Genre (general, hetero or slash) Slash
Pairing/Characters: S/H
Rating: FRAO
Summary: The guys have a
misunderstanding and Hutch goes off to work undercover with the DEA
Warnings: None, no actual sex
Notes: This is my first S&H story. Feedback is welcome.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Ne’i chan for
her assistance. Any mistakes are all
mine.
Hutch rolled onto his back. This
was ridiculous. Why couldn’t he fall
asleep? He looked over at the alarm
clock on the bedside table. The numbers
glowed red in the darkness. 2 AM. 5 AM in
He turned again to his side, away from the clock. Why hadn’t Starsky invited him? He’d met his family before. Hutch felt a stab of guilt. Starsky didn’t have to take him on vacation. Just because they were usually together all the time. The only time they spent apart was when they were asleep, but they sometimes crashed at the other’s place. Hutch pulled the other pillow close, hugging it to him. He got an instant whiff of Starsky. This was the pillow Starsky had used the other night when he’d slept on the couch.
They had been watching a football game that had gone into overtime. Starsky had fallen asleep on the couch. Hutch remembered stretching him out, removing his shoes and throwing a blanket over him. Starsky had never woken up.
Hutch breathed in the scent of Starsky. “I miss you,” he said aloud to the darkness. Hutch had been working with a drug task force while Starsky took two weeks vacation. It was an interesting assignment but it wasn’t the same without Starsky being there.
“What is wrong with me?” Hutch looked back over his shoulder at the clock. 2:30 AM. Would Starsky be awake? No, he couldn’t call. Starsky was staying at his mother’s. He’d wake the whole house.
Hutch pulled the pillow closer, holding it tight. He saw flashes of
light crawl across the walls as cars traveled past
Hutch rolled onto his back again. Where had this train of thought come from? Neither one of them had ever entertained that idea. He didn’t play for the other team. A switch hitter. He chuckled. But he wasn’t interested in other men. He was only interested in one. Hutch was surprised this thought didn’t shock him. Somehow it felt natural. It had been him and Starsky for years. He clutched the pillow again, curling up on his side. He closed his eyes, breathing in Starsky’s scent. What would it be like to have him here? Kissing him? That thought gave him a flutter in his stomach. He let his imagination free. His hand running down Starsky’s wonderfully hairy chest, over his muscular stomach. Hutch’s own hand followed this path down his own body. He let out a soft moan as his hand found his, Starsky’s, hardening cock. The film in his head intermingled his hand and Starsky’s.
Starsky’s name was a sigh as their hands began a slow rhythm that gradually increased. The smell of Starsky, the feel of his hands, one on his chest, the other in a more erratic pace brought him to a powerful climax.
Hutch laid back, trying to catch his breath and feeling the aftershocks. “Jesus,” he muttered. He couldn’t remember feeling anything that intense. His legs felt wobbly as he headed to the bathroom to clean up. He dropped back on the bed, snuggled the pillow close and was soon fast asleep.
***
Starsky woke early. He could tell it was because the house was quiet. He wondered what Hutch was doing. He was surprised he hadn’t heard from him. He had thought about calling but every time he had, the house had been packed with relatives and friends.
Starsky rolled out of bed, pulling on his jeans and a sweatshirt. It was chilly this morning. Thanksgiving was only a few days away. Parts of
“Hullo?” Hutch’s sleepy voice answered.
“Hey, did I wake you?”
“Starsk? What time is it?”
Starsky looked up at the clock. “Sorry, buddy. It’s only 7 here.”
“S’okay. You all right?”
Starsky smiled.. Hutch was always worried about how others were. “I’m fine. Hadn’t heard from you. Was wondering what you were up to?”
Hutch tried to stifle a yawn. “Working with a drug task force. Lots of overtime.”
“Oh, you like that?”
“It’s all right. Miss you.”
“Miss you, too Blintz.”
Hutch grinned. “How’s the family? Don’t hear any yelling.” Starsky’s laugh made him feel warm.
“They’re all asleep. Finally was quiet and the phone was free. I wanted to call sooner.”
“You’re on vacation. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.”
“Nothing more important than you, babe.” Starsky heard feet coming down the stairs. “Sounds like the troops are up.”
“Glad you called. Not the same with you gone.”
“Yeah, I feel kinda lost without you around. I’ll call ya later.”
“Bye, Starsk.”
Starsky hung up the phone, smiling. It felt good to hear Hutch’s voice.
“So, talking to your girlfriend?” Starsky’s cousin, Mitzi entered the kitchen and headed for the coffee pot.
“No,” Starsky sipped his own cooling coffee, “Talking to my partner, Hutch.”
“Partner? I didn’t know you were gay.”
Starsky laughed. “Not that kind of partner, we work together. Cop partner,” he said as she raised an eyebrow.
“Whatever. Didn’t know cops told each other that they missed one another.” With that she left the room.
Starsky got up to refill his cup. He thought about what Mitzi said. He and Hutch always talked that way but he guessed it would sound like that to someone who didn’t know them.
***
Starsky found himself thinking about what his cousin had said on and off during the day. It surprised him that the idea didn’t make him mad. If it had been anyone except Hutch he would had been pissed. But they had something special. Something that couldn’t be explained.
“David, what is Ken doing for the holidays?”
Starsky’s musings were interrupted by his mother coming out on the porch where he sat. She handed him a large mug of hot chocolate.
“Thanks,” he said as he took it. “He’s working.”
“Working? That’s not right, David.” She put her hands on her hips and glared. Starsky knew an order was coming.
Starsky shrugged. “He didn’t want to go to his parents. They aren’t like us.” He inclined his head toward the yard. The kids, cousins, friends, neighbors were all gathered there. Some were playing touch football, some jumped in and out of piles of leaves.
“So, why didn’t you bring him here?”
Starsky was stumped. He had thought of asking but figured Hutch wouldn’t want to come. “Well, I...”
His mother crossed her arms across her amble chest. “Get off your butt and go call him.”
“But ma...”
“Don’t ‘but ma’ me. Go.”
***
“Hello?”
“Hey, Hutch. You off from work?”
“Yeah, just got home a little while ago. What’s up?”
“Think they can do without you on this drug thing?”
“Ah, I don’t know, why?”
“My mother wants you to get your skinny ass on a plane and have Thanksgiving with us.”
“Thanks Starsk, but I can’t horn in on your vacation.”
“What are ya talkin’ about? You are invited. Call Dobey and see what he says.”
“Starsk...”
“Don’t Starsk me.” God, I sound like my mother. “Hutch, you gotta help me. You know she’ll make my life hell if you don’t come. Please, buddy.”
“I don’t know.”
“Look, call Dobey. See what he says. Oh, and bring my photo album, okay?”
Hutch sighed. “Okay, I’ll ask. I’ll call you back.”
“No, you’ll never get through. This phone rings off the hook. I’ll call you back in about an hour, okay?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
***
“Yeah?”
“So, whadda he say?”
