The
GREEN MONSTER
President Unexplained Phenomena Advisory Board
(PUPAB)
Report
October 28, 1996
Incident Report
Location: Claire Ridge, Iowa
Description: Unexplained Vehicular Disturbance, Reported Supernatural Activity
Level 4 Incident
Multiple Fatalities
Evidence
(See Accompanying Photographs- Lot No. 124-23)
Item 1: Frame, 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle Super Sport LS-6 (Heavily damaged in explosion)
Item 2: Engine, Chevrolet, 8 Cylinder, 454 Big Block, consistent with vehicle
Item 3: Flecks of green and black automotive paint
Witness Testimony
Witness, John Hawkins, Student, Claire High:
"I saw it come down the road, down Route 8. It was noon, I remember that, but it had its high beams on. Double headlights. An old car. A real old car.
It knew it was that guy -sorry, I never knew him- in his old car. A chevy. A big one. Made a hell of a lot of noise, I tell you that. The goddamn thing rattled the windows. It probably spewed smog like you wouldn't believe. I don't know how he afforded the gas."
Witness, Elmore Clearfield, Student
"It was Ernie's car. He had an old Chevelle. An SS, I think, with a big block. He got killed in it. Flipped it over on Route 8, driving like a maniac on his way to school. The car, and whoever was driving it, were really humping. Can I say humping? It must have been going ninety, maybe a hundred. It was a lot louder than it ever was, too."
Sandra Phillips, Clearfield, Student
"It came into the parking lot, like fast, and its tires squealed. The windows were all fogged. It was a big green car with black stripes. Everybody was coming in off the busses. Then it� it�"
Note: Witness was unable to continue testimony
Robert Erickson, Clearfield, Auto Shop Teacher
"It was a green Chevelle SS with a big block. I had one when I was a kid, an orange one. It was loud, though. Too loud. It was like the engine was at 4,000 RPM even while it idled forward across the parking lot. The windows were fogged up, but it was September, and they shouldn't have been.
"The kid that owned the car was in my class. I knew him. I helped him put a new steering column in the thing, as a matter of fact. He called it the Green Monster, I guess that fits it. He was a nice enough kid, the girls liked him, but he got beat up every once in a while. He never would have used the car as a weapon, I know that. But we heard about the green paint on the cars that had been rammed, and the person that was run over on Main Street, and then he flipped the car going to fast on Ohmygod Curve. Sorry, that's a local nickname. The kid never drove it like a maniac. I used to yell at him, he didn't keep the RPMs high enough after he put his new cam in.
"So that car- the kid was dead, he couldn't have been driving- lined up the stretch of lot between the bus lanes and the front doors. It sat there for a minute. The driver was probably thinking of what he was going to do. The weird part was that the car wasn't hurt at all- it looked brand new."
"After it sat there, it gunned and fell off, then lurched forward a little, and the kids started hurrying towards the building, and then the guy must have just decided- the engine screamed like a demon from hell and the tires smoked and it just blasted through the lane. I thought I was dreaming. It was throwing kids up in the air, bouncing them over its hood and running over them. It swerved to hit some of the students. It absolutely mangled them, and then it went up the parking lot and spun around at full speed and came back. The scary thing was that there was no damage to the car- not even a dent. And no blood on it, not even on the tires."
Larry Filmore, Bus Driver
"So this Chevy turned around and started to come back. All the kids weren't inside, and I was a little slow, cause I was shocked, see?
"I closed the doors to the bus and told the kids in the back to get in their seats, cause I was gonna ram her. I was out in front of the line, and when the car came back, I dropped it into gear and floored it. I hit it head on. It had to be goin' forty. Easy. The front end of the bus jumped up and we turned over. The glass only broke in the front, which was good for the kids, who were in the back. They all landed on their sides, and a couple broke their arms, but they weren't hurt real bad- yet.
"It came back around and started rammin' the bus, on the roof. It rammed it and dented it in right in the middle, then it must have backed up and floored it, cause it almost cut the bus in half. There was bent and sheared metal scrapin' the sides of it, but it didn't hurt the paint.
