The first cause of pornography addiction is the erroneous view of pornography as harmless fun. We might:

• When we visit free porn sites, the webmasters get hits and money for ads from commercial porn sites. Therefore, we are supporting the porn "industry" that churns out material that harms us by taking our attention away from our families, jobs, responsibilities and physical, mental and spiritual growth.
• We might think of porn as a form of entertainment or hobby, but nothing good comes of it. If we play tennis, we develop our body and social skills. If we play chess or read, we develop our minds. If we use pornography, what do we develop? Nothing but lust, loss of self-control, shame, depression, loneliness, loss of social skills, separation from family and friends, loss of time and money, loss of potential, possible progression to become a rapist or a child molester, suicidal thoughts, and so on.
• We might have no apparent problems with porn, but if we post porn in newsgroups, then we are not helping those addicted to porn who wants to quit. If we get porn from newsgroups as opposed to web sites, then that is still bad because we keep ourselves addicted, and addicts only harm others. When we fail to be a worthwhile citizen, to be the best we can be, we fail and hurt EVERYONE.
• We might think that we can hide our addiction from others, but it shows. We seem awkward and troubled, we have not done as well in our work or studies as we could, our relationships with others suffer. If you keep at it long enough, I guarantee you that eventually someone will find out. For example, I was caught by my coworkers. I did my best to cover my tracks, but when a coworker typed a web address, the automatic web address suggestion popped up with a porn web address. Fortunately, I was not fired for it, but I learned my lesson. In school, my marks dropped from A’s to C’s, and my parents found out about my "Internet addiction." I am too ashamed to tell them straight my real problem.
• Lastly and most importantly, consider the true nature of pornography. Do we really think that girls get naked in front of the camera for fun? Some of them might enjoy showing themselves, but that is what the porn "industry" wants us to believe and focus on. The fun of showing themselves is not what they are really after. The reality is that those girls sell their nakedness for money. Nakedness should really be kept private and shared with our most intimate partner. When these "models" show their bodies, they lose that sense of deepest intimacy with their loved ones. When we look at their bodies, we lose that deepest sense of intimacy with our loved one. We might think that if we buy porn, then we support their living, and that is a good thing. Probably not. Those girls should find better jobs that have positive impacts on society and not on addicting men to porn. When we think about it, the porn "industry" for porn addicts is just as bad as the cigarette manufacturers for smokers, drug dealers for drug addicts, gambling operations for gambling addicts, or the Mafia for law-abiding citizens.
• The true nature of pornography: The word "pornography" derives from "porno- = harlot" and "-graph = record." "Harlot" means "a prostitute, a whore." "Prostitute" means "to expose for sale." Therefore, when you look at pornography, the consequences are almost as immoral and bad as paying prostitutes for sex. The "titles" of "Playmates" and "Pets" sound fun and pretty innocent, but in reality they are the prostitutes of men’s imaginations. These "Bunnies" are just as bad as being real prostitutes because the bad effects on men from pornography can be just as bad as real prostitutes. People, especially public figures, can get fired for porn use. Marriages could break down because of porn. Just look in the bulletin board of http://www.onlinesexaddict.org/ and you will see. Or you might have read about the story of Laura Hall, the woman who had her family and marriage torn apart because her husband was addicted to porn. Or the new statistics about the consequences of pornography addiction.
• The affair of the mind? As far as the visual cortex of the brain is concerned, imagined prostitutes are just like the real prostitutes. Think about it: every time you masturbate to porn, you are in your mind having sex with that prostitute, that woman that you do not know personally, who is selling her nakedness. Ask yourself how many prostitutes do you think you had sex with so far? Hundreds? Thousands? Would you like to do more? It makes me sick just thinking about it.
• Why is porn wrong? Prostitutes sell their bodies and their looks for money. Is that right? Why does society or religion look down upon that? Why is that wrong? A component of evil and immorality is the characteristic of harmfulness. Prostitutes hurt people not only by sexually transmitted diseases, but also because they tear men away from their wives and children and hurt everyone involved. The "johns" hurt themselves because they give no thought to consequences, have no wisdom, no discipline and no discretion. They are controlled solely by hormones and desires, they have failed to exercise reason and think about things enough to guide them away from harm, and they do not even know that they are in for consequences of suffering and do not know how they got there. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance breeds more ignorance, and ignorance leads to suffering. The man who is blind from birth does not know that he is blind if he is not told that there is such a thing as sight and being able to see. "Johns" do not know and have not learned how to control themselves and prevent themselves from damaging the trust of loved ones and others. They break marriage vows, and they fail to be thoughtful and good citizens that make this a better world. "Johns" have not learned or thought enough to give them wisdom that allows them to control their actions, and so they cannot be trusted with important responsibilities in relationships and work. Would you trust "johns" with the medical, spiritual or personal care of your mom, sister, girlfriend, wife, or children? No! Therefore, they are looked down upon by the general public and by themselves. They failed the wishes of their ancestors and the hopes of future generations. Similarly, people addicted to pornography should understand that our lack of control will one day hurt someone, if we are not hurting ourselves and others already.