“He said you owe him one.”
“Me? What do I owe him for?”
“For letting me off.”
“He did? Great! When are you coming? Why don’t you owe him?”
Hutch chuckled, leaning back on the couch. “One at a time. The earliest flight is tonight but I wouldn’t get there until 7 AM. I can get one in the morning, get there around 4:30 PM.”
“7's no problem, sooner you get here.”
“Hutch frown. “Okay, my plane leaves at 11 PM. Oh, I got your photo album, anything else you need?”
“Great. Oh, bring warm clothes. We’re having a cold snap. Can you bring my white sweater?”
“All right. Can you get me a room?”
“What? You’re staying here, buddy. Though we gotta double up.” Starsky laughed. “Not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”
Hutch made a feeble laugh. Yeah, just what he needed, to sleep in the same bed with Starsky. “Yeah, buddy. I better go, need to get packed.”
“Don’t forget to get Mimi to water your plants.”
“Good idea. See you in the morning.”
“Great. Can’t wait to see you, seems like forever.”
“Yeah, it does. Night, Starsk.”
“Night.”
***
Hutch gazed blearily out the window. He’d tried to sleep during the flight but had kept waking up. He’d been having increasingly erotic dreams, all starring one furry chested Starsky. Just what the hell was wrong with him? He wished he could blame it on a concussion or something but he’d been injury free - damn it.
The stewardess brought him another cup of coffee. He hadn’t realized at first she was flirting with him. But he didn’t have the energy to deal with her. He was thinking maybe it wasn’t a good idea to be going to spend over a week with his partner, sharing the same bed.
***
Hutch staggered down the ramp toward the terminal. He could see a beautiful sunrise through the terminal window, the sky was vivid shades of red and orange. He was dead on his feet. A search of the gate area showed no sign of Starsky.
“You must be Detective Hutchinson.”
Hutch saw a woman smiling at him from behind the counter. She inclined her head to the left. There, spread out over several seats, was Starsky. Hutch couldn’t help smiling. Starsky couldn’t be comfortable folded up on those seats.
“Figures, all the cute ones are gay.”
Hutch just shook his head as he bent down by Starsky’s head. He touched his hair and then ran a hand down Starsky’s arm.
“Hey, Starsk. Wake up.”
“Hmmm?”
“Sleeping beauty.” Hutch blew in Starsky’s ear.
Starsky rolled over and opened his eyes. “Hutch?” He smiled. “You’re here.” Starsky was treated to the beautiful Hutch smile. Like a ray of sunshine.
“Yeah, I made it.”
Starsky sat up and groaned, he grabbed his back.
“You all right?”
“They make sure these seats are uncomfortable.” Starsky yawned.
“You okay to drive?”
Starsky rubbed a hand over his face and stood. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’ll just grab a cup of coffee. Let’s go find your luggage.” He noticed how tired Hutch looked. “You okay?”
“Fine. Just couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”
Starsky patted Hutch’s face. “Let’s get you home to bed.”
Hutch felt a flutter in his stomach. I wish.
***
Starsky pulled in front of a large Victorian house. Several kids were playing catch in the front yard even at this early hour. Hutch could see Starsky’s mother sitting on the porch. She stood as they approached the steps.
“Ken, it’s so good to see you again.”
“Mrs. Starsky.”
“Call me mom, you’re family.”
Hutch smiled at Starsky. “Mom.”
“Are you two hungry? I can make you something.” She led the way inside.
“Maybe later, Ma. Hutch didn’t get any sleep and I could use a nap myself.”
“I’ll try and keep the noise down.”
Starsky grabbed Hutch’s bag and motioned him to follow. Mitzi passed them on the steps.
“Dave, so this is your partner?” She stressed the last word, giving Hutch the once over.
Hutch shot a glance at Starsky, who shrugged.
“Mitzi, this is Ken Hutchinson, my partner. Hutch, my nosey cousin, Mitzi.”
Hutch held his hand out. “Nice to meet you.”
“Same. Well, Dave, you have good taste. Night, fellas.” Mitzi continued down the stairs.
“What was that all about?”
“Nothing. Come on, I’ll show you our room.”
Hutch followed Starsky up the stairs. They headed to the last bedroom on the second floor.
“Here we are. We got lucky. We got the half bath. There’s a shower down the hall.” Starsky sat the bag at the end of the bed.
Hutch sat on the bed and sighed. “Comfy.”
“Yeah, it’s not bad.”
Hutch kicked off his shoes and laid back on the bed. “Ah. What side?”
“I got the door.”
Hutch sat up, taking off his coat. “Man, I’m tired.”
Starsky kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of his coat. “Me, too. Think I’ll take a nap.”
Hutch felt a sudden thrill and a moment of panic. Him and Starsky in bed already?
“Hope you brought your Pjs. It’s chilly in here.” Starsky grinned at him across the bed.
“I came prepared.” I hope I’m prepared. Hutch dug his pajamas out of his suitcase and headed into the bathroom. You can do this, he told himself in the mirror. He changed and headed back out.
He sighed in relief. Starsky was already in bed, facing the door. He stood a moment, just looking.
“You gonna stand there or come to bed?”
Hutch blinked, then smiled. “Yeah.” He finished buttoning the top as he got into bed.
“Hey, are those the Pjs I got you last Christmas?”
Hutch nodded. “Don’t get a chance to wear them much.”
Starsky leaned over and ran a hand down the arm of pajamas. “I love flannel.”
Hutch felt a flush crawl up his neck. “They are comfortable.”
“Very.”
“Night, Starsk.”
“Night.”
***
Hutch’s fantasy was coming true. Starsky had told him he loved him and they were making love for the first time. He ran his hand down Starsky’s furry chest, loving the feel of the curly hairs on his palm.
“Babe,” he murmured. His hips jerked and suddenly he was awake. It took a moment then he realized he was plastered against Starsky’s back, his hand across Starsky’s stomach. He froze. Oh my god! He was practically molesting his best friend. He eased away, thankful that Starsky hadn’t woken up. “Shit,” he muttered. He moved as far from Starsky as he possibly could.
Starsky remained still as Hutch moved away, his heart pounding. He had awoken to the feel of a hand rubbing his chest. For a second he thought he was dreaming until Hutch’s fingers had brushed his nipples. He’d stifled a moan. He could feel Hutch’s erection poking him in the back, his own responding. Starsky knew Hutch was dreaming, probably thinking he was in bed with some woman. He’d felt Hutch’s breath in his ear as Hutch said “Babe”.
Starsky hadn’t moved when Hutch jerked awake and pulled away from him. He instantly missed the weight and warmth of Hutch’s body when he moved. He felt a stab in his heart at Hutch’s quiet “Shit”, but he wasn’t sure why.
***
Starsky woke later, the sun shining in his face. He was turned so he faced Hutch’s back. If he stretched out his arm he could touch him. Feel that warm skin and muscles under his hand.
