Gather 'round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story. It was back in 1682. I was at the ripe old age of 3. It was a good year, lots of stuff to do. I was in the hospital mursing a massive hemroid. I got up, sat back down, got up agian, then fell into a comma. While in the comma I heard a voice. "Step into the light," the voice said. I've been fooled by that routine before. The last time I walked into a light I was raped by a giant monkey. So I walked back, away from the light. I got out of my comma and there was a doctor. And so , to make a long story short... Gather 'round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story.