I haven’t said anything for minutes, hours, days, years, decades, centuries, millennia, epochs... this is an epoch; an era; the end of an era; ; now I know; n a million fragmented puzzle pieces that I had only just began to organize, recognize, have suddenly come together in an echo of undefined, non-divine creatio no god, just the accidental synergy of matter; just like us, not you and I, I mean me and her; d...I can't let it if it was meant to be then I was meant to be screwed; e unhappy; tormented—-not by her, of course not, she’d never hurt me, not even in play, just the thoughts that run rampant in my m n g I’m not alone now but I’m just standing here, staring there; I want to grab her and squeeze her so tightly that her tongue p; i e y life, o I want her again; o n p m ; I can’t want her, I wanted her; p d p w past-tense; s ; a n h no I still do… but three words were enough to give meaning to life—-metaphorically speaking, there is no meaning b s h i a tain it all made sense; u o h t t t she made sense; t u e e t p d e we made sense, and I could finally figure out what she saw in me; t n e a u b n d it’s terrible; ;noitinifed evag sdrow eerht esoht r h e a maybe I’m just delusional, erratic; i I t w g g a my mind is just spinning off course further and further a n ' s n a g n I’m just following the gutter, its stream sweeping me d w t m d i n n d o a o y n d i w y ;dekaos era seohs ym ,ma I a t a l a w n n m l i i s o o f e y o c r u l dioved ,teerts enots-elbboc eht r r n e b a f m o o e m e e h r a f m h o ; h e s e t life, myself included. reality and now we're suddenly walking I don't know how I got w u t t l w v t t u d e o e There’s only her h f o d e r ; o b u t w The rain is still falling; a p o h the sky's just peeling apart and bleeding to death on me, I'm soaked; s l n o I don't care, it's just water, I'm only wet; e g s i w I'm not even particularly cold, well not physically cold, just... empty? n n i t s there’s only her, am I wrong, was I wrong, how could this happen to me; i i h t i m not to me but her; i feel like it happened to me; why can't I cry? f k t l u there’s only her; what sort of pathetic fallacy is this? n n e o c no, this is real, this isn’t a book; o i e g h there’s only her, it reminds me of Dickens, you know, raindrops and thunderclaps booming from outside the cavernous c h v s a somewhere in the margins a sick, twisted, perverted—- no I don’t want to go down that path, I can’t stop t r t I there’s only her; the madman staring out from the broken-down houses in the wings is orchestrating this: it’s just unreal; e r s the rain, prophetic; s e k t there’s only her, my shoes—-her shoes, soaked; e a e r I’m soaked and my eyes are dry; d m e y why are they dry? w there’s only her; it makes me look so selfish, and I am; y j t how could I do this to her, after all she’s been through? l u w o I’m scum; worse than him; I feel myself becoming him; n s e there’s only her, I am just staring at her, in the rain, not saying a word just gobbling up chains of smoke; o t a f c cigarette after cigarette I’m on my third in a row, sadly my last; o there’s only her... if I could I would keep smoking and smoking and smoking, she has menthols, I can’t ask her for anything I n I’m soaked; v this is a joke; parallel walls of i please tell me it’s a joke; n I can’t help it, I can’t alter the past, I can’t accept the past, there is no future beyond the parallel walls of c a cage; e how could he touch her? parallel walls d I can’t touch her now; e m I’m afraid to; c y I’m afraid of myself; a s I’m afraid of him; d e I’m afraid of her. e l n f t there’s only her. t ;ytinamuh h a ;dekaos s'ehs--lleh gnieb ti--it otni teg I rehtruf eht ,yako si gnihtyreve t page five.