Starsky squeezed his eyes shut. Where had these thoughts come from? He and Hutch had been friends for years. They weren’t gay. Some people had made comments to them in the past, but people didn’t understand their friendship. We’re just touchy Starsky rationalized. Touchy with each other. He remembered the feel of Hutch’s hands on his chest and again felt himself getting hard. Starsky got up as quietly as he could. He pulled on his jeans and a sweatshirt then headed to the kitchen.
“David, honey, you’re awake. I made coffee, it’s still fresh.”
“Thanks, Ma.” He headed for the counter but he stopped at her look.
“Sit down. You want something to eat?”
“I could eat.” Starsky grinned at his mother as she sat a cup of coffee in front of him.
“Since when can’t you eat. Is Ken up?”
“Nah, he’s still snoozing.”
“I’m glad he could come.”
“Me, too Ma. Me, too.”
***
Hutch woke a couple of hours later. At first he didn’t know where he was, then the memories of last night returned. He felt a rush remembering the feel of Starsky’s body in his arms. He laid there a moment reliving them. He also felt a stab of guilt. He was glad Starsky hadn’t woken up. Hutch rolled over. The clock read 1 PM. He saw Starsky’s pajama bottoms laying on the foot of the bed. He got up and pulled on some sweat pants and a sweat shirt.
***
“Lookie here, sleeping beauty.” Starsky loved to be the one who caused that smile to appear on Hutch’s face. Those blue eyes lit up, it was like sunshine especially with that golden hair. Starsky’s own smile froze as that thought crossed his mind. He got up and went to the counter to refill his cup. “Sit down, the coffee’s fresh.”
Hutch sat at the table as Starsky brought two cups of coffee. “Thanks.” Hutch held the cup in his hands and breathed in the fragrance. “Mmm. Smells good.”
“Good Italian coffee.” Starsky grinned as Hutch laughed. “Ma gets it at a local shop. Has for years. You sleep okay?”
Hutch stifled a yawn and hoped he didn’t blush. “Yeah, jet lag I guess.”
“You’re welcome to go back to bed. House is quiet now. All the kids are out terrorizing the neighborhood.”
Hutch shook his head. “I’m fine. What’re your plans?”
Starsky shrugged. “Thinking of driving around, seeing what’s changed. Ya wanna tag along?”
“Yeah, let me get dressed.” Hutch went to stand but Starsky put a hand on his arm.
“No rush, buddy. I’ll let you wake up first.”
***
“That your cousin’s friend?”
“Part-ner.” Mitzi said slowly.
“Partner?” Mitzi’s pal Dwayne said. “Whadda ya mean by that?”
“Well, they work together but I think it’s more than that.”
“Like what?”
Mitzi made kissing noises. Dwayne’s face wrinkled in disgust. “Queers? Your cousin’s a queer?”
“No, I think it’s the other one’s fault. Dave was never like that before.”
***
“Not too much has changed since the last time I was here.” Starsky rolled over on his back. It was midnight, the rest of the house was quiet.
“Remember that restaurant you took me to last time I was here? Where we had that pizza? Is that still around?”
Starsky grinned. “Yeah, Mario’s.”
“That’s it.” Hutch turned his head to look at Starsky’s profile. The light from the street was filtered through trees in the backyard. It cast flickering shadows across them as they lay in bed. He could see Starsky smiling.
“How about we check it out tomorrow for lunch?” Starsky said.
“Deal.”
Starsky put his hands behind his head, staring at the shadows across the ceiling. He enjoyed this, laying in the dark talking to Hutch.
“It’s like we’re drifting in the ocean. Remember when we went to see Castaway, the part after the plane crash?”
Starsky chuckled. He and Hutch were always on the same page. “Thinking the same thing, partner. But I’m the one that’s supposed to be reminded of movies.”
“Sorry to steal your thunder, buddy.” They both laughed.
***
“Your boyfriend still asleep?”
Starsky looked up as Mitzi came out onto the porch. “What?”
“Your boyfriend.” She looked around. “I don’t see him anywhere around and you two seem joined at the hip.”
“If you’re talking about Hutch, he’s still sleep.” Starsky frowned when Mitzi shrugged and leaned against the railing. “What is your problem?”
“Me? I don’t have a problem but you seem to.”
“What does that mean?”
“Living in
“What are you playin’ at? You know Hutch and I work together.”
“Like I said before, since when do two guys who work together act like you two. I heard you on the phone, remember? I see the way you act around each other.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I told you. I’m not gay.”
“Don’t bother denying it, cuz but if you’re not, he sure is.”
Hutch let the door bang as he came out onto the porch, two cups in hand. He looked from Starsky to Mitzi. “Hey, brought you a fresh cup.” He handed the cup to Starsky and sat in the chair beside him.
“Mornin’. Thanks. You want some breakfast?”
“This is fine. Wanna make sure I’m good and hungry for lunch.”
Starsky grinned and Mitzi snorted. “I’m outta here. See you later.”
“Did I interrupt anything?”
“Nah, teenage girls. They’re moody.”
Hutch threw back his head and laughed which made Starsky laugh. “I didn’t realize you were an expert on teenage girls.”
Starsky wiggled his eyebrows. “I use to be.”
***
Hutch was snugged up behind Starsky, his hand caressing Starsky’s chest. Starsky tried not to move. He told himself he didn’t want to embarrass Hutch and that’s why he didn’t try to stop him. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensation of Hutch’s hand. He offered no resistance when Hutch’s knee pushed between his legs. Hutch’s knee brushed against balls and Starsky shifted so they were in contact. He felt his cock hardening as Hutch pulled him closer and rubbed his own erection into Starsky’s back.
“Starsk.” Hutch breathed his name into Starsky’s ear.
Starsky froze. Hutch’s hand started traveling down Starsky’s stomach to his groin. Starsky grabbed Hutch’s wrist, hard.
“What?” Hutch woke and realized where he was. He tried to pull his hand back but Starsky held on.
“What the hell were you doing?”
“Starsky, I’m sorry. I...I was asleep.”
“Asleep? You sure seemed to know what you were doing if you were asleep!” Starsky’s voice was growing loud.
“Starsk, keep your voice down.”
The sound of the nickname did it. The name Hutch had moaned into his ear. “Keep my voice down! Why don’t you try keeping your fuckin’ hands to yourself, partner.” Starsky seemed to be outside himself. He could see what was going on, hear himself but couldn’t seem to control anything. He saw Hutch pull his hand back, he watched helplessly as Hutch’s face first reddened and then paled. Starsky threw the covers back and got up.
“Where are you going?”
“Outta here, away from you. If you had any decency you’d be the one leaving.” Starsky stormed out of the bedroom and down the hall.
