Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story. It was �back in the day� and I was at �that crazy age when everything changes and your head gets far and your arms fall off and you start growing jungles out of your nose and finally you can�t take it anymore and you explode.� It was a good time for me and my personal friend, the Ebola Virus. One day, while watching T.V. from the comfort of my casket, I saw an add. Come. Come to the zoo,� the voice beckoned me, �you love the zoo. I promise you won�t die.� That sold me on the spot. So I jumped into the T.V. and I was at the zoo. I knew some of the animals because I saved them from a burning plate. That was a lot of fun. First, I had to visit Mike the Mouse. He was getting it on with about 16 or 17 other mice, so I decided not to bother him at this time. I did, however, throw a piece of cheese in the cage and it totally fucked with all of their heads. Let�s just say it wasn�t Swiss cheese when I threw it in there, if you know what I�m sayin�. Anyway, next I went to see Andy the Anaconda. At that time, he was just wandering around outside of the Mouse House. I asked him if he wanted in, opened the door, and he slithered on in. I heard a lot of squeaking from inside the Mouse House, so Andy must have been a big hit at the party. Next, I went to see the Greg the Grasshopper in the Insect House. He was on a table just standing there and I said �Hey.� He said �wassup� and jumped down from the table. I walked over toward him and heard a crunch. The crunch must have scared him, because after it, I couldn�t find him anywhere. I was running out of time to stay there, so I moved on. I went to where the rabbits and all were and visited Justin the Jack Rabbit. He was running around and causing all sorts of craziness and then it hit me. It must have hit Justin, also. It didn�t just hit him, it killed him. Ohh Justin, what a dumb ass. Anyway, I went to visit the last of my friends, Kellie the Killer Whale. She looked tired, and so did Andy, who was floating in Kellies tank upside down. I guess he was asleep and I thought I�d let Kellie sleep, too, so I closed the top of the tank. The guy who worked there kept telling me something like, �Killer Whales need oxygen and if you close up the top, it can�t get any.� I wasn�t really paying attention and he got on my nerves so I shot him. I looked in the tank and my plan worked, Kellie was asleep, too. I started feeling tired, myself, so I hit the button to close the top, jumped in the water and, to make a long story short� Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story.