"It pulled out and kept rammin. It pushed us across the parking lot until we went up onto the sidewalk. I don't know how it got enough power to push the bus, but it did. It pushed us right in through the glass doors and into the lobby. I couldn't see outside anymore, so I started getting' the kids out the back and into the school."
Steven James, Principle
"The car started circling the school. The teachers told me over the intercom system when they saw it. It drove around the school in the parking lot, circling like a shark. Our physical education teacher, Mr. Phelps, went outside against my instruction, and I saw the vehicle run him down. It literally rammed him into the side of the building. I called the police.
"A big Dodge cruiser arrived quickly, and stopped. The officer got out of the car and left his door open, looking for the vehicle. It came around the school and accelerated drastically. The impact threw the officer into the vehicle. He exited through the passenger side as the car flipped over on its side, standing up like a coin. The car backed up and rammed the car's underside, throwing it onto the roof and crushing the officer underneath. Several more cars rolled up, and it rammed them as well, clipping them across their noses in rapid succession, causing them to spin into each other."
Redfield Scott, History Teacher
"I saw the car ram the cops, and it turned and idled forward, towards the school, not going very fast, maybe walking speed. The windows were still fogged. The car steered from left to right, swerving back and forth, almost as if it were surveying the destruction. It stopped and gunned its engine, and then it floored it, heading straight for the wall.
"The school walls were cement and cinder blocks. I don't know how it did it, but it did. It came straight through the wall into the room next to mine. They ran through the connecting doors into my room. The car backed out, and through the door I saw that it was undamaged.
"The police had apparently started taking this deathly seriously, because a fire engine rolled up next, barely missing the police cars. Several more followed it, and the Boise SWAT team arrived in an armored personnel carrier.
"The Fire Engine was not there to fight any fires. It aimed itself square at the car, idling in the lot, and rammed it head on. The front of the engine crumpled, but it was able to back up and ram again. The car did take some damage, to its side, but it looked as if a few bicycles had scraped its sides. The truck pressed the attack, hitting it across the flank and knocking it into one of the busses. It moved forward easily, escaping a third run before it started. The armored personnel carrier moved into the lot, building up its speed and moving towards the car. The car seemed to play with it, moving just a little faster than it. The APC chased it into the side lot where the busses turn around. It tried to get up onto the grass, but oddly enough, it failed and the APC absolutely devastated it. It bent almost double. The glass was broken out, and the frame had to be badly bent. I saw the engine smoke. The car threw a rod trying to accelerate. Then the front wheels -that year of car had to be rear-wheel driven- pulled it forward even as the engine died. The car built up speed and headed for the road, but the APC clipped it and it slammed into the propane heating tanks near the school after skidding over the grass. The tanks blew, knocking out the school windows."
Scott Renfield, Patrol Officer
"There was nobody driving the goddamn car. There was nobody inside of it. I swear to god, the thing was empty."
Brittany Farridge, Student (Note: Student had relation with car's owner)
"He loved that car. He said Chevys lasted forever, he did. He said that it would be around after he was gone. After he got killed, his parents sold the car for scrap. It was in pieces. It was completely shredded. And it wasn't in as good a shape as it was that day in September when it ran down those people, before the accident, I mean- it was a piece of garbage. He said the valves tapped, whatever that meant, and it had rust in at least five places. The car was sent away to a junkyard.
"But it came back."
Conclusion:
Vehicle displayed signs of preternatural resistance to damage. Testimony indicates vehicle drove/piloted itself. It was described as thinking or making decisions. It chose targets. Vehicle's behavior was inconsistent with former owner. The comittee makes no conclusion to the validity of the report or the witnesses, and believes that a relative piloted the vehicle.
(Handwritten Note)
All relatives are accounted for. Driver of vehicle was surely killed. Committee conclusion does not explain window fogging, driving with front wheels, or resistance to damage. It is my conclusion that the committee has not satisfactorily explained the incident.
Chevys do last forever.