***
Starsky tried to fit his long frame within the confines of his nephew’s twin bed. He took deep breaths, trying to calm down. He knew he was being stupid, blaming Hutch for someone that wasn’t his fault. But more than anger, he felt guilt, shame. He hadn’t tried to stop Hutch, even that first night. He had wanted more, wanted Hutch to continue touching him. And that scared him. He didn’t understand where these feelings came from or what he was suppose to do about them. He couldn’t tell Hutch, there was no way Hutch would feel the same. Hutch was as straight as they came. He had more women than time. And what about him? He like women. He wanted a wife, kids, the picket fence. Didn’t he?
Hutch stared at the ceiling. It felt like his guts were in knots and his heart...he thought his heart must surely be broken. All he could see was the look on Starsky’s face. The disgust, anger, and something else he couldn’t define. What was he going to do? Not only right now but later? Would Starsky forgive him? Could he forgive himself? He’d known it was a bad idea being so close to Starsky when his feeling were...were what? Out of control? Alien to him? He wasn’t sure what was the matter with him. He had all of these new feelings but were they really new?
Hutch sighed. He might as well concentrate on the now for the moment. Starsky had told him to get out. He could at least do that. He picked up the phone. Well at least his luck was improving, a plane was leaving within the hour. He booked a seat, called a cab and packed his few belongings. He went to sit on the porch and wait for his ride.
“Are you going somewhere, Ken?”
Hutch looked back toward the house as he heard the screen door creak. He was sitting on the steps waiting for the cab. “I’m sorry Mrs. Starsky, did I wake you?”
“No, dear. Are you leaving?” She repeated.
“Ah, yes. Something came up. Work.” He added lamely.
Starsky’s mom smiled. “You know my son, Ken. He is sometimes rash, abrupt. I’m sure your disagreement will blow over by morning.”
“You heard?”
“No, not the argument but the tone. I’m sure whatever you two were arguing about will be forgotten soon.”
Hutch glanced down the road, looking for signs of his cab. “I don’t think so, ma’am. I think I messed things up this time.” Hutch kept his gaze on his feet.
Mrs. Starsky drew her coat around her and sat beside him on the steps. “I’ve know my son a lot longer than you have, Ken. He speaks before he thinks. When he has time to cool down you’ll see. You two are good for each other. He’s never had a friend like you. I knew it from the first time you two met. All he could do is talk about this guy he’d met. Every conversation we have had since then has included you. What you two have done, things you’ve said.” She took a deep breath and continued. “I may be overstepping my place but Starsky has never loved any woman the way he loves you and I think you feel the same. Things don’t often happen the way we plan but they happen just the same. You make my son happy and that’s all I want.”
The cab pulled up then, keeping Hutch from replying. He stood and picked up his bag. “Thank you for inviting me, sorry to cause any problems.”
“You are never any problem, Ken dear. I wish you would change your mind and stay.”
“Hope you have a happy Thanksgiving.”
“You, too dear.”
***
Starsky groaned and tried to stretch his cramped legs. He wished he’d just slept on the floor.
It may be harder but at least he wouldn’t have had to sleep in a ball. He felt a pang as he remembered why he was sleeping in this small twin bed instead of beside Hutch. He groaned again as he remembered the things he’d said. He hoped Hutch wasn’t too mad this morning.
Starsky headed down to the kitchen. He was just pouring a cup of coffee when his mother entered. “Mornin’ Ma,” he said, kissing her cheek.
“Morning David. Did you sleep well?”
Starsky eyed his mother skeptically. Had she heard them last night? “Ah, yeah. I slept okay.”
“You never were a very good liar, David. Or maybe it’s just that a mother always knows.”
“Whadda ya talkin’ about, Ma?”
“I heard you and Ken arguing last night. What did you two fight about that made him leave?”
“Leave? What do you mean, leave?”
“I thought you knew. He left this morning.”
Starsky was up and out the kitchen door before his mother finished her sentence. He took the steps two at a time and pushed open the bedroom door. The bed was made and Hutch’s bag was missing. Starsky looked in the bathroom but it was clean. Starsky wandered out of the bathroom and sat on the end of the bed. Hutch gone? Was he that mad? Damn, he shouldn’t have stormed out like he did.
“Are you okay, David?” His mother put a fresh cup of coffee on the table in front of him as he plopped down at the kitchen table.
Starsky nodded and stared into his cup. What had he done and how was he gonna fix it?
“I don’t want to butt into your business, sweetheart. I had a chance to speak to Ken before he left. I care about you both, I love you both. If I had to choose from all the people you dated for the perfect person for you, it would be Ken.”
Starsky stared opened mouthed at his mouth as she headed out the door.
***
“Captain, can the DEA team still use me?”
“
“Yeah, well things change. What about the assignment?”
“I can check. It won’t be short term. They need someone for the long haul.”
“That’s fine. Let me know, okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll call you.” Captain Dobey hung up the phone and shook his head. Something was up and he didn’t think he wanted to know what.
“Hello?”
“Hutch, you all right? Why’d you take off?”
Hutch felt anger burn through his gut. Starsky had some nerve calling and asking why he’d left. “You’ve got a short memory, partner.” The last word came out as a sneer. “You told me to leave.”
“What, I didn’t say that.”
“I’m not fighting with you again. Why don’t you leave me alone this time.” And he hung up the phone.
***
“Did your boyfriend leave? You two have a fight?”
Starsky turned toward the bedroom door. Mitzi stood leaning against the door frame.
“This is the last time I’m saying this. My private life is just that. And I’m sick of your snide comments. Hutch is my best friend and if I ever hear you make another comment about him that isn’t singing his praises, you’ll be sorry.”
Mitzi held up a hand. “Hey, I’m just saying...”
“I know what you’re saying. Now get out.”
***
Starsky was a bundle of nerves as he drove to work after the holidays. He’d tried to call Hutch several times but the phone was never answered. It was probably better if they talked face to face anyway. He’d replayed that night over and over in his head. Why had he said the things he’d said? He was ashamed to admit in some scenarios he and Hutch had ended up kissing instead of fighting.
Starsky looked but didn’t see Hutch’s car as he headed through the parking garage. Maybe that rusty bucket was in the shop again. Hutch wasn’t in the squad room but a glance at the clock showed he was early. He poured a cup of coffee and sat at the desk. He pulled out the stack of papers in their ‘in’ box and started to read through them.
“Starsky, glad you’re here early. I’ve got a new assignment for you.”
“Hutch isn’t here yet, Cap’n.”
“Just get in here.”
Starsky shrugged and picked up his coffee cup, following Captain Dobey into his office. He sat in one of the chairs in front of Dobey’s desk. “Have a good holiday, Cap’n?”
Dobey ignored the question. He didn’t want to have this conversation, so it was best to just get it over with. He picked up the phone and dialed. “Send him in.”
Starsky raised an eyebrow. What was going on? Were he and Hutch in trouble for something, again?
A moment later the door opened and a young man entered. Starsky figured he was in his middle twenties, he looked Hispanic. He glanced toward Starsky and then held his hand out to Dobey.
“Captain Dobey. Thank you for giving me this chance.”
“I’m not giving you anything.” Dobey said gruffly though he smiled. “You earned it.”
