers-"

turned your back

stabbed in the back

i got your back

 

but you're best to watch your front

who's gonna kick you in the guts

trust versus luck

when i had your back why'd you let me get fkked-

 

 

 

FISTFUL OF KNIVES

 

"get a whole! get a whole fistful!"

of knives

 

too drunk to tremble

gripping fistfuls of knives

sawing through my hands

-          faster! than glass! oh yeah!

 

 

 

ALTERNATIVES TO LOVE

 

you started a family to force someone to love you

in this world where you don't look right to be known by people strong enough to exact love

so you made some new people like lifelong whipping boys

supposed to love you although brought into the same world..

that will not show attention or affection to them so they are stuck with you

never knowing anything more, never knowing you fall short

never knowing love by free will or what it is to be alive

 

i've become aware of sins like this and i know that i'm in that and that i'm alone

i'm not afraid to look at myself in the mirror anymore

and i will never bring a life into this shit world as my whipping boy

 

 

 

WORTH EVAPORATES

 

"jump out of a window

get run over by a car

go out and drown"

(get it over with now)

 

i cannot see a future

i cannot see the worth

i spend each day remembering

things said and done in my life and others i seen pass me by

worth ahhh only for the moment

nothing i know lasts long or comes to be

value evaporates immediately

truth and attention and sincerity disolve really fast

 

 

 

SONG FOR WORTHLESS LOVERS

 

though i'm right beside you my heart is very far away

and i am alone when awake regardless of you

when i'm asleep i'm not alone anymore

so i will sleep for years on end into death regardless of you.

 

you cannot fill the void the pit

cut out and shaped for another

you can never know my love outside of rumor

and i will never learn to need you

 

or want you with the white hot desire that struck me down

and broke my future for a want for another

you won't know

about addiction and unconditional passion

that passes by health and worth and time altogether

you won't know

what it is to have these eyes blind yours as they burn

into the center of you

that is only for someone else.

 

 

 

I TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO ACTION

 

words cannot describe the sorrow that I feel, that you double

as I saw your body for a moment

I am a hypocrite

and I have nothing real to call my own

as youth evaporates and I run through hollow actions

that have no intent of speaking to you

or licking you even one time

 

no it won't happen cos I

decided at my youngest possible age that it was not gonna happen

 

I am a hypocrite

and you bring me only more sorrow

let me live or let me die

but I do neither - I always choose neither.

 

and I wanted you so so bad

and these words will not make anybody understand

sorrow is my own

everybody watchin out for their own gifts of sadness

so that nobody is listening to one another

I promise that I know

every second of every year I choose to remain alone

 

 

 

FUCK OFF TECHNO HIPPIES!!!

 

what is there behind your clever timing, clever words

if everything is so 'ok' why are you trying to scream it like me

and after you're screaming still can't understand hardcore

 

your prejudices come out in private fkkker!!!

 

prejudice in private!

public smiley face OK!

everything is right to techno hippies! noise hippies! fuck off!!!!

 

 

 

SAME SHIT EMPEROR

 

four more years of being hostage to a rich man who will pay to play a hero

and push my generation into graves that should be his and his old friends

 

four more years to watch a rich man save the world with just one hand

while he pumps his cock with the other hand

 

this has nothing to do with any god

this is about material glory bought that with the cash

to keep lots of people afraid of his friends

 

i can tell you now that i'll never die in iraq

and i can also tell you that this ain't about no god

just some human grandeur

 

rich bastards playing emperors

i got no interest in any rules they decide to make

 

 

 

HOME IS WHERE I MAKE TAPES

 

my walkman is the only comfort in a mundane hell that sucks

all the minutes out of each day

low battery yet hardcore and always alone

riding the bus and walking in the rain

to no place I can really call a home

just a place I can sleep and make tapes like

"oceans apart, day after day, and I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line but it doesn't stop the pain"

 

 

 

MORE, MORE, MORE, and even MORE

 

now now now

complete deliberate attitude bloodshed

 

knives

fistful

firing out hard

 

...get the fkkkk off the world I'm trying to lynch hardcore!

so I get more, more, more, and even more!..