The second cause of pornography addiction is the combination of "craving for love and approval from others," "pessimism and negative self-concept," and "lack of direction, rules, and purpose in life." Addiction to pornography is a symptom of trying to find love, comfort, fulfillment, and sense of purpose. People involved in pornography addiction might have negative views of themselves. We think we are flawed in some way and we seek approval from others. We are shy and we might try to find love or approval but might be unsuccessful so far. We give up and resort to pornography. The illusion and fantasy is, "If I can have sex with a beautiful woman, then I would feel good about myself." The cure for this is to know that self-esteem comes from compassion, not from the outside. You do not need the sexual high to feel that you are a good human being or that life is worthwhile. You can live a fulfilled and purposeful life without pornography by being compassionate and thinking about the suffering and the needs of others. Lust cease once you stop focusing on yourself and start focusing others’ well-being. Look no longer for love from others. Be thoughtful and aware of others’ needs and suffering. That gives rise to caring, which in turn gives rise to love and optimism. Do volunteer work. Become a Scouts Guide or a Big Brother. Becoming a good role model for a young friend is a great way to force ourselves to grow up and become better people. Be content by knowing that a compassionate life is good enough. Find purpose and direction in life by learning how to live well. I found that the Socratic Method really helped me. Find direction and purpose by writing or typing out questions for yourself and answer them on paper or with your keyboard. e.g. "Are directions and goals important? Do I have long-term goals and directions to guide my life? If not, what would I like them to be? Why? etc." In addition, read and learn about what others have to say about the purpose of life.

The third cause of pornography addiction is the high intensity of sexual excitement and orgasms associated with novel sexual stimuli. The nature of pornography addiction is that pornography viewers enjoy -- and are addicted to -- the high level of sexual excitement and orgasms from viewing new porn for the purpose of masturbation. (For people not addicted to porn: when I describe "high level of excitement", I am in no way advocating the use of pornography! If you are not addicted, then do not try it because you might become addicted! Believe me, the resultant suffering is NOT worth the high.) Notice that pornography addiction constantly require new pornographic material to achieve the same high. In addition, the explicitness of the pornographic material required for the same high also increase. The cure for this is to prevent lust from arising in the first place by being mindful of others’ suffering instead of being mindful of sex, which leads to doing good deeds for others that result in joy and happiness for everyone. That is the best and happiest way of spending one’s life. How do I know? Just imagine living the life of Santa Claus or Mother Teresa, living the life of giving and caring.

The fourth cause of pornography addiction is loneliness. The first step to cure loneliness is to do kind and compassionate things to help others. One cannot help it but gain friends and companions by doing this. In addition, forgive the people that have hurt you (but do not let them keep hurting you). Furthermore, you are not alone in your addiction! Visit http://www.onlinesexaddict.org/ The site has a bulletin board on which you can share your problems with others, and you can help others by correspondence!

The sixth cause of pornography addiction is some hurt in your life that you are trying to drown out with pornography. You might have been emotionally, physically, or sexually abused. You might feel helpless and unworthy with regards to relationships, work or your abilities. The cure for this is to know that the past is the past, so leave it behind you in the past. There is no use in thinking about it or crying over it for the rest of your life. Get counseling, resolve those issues of your life and move on to a better life. Read Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

The seventh cause of pornography addiction is objectification of women/men. You know this is happening when you look at people and you feel like you are looking at objects rather than people that you care for. The cure for this is to know that people share a lot in common, and we are closer to each other than we thought. Learn to see the gender of your interest as people too and not simply as attractive faces and bodies. We all want to be happy and we all do not want suffering. We all want to be loved and cared about. Know that many people are trying their best to live a good life, and you will see people as people worthy of love as children are loveable. People are just children, only older in appearance.

The eighth cause of pornography addiction is self-sabotage or self-hatred. Deep down, for some reason, we might feel sorry for ourselves. "Poor me..." We enjoy pornography, and at the same time, we sabotage our lives so that others would feel sorry for us, comfort us and give us attention. Alternatively, we want to make others feel sorry for what we think they have done to us. This is a weird kind of revenge that involves self-pity and self-destruction in order to make others feel guilty. In addition, another cause of self-destruction is that we have not learned how to live correctly (e.g. how to approach work, how to handle negative thoughts and emotions), and we do not know how to learn to live correctly. As a result, we only know how to destroy ourselves. The cure for this is for us to first understand if this is the case for us. If so, then forgive others and ourselves. The past is the past. It cannot be undone. No matter who we are or what good or bad we have done, we all suffer enough already in the form of unavoidable suffering such as old age, sickness and death. Why add to that suffering with hatred or condemnation? Let go of the past and work for a better future by reading books and more importantly thinking about what we read, learning from others, trying new approaches and attitudes, and open ourselves to new possibilities in ways of living and being.

The ninth cause of pornography addiction is our society. Our upbringing gives us fundamental, unconscious, deep-rooted beliefs that we have about the world. Children are brought up with math and science in school, but not ethics and personal responsibility. Religions used to teach ethics and virtues, but in a progressively secular world, such teachings are lacking.

We are encouraged to do what we want to do to the exclusion of considerations about others and what we should do. Perhaps too much freedom is encouraged with no encouragement or emphasis of thinking skills that lead to ethical restraint and self-discipline. In school, we are spoon fed information and forced to regurgitate information in tests and exams. We are not taught how to think for ourselves or that we should think for ourselves at all. We are just told what to do and what is right without needing to verify knowledge through thinking. Anyway, we are given freedom by others. In turn, we give ourselves freedom to do what we want to do. "I can smoke to death if I want to, drink and drive if I want to, and look at all the porn that I want." We have the tendency to enjoy to extremes what are not good for us, and businesses provide our excesses to us. We are mostly mindless consumers (trained from infancy) living in free, secular and lawful countries full of loopholes and lack of guidance. We can do better. In a world without internal rules or morals, good parenting nor schools that teach children philosophy and ethics, we are on our own. We cannot wait for others to save us because the status quo is not working. We need to teach ourselves to think, make the right choices and educate ourselves to find the correct principles to live by. We need to actively and voluntarily learn what our life purposes are, what is right and how to do it.

Help someone else with their problems and you will get better. Feel free to write to me at [email protected] if you have constructive comments and suggestions.

Remember, DO NOT put yourself down when you give in to temptation. As long as you do not give up in your fight, sooner or later you will succeed! I am thinking of you and wishing you success in your struggle for freedom.