mplr1

REALICIDE YOUTH RECORDS

Robert Inhuman

Lyrics 2001

* I want to die. (recorded over a slowed down Mavis track summer 2001)

OH I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE

MY FACE CRACKS MIRRORS, MY FACE BURNS EYES

SO I’LL NEVER LOOK AT ANOTHER LIGHT
AS YEARS LIMP BY I’LL NEVER

HEAR THE WORDS THAT I’VE CAST IN COPPER INSIDE

I WANT TO LIFT SOMEONE’S HONESTY UP HIGH

I WANT TO HOLD SOMEONE’S SECRETS INSIDE

BEFORE I DIE

I WANT TO DIE

I TRIED TO BUILD MY HOME AROUND LIFE

I TRIED TO LOCK THE HATRED OUTSIDE

BUT APATHY MANIFESTS IN MY FRIEND’S EYES

AND HE DOESN’T SPEND MUCH TIME

WONDERING WHY I DON’T SLEEP AT NIGHT

WHY I WON’T EAT TO SAVE MY OWN LIFE

UNTIL I DIE

I WANT TO DIE

WHEN I REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES WELL SPENT

I WONDER WHERE THE JOY IN LIFE WENT

MY HAND IS EMPTY AND WHEN IT’S NOT

I FEEL LIKE A MARTYR TO SUCKING COCK

I FEEL LIKE I’LL NEVER BE SWEET AGAIN

I FEEL LIKE I’LL TAKE THIS MEANESS TO MY DEATHBED

AND WHEN I DIE

I’LL OPEN WIDE

THE SLIVER EYES

ONCE SWOLLEN BLIND

AND THE CREULTY IN MY HEART MUST THEN RESIDE

IN SOMEONE ELSE’S SULLEN LIFE

I WILL NOT DIE

I WILL NOT DIE TO BE A CELEBRATION OF DEMISE

* waterbed (“Day”)

STARE AS IF MY EYES WERE STARLIT GLASS

I CAN LOOK AT YOU WE SHARE THE SECONDS THAT NEVER PASS

I HAVEN’T ONCE HIT THE GROUND SINCE I MET YOU I DON’T LOOK DOWN

THIS BEAUTIFUL NIGHT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AT LAST

LYING THERE TOGETHER UNDER THE MOONLIT

BEAUTY BREAK THE PAIN IN ME THE PRETTIEST GIRL IS YOU

THE SUSPENSE WAS AS PURE AS THE BLUE SHOWN THROUGH

THE WINDOW TO THE WATERBED IN THE DRUMSET BEDROOM

REALITY WRECKED BY BROKEN RULES

THE STILLNESS OF THOSE HOURS PROVED

THAT YEARS TRIP BY DON’T TAINT MY VIEW

“…Would it be too forward if I were to kiss you?”

“no.”

THE STARS WERE IN YOU ALL ALONG

ALL MY LIFE I’VE LIVED FOR YOU ALL ALONG

HOLD MY HAND ARMY JACKET ORANGE HAIR

AND SINK IN THE MUSIC – NEVER LOOK BACK

1,461

water sand grass rope-net

yellow swimsuit

at a lake neverending

follow her anywhere

she's far away from everywhere

(backdrop of kids trees wood plastic stone)

safe deposit of all innocence

and when we feel so bad it's always waiting

I'll always have the lake and you.

A naked girl is pornographic so every girl is pornography.

"stereotunk rock"

The most beautiful thing people do are done when they're not people.

* BRITNI HAS THE SPARK ("Night")

my mind is so narrow like the pen that i use to draw

and i've only one thing to say which on some days

seems to me hardly worth saying at all

got a brain full of fuzz, flanged thoughts, pillbugs...

simmilation - she's the chroma pressed up against that grey wall

britni do you have the spark

fuel of my life i don't know who you are

i know i look like a jerk but i want to spend my time around you

energy - energy couldn't come too soon

pink is the color of the flowers that do grow

on the fresh soundscapes

there are always young girls to laugh and play

and radiate - energy

* 1,726 ("Night")

i'm dreaming of a pretty voice

laced with magic that i understand

it's thick with violins and watch

i an even hold it in my hands

the sounds in me -

they sever the weather of a callous scam

another lucky break, this is what it takes

just ti be happy again

* IN A DRAWER ("Day")

she needs to keep me company

live in a drawer in my room

live in the bluest sky behind the glass

my window keeps me in

friendly

glasshoppre front yard

trees joyfully applaud in breeze

i like the porch and i like the street made of candy

so sweet

we play in those murky days with pillbug friends

and lit sparkler sticks

- snaring love button

* TIGHT SLEEVES ("Night")

"I like the shape of your body

but just can't say much for substance.

You're a pretty kid with a kind tone,

but you've nothing to say - such a waste of song..."

how to make friends

how to get girls to like you

how to be happy you're alive and not dead...

a song that's all bridges...

the girl is so tiny - she walks

she assures me that oxygen is outside the box

her shoulders and her tapered waist

those arms, slender sweet, though they are

they might as well drop off

there's an angel glitter with another

tilt, she's so cute, but i get no spark so haven't time for

"listen Adrienne, i don't breathe oxygen anymore..."

you had little red shoes and sleeves that kept my mind

so take my dormant daydream and tack it to rewind

...if i've got nothing better to do than bore you, that's fine.