 

 

 

* TASTE OF BLOOD

 

your tiny body crushed

 

taste of blood

taste of blood

 

and I'm sorry

 

the perfect

can't touch hands like this

 

 

 

CAN’T LIVE LIKE I USED TO

 

live in pain, drunk and screaming alone

the last time I looked at you and I spelled it all out drunk

not interested in goodnight, I cut to 'goodbyes'

more dramatic, more actual, my lifelong pain is a 'goodnight'

like I can't live like I used to for you

limbs got they limits

drunk screaming like 'waiting'

 

 

 

<3<3.. i love you and want your body as my own

 

 

 

YES, I'M GOING TO DIE

 

goodbye friends thankyou

yes, i'm going to die

who wants to come with me

i have to go

there's nothing for me here

anywhere i go

anywhere i go

and none of you come with me

pre-suicide inertia

post-inertia suicide

 

a list of names, sorted out

to say goodbye

i won't forget anyone or anything

that i've ever wanted no matter how much

 

now you - now you - now all of you

i wanna see you wait for me

for a long time

pre-suicide inertia

post-inertia suicide

 

 

 

* WANT RUNS THIN

 

want runs so thin

finite in every way

 

i feel drained

i feel close to dead

whatever that means

 

 

 

PORNO-AUDIENCE

 

i'm alone - i don't know who you are

my audience is pornography

can y'all make me cum

can you make me give a fkk about you

 

illusion of capacity

false identification

you don't know my name

friends, lovers, you don't know my name

 

superficial assumptions

catalyst for masterbation at best

inherently alienated

"good advice" - that's shit

coincidence at best

 

i don't need a playful face

or try to communicate

when she looks at me

waiting to play that tired game

 

 

 

BOILING UP

 

now i boil up with a suffocating jealousy

- i know what i want

i know exactlt what i want

 

i want your untouched life

tender anatomy

tender experiences

heaven clockwork world

 

that's not the world i was born in

that's not the place i die in

 

tender friends

perfect anatomy affection

yeah yeah yeah watch this - i fall short

i fall under the ground

 

even disease even terrible shht

is so pretty in some people's life

 

... i know very much what it is to be so close

to a life fulfilling and worthwhile

in arm's reach

your life breathing so sweetly

but my satisfaction is only in hypothetical resolution

 

 

 

LIVE THIS WAY AND CARRY ON

 

i'll tell you how it feels to wait

yeah what should i care about

what is there in this whole place

that can reach the center of me

 

day by day

live this way and carry on

crumby substitutes

- what i want - what i want

give me the real thing

substitutes up in here no

- i'm begging for better

- what i want

live this way and carry on

substitutes

- just like knives

give me the real thing

 

i already noticed -

the real things in this world are still flimsy and feeble

all night awake thinking; building - i want something real

come on sweetheart - why you always gotta fall apart?

move faster - breathe more - convince me i should care

 

 

 

THERE IS NO PAYOFF

 

i am both driven and bound by want.

i can't think straight

i can't think of anything and

i can't figure out a system of worth that will last

nihil nihil

driven and bound by want

if i can't have what i want

i don't want worth

i don't want the world

i don't want anything

 

- fast asleep - struggling to die

what pays off

what is for certain

death

when am i gonna die

 

 

 

i can fit a gumball machine inside my cunt (No Candy 2004)

 

 

 

the physical distance has dissolved my interest

 

in my dreams you had pink hair

still weren’t thinking of me of course

in my dreams – didn’t bother to notice

in my life you never noticed of course

a passive “right on”

means “I am not listenning; I have no plans to understand.”

now these things seem so distant

the physical distance has dissolved my interest

and even though I kept on failing, now at least I'm far away

 

thousands of miles can cure some things

cos when I came home it's like you don't mean nothing to me

thousands of miles like a lobotomy

glory to my new life! that won't get wasted on you.

all you are is a stepped on, dried up, and dead flower bought

off the street, chillin in dirt on the dashboard

of a wrecked up buick, you tease, you tiny candy...

 

 

 

(CIDE index)