Robert Inhuman
interview with Lara of Big Nurse and Double Trouble (
Lara: how was Realicide born?
Robert: In my late teens I wanted to get involved
with a punk band that wasn’t necessarily a “punk rock” band in its mission. I
wanted punk to revert back to the experimental nature I saw the work in the
70’s as having, stuff like Suicide, Screamers, Throbbing Gristle, Nervous
Gender. I wanted that attitude with contemporary materials and language. It’s
been great the past few years to learn what languages are available for new
music this decade and also to find so many other artists with a similar drive
all around the world.
you always have so many projects, bands, shows
going on... how did you get so motivated?
I’ve always had a fairly obsessive tendency to
catalogue and archive my experiences. One thing being a performer offers is a
string of easily sortable experiences date by date that can act as bookmarks or
page numbers for a life. I don’t know how necessary this is but it is part of
the appeal for me anyway.
Aside from that I think upon becoming aware of
my own mortality I felt a terrible obligation to stay active whenever I can
stomach it. I want to be very active at all times and have something to show
for myself down the line. The point I’m at now however is the matter of
“working smarter not harder” and begin to more-so make the things I choose to
be involved in demand a certain potency, even if my number of activities
doesn’t continue to multiply I want the things I choose to focus on count for a
lot more. When it comes down to it I want to construct a sense of legitimate
worth for myself and inactivity doesn’t usually appear to offer much for that.
Also, a line I saw written on a friend’s desk once that said “action is the
antidote to despair” which really stuck with me, as I manage to carry a great
deal of… umm, despair… down most avenues of my life.
you have a really unique vocal style. very
inhuman. is this something you've developed over time or did it just come out
one day?
My voice has generally gone through the
following evolution as far as I’ve noticed: yelling, then eventually screaming
(more desperate and strengthened yelling), then exaggerated screaming (like
grindcore, the highs and lows become more drastic, although I’ve never been an
inhaler or much for low growling), then choking and gagging…
The gagging techniques I began regularly
incorporating in 2005 were based on an experience I had May 2004 alone in my
apartment with MD 20/20 and a talkboy taperecorder. I was basically trying to
scratch up my throat by screaming but choking at the same time, like trying to
scream while gagging on the Mad Dog which I didn’t enjoy drinking (like any
alcoholic drink really). It really tore up my throat and I felt it was an
appropriate physical consequence to the desperate and anxiety-drenched night
I’d had. Later I’d experiment at shows by forcing myself to heave loudly and
sometimes cough up bile. I felt it to be an obvious accessory to the aggressive
vocal styles I’d been influenced by and, since I wasn’t very good at menacing
low-end and inhaled techniques, I thought I could try the choking and gagging
as a supplement to the screaming elements. Very aggressive and much less
lyrical, more raw.
After that later 2005 I decided I’d like to
experiment with other kinds of extreme vocal performance. Pornography came to
mind, specifically the aggressive female orgasm which has been one of my
favorite forms of acapella since my pre-teens. I’d had some experience
imitating these sounds in the past and thought it was a very reasonable and
correct element to inject into my public performances. I tried adding the
orgasm simulations to certain parts of the set with Hentai Lacerator for
instance. But the sounds were supposed to appear strictly female. I thought the
gagging and hxc screaming was male enough, besides I have never been a fan of
male orgasm sounds.
Now I am interested in reverting to more
lyric-based and decipherable styles. Speaking, singing, and yelling. I want to
focus on presenting the words with more orthodox coherency for the time being.
do you worry a lot?
In many ways yes and I think I always have. I
worry about truth and the balance of when it is right to entertain delusions
almost all of the time. I am always concerned that I am being dishonest with
myself or that I am not seeing the world, myself, and my experiences clearly or
truthfully. On the other hand I guess I don’t worry a great deal about other
things like recreation, money to spend on stuff, or scoring a job to get
settled into…
where are the cool places to hang out in
I’m not really sure, I might be one of the worst
people to ask these days. I mainly just go to
how do you feel about the academic world?
If you mean the institutional education world
then my answer is “very malicious and resentfully” and if you mean the honing
of skills and trades in an almost scientific manner I guess my answer would be
“cautious and guarded.” I watch out to be aware of and usually opposed to the
avocation of parlour tricks and one-liner scam crash-course hacks who will use
their roles as our elders or book-smart-memorizers to imply that my respect is
automatically theirs’. You think you can teach me something? Prove it and
without talking down to me.
do you have, like, a real job?
I fold clothes at night at the mall. The place
is straight evil and it’s one of the weakest elements in my life. I can assure
you at least I never work very hard and basically don’t ever have to show up if
I have better things to do. It’s a joke job like every job I’ve had. I want to
find alternative sources of income to replace the need for jobs like this in my
near future.
do you have any pets?
The dog I grew up with is still at my mom’s
house and she turned 17 this month. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a pet myself
because I have trouble with the direct responsibility over a life, also human
authority over animal life although I know it’s going to happen all the time
regardless of this single decision. I live with a girl who has a dog and
sometimes other animals though. If it was her way we would have like 10 dogs or
cats each and they’d all be running in a circle around us in one room.
what are your favorite foods?
I don’t enjoy eating very much but I like pizza
most of the time, and candy until I eat a lot and it makes a sore in my mouth.
I drink a lot of soda. My diet is very very bad.
how is your foetus cover project coming along?
Very very slowly. A handful of people have
expressed interest the past year but no tracks have been completed or turned in
yet. Understandably so, I mean it is Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel after all. I
have also been trying to get in touch with Thirlwell himself for approval and
feedback, but no luck yet.
you are a self-described misanthrope who wants
to "disassociate from humanity's values". what values do you mean
specifically? do you believe that these values are inherent to human beings
(i.e. genetic), or are they tied to culture (and therefore subject to willful
change)?
I am generally referring to a self-serving and
completely irresponsible behavior consistent throughout the species. The values
like “manifest destiny” or any attitude humanity has of “if we can do it we
should” cos that’s the lack of discipline that has got our planet into the mess
it’s in. The popular attitude of superiority over all other life, very pompous.
I feel like we might be the most powerful species and most able to alter our
surroundings but superiority to me would entail the wisdom to use this power
with responsibility and never in ways to ruin the place for everyone, human and
all others.
The question of chicken or egg, nature or
nurture, is tough as usual. I think yeah we might actually be programmed to
destroy and wreck, but I believe in the power to change and edit your own life
and behaviors, through a self-repression that will yield a certain level of
wisdom and refuse to contribute to the problems, the necessary self-control
that could allow mercy on a guilty species, allow us to live here without being
complete assholes all the time… this is a very hard self-control to have and
remains largely my ideal and not reality, but I look forward to getting
stronger to move towards being the person I feel I ought to be.
I don’t believe in solutions, human solutions I
mean. I believe in dropping out and refusing to locomote the earth’s problems, but
I know that the solutions to these problems will need to come from an authority
completely inhuman, non-human I mean, some reasoning that surpasses our
capacity of reasoning.