(a girl that doesn't breathe oxygen...)

* FOURTEEN ("Day")

i can't believe this could happen to me

where i was blind (now i can see) fourteen

and her face was looking at me

i held her hand with my secrets and sincerities

i was a boy with brown eyes 5 cd's and a small book for graphite

and the whole world swam in color not gray,

fireworks and new new new things to say

i talked to a girl from my room, my sunlight brain and my silver moon

listen to the sound!

and i wanted more than anything for that girl to be around

an image burned into my heart

and a telephone laced onto my head

light shines!

and i still remember what she said -

it's perfect

so perfect

(i love you)

you let your boyfriend go and i made you a tape

i'll meet you at a movie that i've already seem on sunday

you'll know how special i am

and you'll never have to grow old if you'll just hold my hand

she said i was perfect

so perfect

i love you

* FIREFLIES (OSHEN) ("Day")

your little smile makes me want to be such a better man

made of gold with words that last also

i could hang myself above the crowd and shout this loud well i suppose

do you love me now that i've poured out all my hopes

i'm alive for you

my one and only sky

my love for you

blistered and tempered - it's all wrong - it's alright

i stare at you cos i've got no insight

wishing every memory always gets me

so high high high

you're nothing less than perfect i hope you know

an ageless beauty secretly unfolds

you're nothing less than perfect i hope you know

all these promises i offer

none of them will ever hold

i survive for you

i try i try i try

my one and only

the way i live this life

i stare at the fireflies

to glow for me on summer nights

and i haven't got much in me

and i'm not certain i'm alive

though i may have died

i'm always here for you tonight

and i watch the clock click digits

sealed in this bed, this coffin which so often

silences the sweetest things i've ever said

you're the light i dream about running through blind eyes

now open so wide!

you're the romance of twilight

and radiant sunshine!

and when to me you're speaking scream that i'm your one and only

tell me you'll be mine

when i think of you my darling, i can do anything

i can even fly

* SHIT 4 REALITY! (originally recorded solo late 2001?, Realicide live 2003, 2006-07, “The Shit Punks Hate”)

my little boy will grow up to be just like me

and when my children see the badge they will fall down to their little knees

my little girl will turn the tricks that turn this world

these children are my ethnocentric entities

just like me

shit for reality

just like me

my mother and my father raped my mind and shut my eyes

now i'll raise my kids to be the part of me that i despise

for me it's always worked to turn the tricks that make this world so stern

next generation is no problem-o-mine so i get drunk and count the days

before - i - die!

shit for reality

don't make waves and you will pave the way to keep the world the same

don't make waves that's what i say we've got the keep this world insane

i will never know my own name

i will stay alive just to complain

i'll convince myself that things don't change

and i will hang myself with these cold chains

shit for reality

just like me

* DISEASE CARRIER (“low Budget Cliché)

a retreat: the collector

yet a worm mounted on a board

grandeur canopic jars one way reflector

wanna be king of the pixel thorns

spent epiphany as amputation just to keep warm

he touches the shriveled weed: off the clock and never born

stay alive - as parasite

feed off lives - no reason why

you paralyze - pay mental fines

your cells are alive though you've already died

a retreat: disinfector

a rotting worm tacked to a board

you rewind me of my father

knife sunk in he's made of rubber

and you bleed semen just like him

this song is just to let you know

you're an asshole

and i am the vandal in your life

NAPALM SHIVER

this world is on its last legs

technology - hidden agenda and concealed dimwit

don't sit in a tall building unless you wanna get fucked

unless you wanna go down with it

* OUT OF THE WORLD'S REACH ("Day")

first day when the sky was bluer than the night

if there ever was a time that i knew i was alright

it has got to be that day at the beach

only ones that ever were the only ones out of the world's reach

the kids were just din but i swear i could not hear them

i just sat with you and thought of you after you left

the things we said you know they seemed important then

and still do now cos they keep me from the steepest edge

you took me and you turned my head

i guess that i've been looking in the same direction ever since

what's there to say once you're alive

the sun shines so bright i love it up high!

the day i was happy, two more years and i died

first day when the sky was bluer than the night

* MOVIE THEATRE ("Day")

i thought of you ever second i could think

the horrors in my life suddenly didn't mean anything

i got a phone call we could travel to the cinema

and i flew there like a bullet, i couldn't wait to be with you my love

yeah yeah yeah i don't care what awful film we saw

as long as for a couple of hours i could stare at ya

your wide eyes blinked and i'd look away

but we came closer and closer (as in never and always)

then as i recall "is this okay?" you asked me

we had met at the hand and let me tell you something Katie

i felt full of light and i knew nothing could kill me

girl did you notice you put the whole world beneath me

and we soared from that dimlit theater

through the bright clouds - that summer of forever

(a love greater than reality!)

we came to the house and we dreamt all the evening away...

LIZZY

each second of my time you slip away

you were the one who would whimper on those grainy days

with me

lizzy

did i ever let you understand i care

did you think of me when you were sitting there

i love you lizzy

more than you will ever know

each moment we are fading

but god will tell you that i love you so much

lizzy

i will let you know

you have got to know

lizzy i love you i hope you know.

(CIDE index)