As I sit here on this sunny Saturday afternoon, Bob Segar sings "Against the Wind" in the background, I begin to think of my life, of my failures, my triumphs, my joys and my sorrows. The urge to write calls to me from deep within. I try to write poems of my feelings, but the words do not come to me as they had before. Yet the feeling grows strong and it can't be ignored. So as the music plays I write to you here and now. Letting all that is within me flow through my fingers in what may become somewhat incomprehensable nonsense.
People have been asking for me to write more and more peoms. They seem to understand where I have been. Both good and bad. I try so hard to write for them yet the inspiration eludes me. For I have had this heart closed off for so long now that I am not sure if I can ever open it again. This is where my inspiration lies, not within my mind, not in these two hands, but deep within my heart. When love finds me I can write 10 poems in 15 minutes. When pain strikes deep, the words of pain and lonliness become my defenses. But now my heart is empty except for the love for my children and parents. No longer able to love or be hurt, just beating enough to keep me alive. Many have tried to gain thier way into the darkness and shine thier light upon the empty shell of someone who once loved so wildly and free, only to have the doors kept open just enough to know I am alive. I do still long from time to time for the touch of someone's love. To be held and told all will be ok. To wish that someday someone's light will shine so brightly it will throw open the doors and shine on a cold empty place once again. That's when I will know that I have found my way back home. I will never regret the love I shared with anyone, I will only regret that I was unable to be who they wanted me to be or that I was unable to love them the way they deserved.
Music, they say can heal the soul. It helps people express thier love for one another. It helps ease the pain as they mend a broken heart. Can bring both tears of joy and of sorrow. It will make memories fill your mind as though the flood gates were opened wide and the water rushes into the streams. I listen to music as I write, always. To hear the voice of someone like Bryan Adams, Bob Segar, Bon Jovi and many others, helps the hurt, pain, love and joy flow through me. But you see...that is not enough. I have to live it to write about it. There are no poems here that are not directly taken from my own life. There are a few that I have been able to write as though they had taken place long ago. Those took a few days due to the fact I had not lived it the way I had written about it. Such as "Desert Rose" from Cowboy's Legacy #1. But, that was written back when I was rodeoin alot and was written as a gun slinger and a lady rather than a bullrider and a lady. (which happens to be the title of another poem from that same site, the one that started it all) Huh...just think... four years ago I wrote that one for someone who still haunts my heart to this day. She said it was good and I should publish it. Well, I did, here and have had it published in a book with many others.
See I told you this might become obscure and almost incoherantly written! LOL
Darrin L. Broyhill
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