Starsky looked from one to the other, confused. “Don’t let me interrupt.”
Dobey glared at Starsky. “Starsky, this is Jimmy Diego. He’s your new partner.”
“Partner? What the hell are you talkin’ about? I already have a partner.”
“Hutch is working undercover with the DEA and they don’t know for how long. So you have a new partner. And I don’t want to hear another word about it.”
Jimmy held out his hand to Starsky, who reluctantly took it. “Just as long as you know it’s temporary.” Starsky said, looking at Dobey.
Starsky waited until Jimmy had left the room before he spoke to Captain Dobey. “I thought Hutch had finished his work with the DEA?”
“He volunteered when he came back from
Starsky nodded but he still felt uneasy. He didn’t like this arrangement on bit. Hutch would be out there without him watching his back.
***
Hutch leaned back in the booth. This wasn’t a good idea. He’d known it from the start but couldn’t help himself. He needed to touch base with something familiar. He’d had a moment to explain the situation with Huggy so he was safe. He hadn’t realized the pain would be so great.
“How much you got, Kenny?”
Hutch smiled at the young man across the booth from him. Randy was the youngest member of the gang he’d infiltrated. He was basically a good kid. He’d been living on the streets for two years, getting by whatever way he could.
“I think we got enough. You hungry?”
Randy laughed. “I’m always hungry, Kenny. You know that.”
“Yeah, I do. I’ll go put in an order. We’ll starve waiting for a waitress in this dump.” Hutch went to the bar and placed his order with Huggy. “Can you put it on my tab? I’m suppose to be hard up for money.”
“You and your partner are always hard up for money when it comes to paying your tab.” Huggy regretted his attempt at humor at the look on Hutch’s face. “No problem, Hutch.”
Hutch gave him a small smile and headed back to the table. Starsky. He’d been trying all night not to think about him but the place was full of memories. Memories of the two of them.
He
sighed as he sat back at the booth. He
still didn’t know what to do once this case was through. He’d hoped the feelings he had for his
partner would have gone back to normal over time but if anything they had
gotten worse. It had been almost three
weeks since he’d come back from
“Hey Kenny, you all right?”
“Yeah, fine. Just thinking.”
“Wondered what that burnin’ smell was.”
Hutch grinned as Randy chuckled at his own joke. “Get it, Kenny? Smelled something burnin’.”
“Yes, I got it. Very witty. We’re saved from more jokes by some chow.”
Hutch leaned back as the waitress brought two burgers, french fries and drinks.
“One double cheeseburger?” Randy nodded. “One soyburger?” Hutch smiled as she sat it in front of him.
“What the hell is that?”
“It’s good for you, that’s what.”
Randy shook his head as he bit into his burger. “Man, that’s great. Glad you picked this place.”
“Yeah, the food’s pretty good here.” Hutch glanced around, soaking up the atmosphere. He needed this. Somewhere he felt safe, if even for a few minutes. His burger was good, his mouth relished the change from the crap he’d been eating. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. Then he froze. He knew it was his imagination, it had to be but that laugh sounded just like...
“Hey Hug, how’s it hanging?” Starsky and Jimmy came through the front door. Starsky was still laughing at something Jimmy had said. They headed for the bar and took a couple of seats.
“Starsky, how ya doing man? What can I get ya?”
“We’ll take a couple of chili burgers and fries.” Starsky looked toward Jimmy, who nodded.
“Comin’ right up.”
Hutch was unable to take his eyes off Starsky. It felt like he hadn’t seen him in years. Who was that guy with him? His new partner? He felt a stab of jealousy. It’s none of your business, he reminded himself. Dobey had probably assigned him a partner. Starsky hadn’t asked for a new partner, had he?
“Somebody you know?”
Hutch was brought back by Randy’s voice. “Huh? No, thought I saw someone I know but...”
Hutch shrugged.
Randy looked again to where Hutch had been staring. “That dark haired guy? He ain’t bad looking. I’d give him a freebie.”
Hutch shook his head. Randy also turned tricks besides selling drugs. “We aren’t working at the moment, keep your mind on that burger.” Hutch ruffled Randy’s hair and then gave the top of his head a smack.
“What’s that guy’s problem?” Kenny glared past Starsky.
“Who?”
“That guy in the back booth. He’s giving me the eyeball.”
“Maybe he thinks you’re cute.” Starsky chuckled as he turned around on his stool. He grin slid off his face as he spotted Hutch. My God, look how thin he is.
Starsky let his eyes roam over Hutch. His hair was longer, his face covered with stubble. His clothes were baggy and looked like they came from the Good Will. Starsky locked eyes with Hutch, asking all the questions and saying things he couldn’t.
“That guy is eyeballing us.” Jimmy said again.
Starsky tore his eyes away from Hutch. “Just your imagination, how is that burger?”
Jimmy was already out of his seat and heading for the booth before Starsky could stop him. Hutch kept glancing at them as they both approached the booth.
“Hey, man. You got a problem?”
Hutch glanced at Jimmy and then to Starsky. “Tryin’ to eat in peace.”
“I saw you eyeballing me and I don’t like it.”
Hutch looked Jimmy up and down and then laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself. No one was looking at you.”
Jimmy’s face flushed and he took a step forward but Starsky moved in front of him.
“Forgive my partner, he’s a little gung ho at times.” Starsky grinned until he looked at Hutch. He saw a look of hurt and betrayal flit across his face and then it was gone.
“No harm done.”
“I don’t need you talkin’ for me, David.”
Hutch looked from Starsky to Jimmy. “Mind if we finish our meal? Alone?”
Starsky put a hand around Jimmy’s arm and pulled him backwards. “Sorry to bother you. We’re leaving.”
Hutch watched as they headed back to the bar. So, Starsky did have a new partner. David, huh? Hutch pushed his burger away, so much for his appetite.
“You all right?”
Hutch looked over at Randy. His face was pale. “Everything’s fine. You?”
Randy shrugged a shoulder. “I’m cool. Don’t think a couple of losers scare me, do ya?”
Hutch smiled. “No, I don’t. You gonna finish that?” Hutch nodded to Randy’s plate.
“Don’t think I’d let good food go to waste, do ya?” Randy grinned and picked up his burger. “You ain’t done, are ya?”
“I’m not as hungry as I thought.”
Hutch pushed his fries around on his plate as he waited for Randy to return from the men’s room. His gut was still twisted in knots. He hadn’t expected seeing Starsky again to effect him like that.
“You finished?”
Hutch looked up to see Huggy standing there. “Yeah, we’re done.”
“You okay, man?”
Hutch gave Huggy a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Huggy nodded. He glanced around. “Starsky wants to talk to you. Said he’d meet you at his place.”
Hutch opened his mouth to answer but Randy was heading back to the table. Hutch nodded.
***
Hutch stood outside of Starsky’s apartment. Another bad idea to round out the evening. He knew it but he didn’t care. He needed to see Starsky, needed to hear his voice. He ascended the steps and knocked softly. The door was opened a moment later.
