Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story. I had to be stealthy to capture those bad, bad people involved in the kidnapping� but how? Not really knowing the answer to this question, I went to the pawnshop where I purchased some clogs and a nifty fondue pot. With a stomach full of cheese fondue and a nose full of bad guy fear, I pursued onward toward the warehouse once again. I decided a stealthy, ninja-like approach was the best to take. I threw the grappling hook onto the roof and pulled myself up with ease. A back flip, double tuck under hook a swirling swan dive, and a backbend to a front triple somersault later, I was over top of the bad people and the kidnapped daughter. After nursing a cramp in my claves, I attached a makeshift rope made of swiveled parts of a twig to the top of the building and began to ease my way down. The closer and closer I became to achieving my goal of rescuing the governor�s daughter, the more and more I began to realize that it was a terrible idea eating the cheese fondue. I farted, or course and was spotted, cut down from my makeshift rope, and tortured for the next few weeks. The nipple clamps weren�t bad, but the testicle thing I became rather fond of. Then, after one of my scheduled beatings at 9, 12, 4, 10, and 10:30, the whole to the dark, cavernous port they had shoved me in opened and there stood Commissioner Doober. �Ohh good, I knew you would find me and bust those perps, it was only a matter of time. I did good, didn�t I, chief.� The Commissioner then commended me on my job well done, �God dammit, uncle T.J., I am not a god damn chief. I am a commissioner and you will treat me with respect, god dammit. God dammit, man, you could have gotten yourself killed, or worse, gotten someone else injured. Lucky for you, though, you took the god damn focus off of the mayor�s daughter for a while and allowed us just enough time to spring a god damn surprise attack on their unsuspecting asses. For that act of god damnity, I owe you a debt of gratitude. Now go home and clean up, I expect you to be at my desk at 8 sharp so we can do this god damn paper work or the press will have a field day with MY ASS.� As I walked away, I felt a swelling of pride not felt in a long time� but that may have just been my head because soon after, I passed out, as I awoke in the hospital, I noticed, however, that I had a massive hemeroid that� well� Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story.