Go for the Jugular



This story is possibly the wierdest, most gross uncle T.J. story ever created. It tells of the creation of uncle T.J., but at what a cost. It was originally sent out on March 30, 2001. A note should be made that I do not, in fact, have anything against my mom. She is the best mom in the world and, if she ever read this, I'm sure she would take it in stride. It's a little wierd, which isn't necessarilly good, but it is still and uncle T.J. story. Also another note that should be made is there is something about the Challenger spaceshuttle in here that I don't remember writing, but I will stamp the same credo onto this story as I do on all uncle T.J. storys: No apologies. So take it with a grain of salt, if you will and have fun, my wonderfuls.



Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story. The year was 3024 and I was not born yet. It was nine months since the woman who would be my mom was impregnated by a large group of sailors. In other words, there were a lot of Sea Men in her and one was bound to hit the jackpot. My mother was a test subject in a lab just outside of Las Vegas, Texas. Their newest question was �what would happen if a child was born in space.� So my mother, being the company�s bitch, was forced to go into space. She was shot up on a spaceship called the �Challenger.� After a little trouble upon takeoff, my mother and my mother alone made it to space on a piece of flying debris. She landed on the moon eventually and laid down quickly. She was starting to have me. She pushed and pushed and pushed until finally I came out. Unfortunately, the lack of gravity forced me to come out of her mouth. She rode on my back all the way back to Earth and we splash landed in my grandma�s backyard. I said, �Hi Grandma� then ran into the shadows where I remained for the next 400 years. After that time, I came back and found my mom. I walked up to her and said �Hi Mom,� then ran back into the shadows. I emerged 2 weeks later, my mom and I danced a jig, and, to make a long story short� Gather �round the fire and let uncle T.J. tell you a story.


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