“Since when do you knock?”
Hutch stood there, drinking in the site of Starsky. He was wearing a loose pair of jeans and a
t-shirt. “Can I come in?”
Starsky frowned but moved aside. “Want a beer?”
Hutch nodded. He stood looking around the apartment. Nothing had changed since the last time he’d been there. “Plants look good.”
Starsky handed him a beer and sat on the couch. “I’ve been taking care of ‘em. Sit down, you’re making me nervous.”
Hutch glanced to where Starsky sat on the couch and then moved to the chair. He perched on the edge, like he was ready to take off.
Starsky took a drink, then leaned back. He let out a sigh. He didn’t know what he wanted to say first. “You’ve lost weight.”
Hutch gave a shrug. Starsky closed his eyes briefly. “Why are you doing this? Why did you volunteer for this case?”
Hutch shrugged again. Starsky gritted his teeth but waited.
“They needed help.”
“But you had finished. Why did you go back?”
“Figured it was best.”
“Best for who? We’re partners.”
“Looks like you’ve got a new partner.” Hutch didn’t succeed in keeping the anger and hurt from his voice.
“That was Dobey’s doing. You think I wanted a new partner?”
“Yes, I do.”
Starsky’s mouth fell open. “What? How can you say that?”
“I think...I think it’s for the best.”
“What is wrong with you? We are partners, always will be.”
Hutch stood and headed for the door. “I can’t do this.”
Starsky jumped up and grabbed his arm. “Talk to me, Hutch. What is going on here?”
Hutch tried to shake Starsky’s hand off but he tightened his grip. “Let go.”
“No, not till you tell me what is going on? We’ve always been able to work things out. If this is about what happened before, let’s just forget about that.”
“Forget it? You accused me, remember?”
“I’m sorry. I overreacted. Tell me what is wrong.”
“You don’t want to know.”
Starsky pushed Hutch against the door and slammed his hand on the wood. Hutch flinched, as if he had expected Starsky to hit him. Starsky felt his temper rising. “Talk to me, Hutch.”
Hutch closed his eyes. Starsky stood in front of him, mere inches away. He felt himself drawn to him. He wanted to pull Starsky’s body to him, feel his warmth against his body. He balled his hands into fists. “I can’t.”
Even as close as Starsky was to him, he still could barely hear Hutch. “Why, Hutch? Why can’t you talk to me?”
Hutch could hear the hurt in Starsky’s voice. He pushed him away and ran down the steps.
***
“Cap’n you need to pull Hutch from that case. He’s in bad shape.”
Captain Dobey watched as Starsky paced back and forth in front of his desk. He didn’t know what had happened between his two best detectives but he didn’t like it. There was also nothing he could do.
“I told you, Starsky. He volunteered for this assignment. I have no say in it.”
“Cap’n, you’ve gotta do something. I’m worried about him. He doesn’t have me to watch his back.”
Dobey could hear the pain in Starsky’s voice. He knew how it was with partners but he also knew their partnership was different than most. “I’m sorry. He has to stay under until the case is over or he requests it himself.”
“You know he’d never quit on a case, he’s too damn stubborn.”
“Yeah, like you.”
A bitter smile twisted Starsky’s face. Yes, just like him. As tempted as he was to slam the door as he left Dobey’s office, he didn’t. He knew it wasn’t Dobey’s fault. If this mess was anyone’s fault, it was his. He should never had acted like he had at his mother’s. He knew Hutch had been asleep, it had been his fault for letting it go as far as it had. His fault for wanting it to go farther. And he still did. Every night as he tried to sleep, he could feel Hutch’s hands on him. But how could he ever tell his partner, his very heterosexual partner, that he wanted him?
***
Starsky groped for the phone. Lightening from a storm lit up the bedroom. He saw it was 4 AM as he finally grabbed it, stopping the incessant ringing. “This better be good.”
He heard nothing but the sounds of the storm. “Hello?”
“I’m out on that raft. Nothing but the ocean around me, the storm tossing me and I don’t know if I can hang on.”
The voice was soft, hard to hear over the storm raging outside but it chilled him to the bone.
“Hutch, where are you? Tell me and I’ll come get you.”
“The lightening only shows glimpses but all I see is ocean. I’m lost, no one knows or cares.” Hutch’s voice was slurred.
“I care, damn it. Tell me where you are.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anymore, Starsky. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’m scared.”
Starsky gripped the phone harder. “Look around you, babe. Where did you start out, what’s around you.”
Hutch pulled himself up from where he huddled in the bottom of a phone booth. “I’m in a phone booth.”
“Good, that’s good. What else?”
“I see a street light, there is a store across the street.” He began to cough and a moan escaped.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“Got what I deserved.” Hutch coughed again. “I don’t think they’ll be back.”
“Can you see the name of the store? Anything else?” Starsky bit his lip to keep from asking more.
“Harry’s Bar and Grill.”
“Got it. You hang in there, babe. I’ll be there in 15 minutes. You stay out of sight, block the door.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m on my way.”
Starsky broke every traffic law and a few
that hadn’t been written yet as he headed for
Starsky slid the car to a stop in front of the phone booth. At first he thought it was empty but as he got closer he saw a crumbled figure lying in the bottom. He’s dead. The thought went through him. He pushed on the door but Hutch’s body was wedged so the door wouldn’t open any further. Well, he did as you told him.
Starsky bent down and reached a hand in to touch Hutch’s leg. His clothes were soaked.
“Hutch, it’s me. You gotta move.” No response. Starsky tugged on the leg closest to the opening. “Hutch, babe. You gotta move so I can get you got of here.”
The leg twitched. Hutch raised his head from the floor and looked back. Starsky tightened his grip on Hutch’s leg, willing himself not to shout. Hutch’s face was covered in blood. One eye was swollen shut. As Starsky pushed the door open further and the light came on he could see Hutch’s other eye was blood red. His check was cut and swollen, his lip split.
“Starsky?”
“Yeah, babe. Come on, let me get you up.”
Hutch moved his legs so Starsky could get the door open. He reached under Hutch’s arms to pull him to his feet. Hutch closed his eyes, groaning.
“Sorry, babe. Sorry.” Starsky helped Hutch to the car and opened the door. Instead of getting in, Hutch just stood there.
“Get in. You need a hospital.”
“No.”
“Yes. You need to be checked out.”
“I can’t get in.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll get your car wet.”
Starsky stared at him. “Get in the damn car, Hutch.”
“No, Starsk.”
Starsky swore and dug his keys out of his pocket. He went to the trunk and pulled out a blanket. He slammed the trunk, shaking out the blanket. He draped it across Hutch’s shoulders. “Okay, get in.”
Hutch pulled the blanket around him and dropped into the seat. “I don’t need a doctor.”
“Your face says otherwise. Wanna tell me what happened?”
