Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story. It was back in 1625 and I was at the tender age of eleventy-five. There was a large pandemonium and lots of people wanted peanuts for some reason. I was walking down the dock one day, enjoying a bag of mixed nuts, when all of the sudden I heard what appeared to uncle T.J. as a gun shot, then a whistle, then a bomb, then a guitar strum, then a large �ting� noise. I saw a guy throw a body into the water and asked the man if he had some meat to sell. Then he told me he had a job for me. He said that I should go to the 5th Street Bridge, go off the Jersey Turnpike, go to the local drugstore and rob them. Also, I had to pick up his medication. He gave me a big gun and a small coat and I was off. I walked to the 5th Street Bridge, got off the Jersey Turnpike, crossed the street like Frogger on drugs, and got to the RX. I got inside and someone was already robbing the place. I decided to put off the robbery for now and get the medication and some Advil cause with all of those robbers shooting people, it was giving me a headache. The robbery was taking a long time so I went up to the guy and I said, �Guys, you�re taking my job.� They looked at me, laughed, and proceeded from there to beat the living shit out of me. �Wow,� I thought to myself as I emerged from the dumpster about two hours later, �I really wish I had that Advil.� I still had the guy�s medication, though. So I popped some pills and started chasing after a purple monkey who lead me to a land of gold and charcoal. I went up to the monkey and, to make a long story short� Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story.