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| SUICIDE |
| Depression and issues with self-esteem are usually internal conflicts. Thousands of teens who look happy and care-free on the outside are in deep emotional pain and screaming for help on the inside. Because many teens feel that they cannot talk to friends or family, these issues stay locked inside until the breaking point is reached. People usually attempt suicide to escape or block intense emotional pain caused by a wide variety of problems. A person who is willing to attempt suicide may not think of anyone they can turn to. HELP IS AVAILABLE. IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING SUICIDE, READ THIS FIRST! If you are considering suicide, please stop and read this first. It will only take about five minutes of your time. We are not psychiatrists and we do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. We are merely youth who know what it is like to feel pain. We don't know who you are or why you are reading this page. We can assume you are troubled and considering ending your life. We won't argue with you about whether or not you should kill yourself. We simply have five practical things we would like to share with you. You're still reading, and that is a good thing. Hopefully you'll stay with us long enough to finish reading this page. If you're still reading, that may mean that somewhere inside you are a tiny bit unsure about ending your life. Often people are unsure about death even in the deepest despair. Being unsure about death is OK and normal. Please consider this statement: "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds the resources available for coping with pain." You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even necessarily mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If we were to pile weights on your shoulders, you would eventually collapse - no matter how badly you want to keep standing. Of course you would cheer yourself up if you could. If someone tells you that your problems aren't bad enough to be suicidal about, don't listen to them. There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not pain is bearable differs from person to person. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to deal with pain. When pain exceeds coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an inbalance of pain and coping resources. You can survive your suicidal feelings if you do one of two things, or both: 1) find a way to reduce your pain or 2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible. Now, here are five things to think about: 1. People do get through this - even people who are feeling as much pain as you are right now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. Perhaps this will give you some sense of hope. 2. Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything to end my life." Or, maybe instead of 24 hours, a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two seperate things. Just because you feel like killing yourself right now, doesn't mean you have to act on that and actually do it. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and your suicidal actions - even if it's only 24 hours. The fact that you have read this far is very encouraging. 3. People often turn to suicide because they are seeking a relief from from their pain. That relief is a feeling, and you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek if you are dead. 4. Some people may react badly to your suicidal feelings. Remember that this is because of their own fear and/or anger. Their reaction may even increase your pain instead of helping you, however, you have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you. There are people who will help you through this difficult time without judging you or arguing with you, without sending you to a hospital or trying to talk you out of your feelings. They will simply care for you. Find one of those people - NOW. Use your 24 hours, or your week, to tell someone what's going on with you. It is perfectly OK to ask for help. You can try calling 1-800-SUICIDE or see our list of links. Don't give yourself the additional burden of dealing with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are helps release a lot of pressure and might just be the coping resource you need to regain your balance. 5. Suicidal feelings are traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a good idea - we know from experience. There are also many self-help groups in communities across the continent and on the internet. Find one that can help you deal with what you're feeling. Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with us. We're really glad. Since you've made it so far, we think you should give yourself a gift. That gift is a coping resource. Remember, the idea is to have more coping resources than you have pain. So let's give you another coping resource - or two, or ten! - until your resources outnumber your sources of pain. This page may have given you some small relief. However, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone you can talk to and who will listen, you've already built your coping resource bank. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There are plenty of people out there who would love to hear from you. It's time to start looking around for them. Now, we'd like you to call someone. Remember: Suicide is a FOREVER Decision!!! STATS ~ Suicide is the number three (3) cause of death for young people between the ages of 15-24. ~ Eight out of ten people who attempt suicide tell someone about it before they do it. ~ Suicide is often a "cry for help" that ends in tragedy. A Note from Lindsay I had my own brush with suicide on March 24th, 2001. There are a lot of things about the whole incident that I will never forget - the pain I felt, taking the pills, the trip to the hospital, my emergency treatment, and the pain in my mom's eyes at the hospital and afterwards. I made it through my trying and difficult time, and I'm very glad that I did. Once I realised that I didn't really want to die, things got a whole lot better. I talked to a counsellor, to my mom, and to close friends. I wrote poetry. In fact, one of my post-suicide-attempt poems is on this site. You can read it here. I made it through - and you can too! If you are suicidal or know someone who is, I urge you to hang on. LIFE WILL GET BETTER - IT ALWAYS DOES! There is help available if you choose to use it! Visit Our MEMORIAL PAGE |
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