Hutch just sat there, staring at his feet. “We can’t go to one around here, in case someone sees me.”
Starsky drove as fast as he could. He pulled into a no parking zone in front of the emergency room. He opened the passenger door and reached in to help Hutch out.
“You can’t park here.”
“Who says?”
“You go park. I can go in myself.”
“I’ll park later. Just shut up and let me help.”
Hutch sighed and let Starsky help him to the desk. The nurse told them to have a seat but after a glare from Starsky and a flash of his badge they were shown into an exam room.
“I’m gonna go move the car. Don’t move.”
Hutch nodded. He tried to lay back onto the table but the pain in his side stopped him. He settled on leaning against the wall. He closed his eyes for a moment it seemed and Starsky was back.
“Hey, you need to get out of those clothes so they can check you out.”
“My clothes aren’t lead lined. They can x-ray me through them.”
Starsky decided not to push it. “All right. You want anything?”
“A whiskey would be good.”
“Think you’ve had enough of that.”
“Can you get me something for pain then?”
“Sorry, babe. I’m not thinking. Let me see what I can do.” Starsky gave Hutch’s leg a squeeze and headed out. He returned in a few minutes with a doctor in tow.
“Detective
“I don’t think so.”
The doctor looked from Starsky to Hutch. Hutch nodded and the doctor continued. He took a few minutes to poke and prod, producing grunts and winces from Hutch. “I’m going to send you down to x-ray. Want to tell me what happened?”
Hutch shot a look at Starsky and then spoke. “Got beat up.”
“How many?”
“Three or four.”
“Okay, after I look at the x-rays I’ll let you know where we stand.”
Hutch waited until the doctor left before turning to Starsky. “You don’t have to wait. I can take a cab home.”
“I’ll wait. So, what happened?”
“Like I said, I got beat up.”
Starsky pulled a chair beside the table. “Is this about the case?”
Hutch shook his head. “I don’t think so.” He sat there a few minutes then continued. “I think they saw me and Randy earlier.”
“Randy, he the kid you were with at Huggy’s?”
Hutch nodded. “Randy deals and takes an occasional trick.” Hutch fiddled with a rip in his shirt. “I think...I think they thought...”
An orderly picked that moment to come into the exam room. “I’m here to take you to x-ray.”
“You want me to come with you?”
“And have you blame me if you turn up sterile, no wait here.” Hutch gave a small smile.
Starsky helped Hutch off the table and into the wheel chair. “Make sure they don’t nuke your parts off.” He gave Hutch’s shoulder a squeeze.
***
Starsky tried not to pace as he waited for Hutch to return from x-ray. He hated this case Hutch was on and he hated that he wasn’t there to look after Hutch. This would have never happened if he had been there. He’d be having a talk with that DEA shit tomorrow.
They wheeled Hutch back a few minutes later and the doctor returned right after that.
“Well, Detective it’s not as bad as it could be. You have a slight concussion. You’re going to need stitches. Your ribs are just bruised.”
“So he’s gonna be okay?”
“He needs a few days rest but he’ll be all right. I’ll get a suture kit and be right back.”
Starsky followed the doctor outside. “He’s really gonna be okay.?
“Your partner needs to take care of himself. He needs rest and he’s looks like he’s lost weight. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Is he taking anything?”
“No.” Starsky glared.
“We can run a drug test if you want, but as I said, there is nothing life threatening.”
Starsky headed back into the exam room to wait with Hutch. Twenty minutes later they were leaving the hospital.
“You can drop me off near Huggy’s. I can walk from there.”
“Don’t think so partner. I’m taking you home.”
“Starsky, that isn’t necessary. I’m fine.”
“That isn’t what the doctor said.”
“I’m on a case. I can’t just disappear.”
“You come to my place, stay a few days, get some rest and then you can go back on your case.”
“Starsky.”
“Don’t Starsky me.”
The rest of the ride was silent. Hutch dozed in the passenger seat, he tried to wave Starsky off when he came around to help him out of the car. Starsky stood there, arms crossed while Hutch tried to get out of the car. His muscles had tightened up and he couldn’t stand. Hutch gave a sigh then held out an arm. Starsky moved to stand in front of him and bent to help him stand. They took the steps slow and once inside Starsky headed them toward the bathroom.
“Where are we going?”
“To clean you up.”
Starsky had him sit on the toilet while he ran water in the bath. He got out some antiseptic and cleaned the cuts on Hutch’s face.
“Keep still, you baby.”
“Let me put acid on your face and we’ll see.”
Starsky grinned and started unbuttoning Hutch’s shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to help you get undressed. The water’s almost ready.” Starsky finished with the buttons and then went to turn off the water. Hutch stood and unbuckled his pants.
“I think I can handle it from here.”
“I’m not having you slip and fall. Or drown yourself. Sit.”
Hutch gave him a sheepish grin and then sat back on the toilet. Starsky bent down to undo his shoes and remove his socks. He helped Hutch stand back up and worked the damp jeans off. He held onto his elbow while Hutch lowered himself into the hot water. He hissed as the water crept up his body. He eased back until he could rest his head on the back of the tub. “Got any bubble bath?”
Starsky shook a bottle of bath wash. “You gave me this last Christmas. You know how I like bubbles.”
Hutch laughed and then winced and put a hand to his mouth. “Ow, don’t make me laugh.”
“I’ll get you some of your pain pills. Don’t fall asleep.”
Hutch closed his eyes when Starsky left the room. He let out a big sigh. He felt like he could relax for the first time in weeks. He bent his knees and slid down lower into the water. Gradually he felt warm.
“Here’s a pill and some water. You doin’ okay?”
Hutch opened his good eye. “Gettin’ there.” He took the pill and water Starsky handed him.
“Can you move up? You got blood in your hair, I want to wash it.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“It’ll be quicker. I’ll help.”
Starsky helped Hutch move further up in the tub. He poured some shampoo into his hand and lathered Hutch’s hair. “Tilt your head back.” Hutch tilted his head and Starsky poured water out of a cup, holding his hand so water didn’t run into Hutch’s face. His hair was quickly rinsed.
“All done. You wanna soak a little more?”
“No. I don’t think I can hold my eyes or rather eye open anymore.”
Starsky laughed. “Okay big boy. Let’s get you out of there.” Starsky help Hutch up and out of the tub. He grabbed a couple of towels. “You do the front, I’ll do the back.” After he was dry, Starsky helped him step into some pajama bottoms. Then they headed to the bedroom.
“I can sleep on the couch.”
“No way, Hutch.” He pulled the sheets down and then eased Hutch into the bed. “You need anything?”
“No, I’m fine. Thanks, buddy.”
Starsky gathered up Hutch’s clothes and threw them in the washer. He turned out the lights and changed. He got into the other side of the bed and moved behind Hutch.
“What are you doing?”
“Gettin’ comfortable.” Starsky snuggled up to Hutch’s back and wrapped his arm around his waist.
“Starsky.”
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you but you’ve been avoiding me. Now you have to listen.”
Starsky whispered in Hutch’s ear.
Hutch shivered at the warm breath in his ear, Starsky’s arm around his waist. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I didn’t get a chance to say I wasn’t mad at you. I...I wasn’t asleep that night, or the time before that. I could have stopped you but I...I didn’t want to. I’m sorry, Hutch. I wanted you to touch me. I felt ashamed that I didn’t stop you, I figured you were having some dream about one of your ladies but then.” Starsky paused and moved his hand to run down Hutch’s arm. “Then you said my name. It freaked me out and I panicked. I’m sorry I said those things to you. Sorry I used you that way. Can you forgive me?”
Hutch let out his breath. “You wanted me to touch you? Whadda ya mean by that?” Hutch was afraid to hope. There was no way Starsky could feel the same.
Starsky sighed. “I can’t say exactly when it happened. Maybe it’s always been there but I just couldn’t see it. We’ve always been close, people have commented on how close we are. Closer than most partners I guess. Like you said before, we spend three-quarters of our time together. After a couple days at my mom’s I started missing you something bad. At first I figured it was just because we do spend so much time together. But I realized it was more than that. I don’t like being without you. I miss having you to talk to, to touch. I love touching you, Hutch. Having you touch me. I love you. More than any other person. What I’ve felt for the women I’ve been with, what I thought was love, it doesn’t come close to what I feel for you.”
Starsky paused and cleared his throat. He closed his hand over Hutch’s. “I don’t want to mess things up between us. I know I did before but I wanna make things right. I know you probably don’t feel the same and I hope you don’t hate me for saying all this. But I had to try and set things right. I can’t be without you, babe. I’ve been miserable these past few weeks, hell it’s seemed like a life time. Can we still be friends? Partners?”
Hutch laid there in shock. Could this be true? Could Starsky really feel the same? All this time he had made himself stay away, figuring Starsky hated him and he felt exactly the same?
Starsky held his breath. What was Hutch going to say? Did he hate him? He felt Hutch’s body begin to shake. Shit, what had he done? He should have stayed quiet. Then he heard Hutch...laughing?
“What the hell is so funny?” Starsky raised up on an elbow, glaring down at Hutch.
Hutch rolled onto his back, groaning slightly as his ribs protested. He raised a hand to touch Starsky’s cheek. “You...me...us. That’s what’s funny.”
“I don’t understand.”
Hutch smiled, wincing against the pain in his lip. “You and me. Me and thee. Always on the same page whether we know it or not.”
Starsky frowned.
“I’ve never had a connection with anyone like the one we have. You didn’t ask me why I said your name that night.”
“Why?”
“I felt lost with you gone. I was mad that you were in
Starsky stared down at Hutch for a moment and then a slow smile appeared on his face. He lightly touched the parts of Hutch’s face that weren’t bruised. The face he knew as well as his own. He leaned down and lightly kissed Hutch’s swollen lips. Hutch brought a his hand up to Starsky’s neck and pulled his closer. He opened his mouth to Starsky’s kiss and groaned both at the kiss and the pain in his lip. Starsky pulled back.
“We may both think the same but we’ve got lousy timing.” He dabbed at Hutch’s mouth with the sheet. “Lay back down, babe. We got plenty of time after you heal.”
“I love you, Starsk.” Hutch laid back down on his side, pulling Starsky’s arm around him.
“Love you too, Blondie.” He kissed Hutch’s neck and snuggled close. Soon they were both asleep.
***
Hutch woke the next morning groaning as he tried to stretch. The night came back to him in a moment. He slowly turned and saw he was alone in bed. He ran a hand cautiously over his face. Where was Starsky? Did he regret the things he’d said? He tried to set up and groaned again. He hated feeling weak. He wasn’t weak or helpless. He rolled back on his side and pushed himself up. After going to the john, he headed towards the kitchen.
Hutch stopped in the living room. Starsky stood looking out the window sipping coffee. Hutch stood there enjoying the sight of the highlights the sun made on Starsky’s hair. He’d missed just looking at him. Starsky turned and smiled.
“Hey, you’re up. Coffee’s made.” Starsky went and poured a cup of coffee as Hutch shuffled into the kitchen. Starsky sat the cup on the table. Hutch grimaced as he tried to sit.
“Let me get you some pain pills, babe.” He moved to the counter and shook out a couple of pills. “You’re a painful shade of black and blue today.” Starsky gently took hold of Hutch’s chin and moved his head from side to side. “Your eye is still pretty red.”
“I can see okay.” Hutch swallowed the pills and leaned back in the chair. He ran a hand over his arm. “You got a spare robe or something? I feel kind of cold.”
Starsky ran a hand down Hutch’s back and then leaned over to kiss him softly on the mouth.
“Yeah, let me get you one.”
Hutch reached up to pull his head down for another kiss. “Thanks, babe.”
Starsky’s face split into a grin. He brought back a robe and helped Hutch into it. He gave him another kiss. “Want some breakfast? I got eggs, bacon. Think I got some frozen hash browns if you want.”
“Eggs and bacon would get great. Toast?”
“Sure thing. You just drink your coffee and let old Starsk take care of you.”
“That sounds great.”
Hutch watched Starsky move around the kitchen, humming. He couldn’t help smiling. Last night he had been at the end of his rope. The combination of being undercover and him and Starsky not speaking had taken a toil on him. He’d gotten drunk and that’s when the four men had followed him out of the bar. He hadn’t really tried to fight back, figuring he was getting what he deserved. They had accused him of being a homo, laughing and taunting as they beat the shit out of him. Now here he was feeling happier than he had in a long time.
“Whadda ya smiling at, blondie?”
“You. All you need is an apron.”
“I need one that says “Kiss the cook.”
“I can handle that if you come a little closer.”
Starsky moved the pan from the burner and gave Hutch tender kisses. “How’s your mouth feel?”
“Better now.” Hutch grinned then yawned. “Pain medicine is starting to kick in. I may make it through breakfast.”
“Well after you eat it’s back to bed. Doc said you needed to rest.”
“I don’t think I can argue with that.” Hutch continued to watch Starsky move around the kitchen. As happy as he felt right now he couldn’t help wonder if he’d done the right thing. This was going to change everything, their friendship, their jobs. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Starsky he felt the same. Maybe they should forget last night had happened, go back to the way things were.
“You’ve got that look.”
Hutch looked up to see Starsky watching him. “What look?”
“That look you get when you are analyzing things. Don’t. We are where we should be. Together. We’ve been building up to this moment for years, Hutch. You know it, I know it. It’s fate, karmic, whatever you wanna call it. We belong together.”
“But Starsk, what about...”
Starsky came over and crouched down in front of Hutch’s chair. He took Hutch’s hands in his. “I love you. No buts about it. Nothing else is important. We can deal with whatever comes up, together. Our jobs, families, friends. All of that is secondary to us.”
Hutch smiled, wincing again as his lip stretched. “When did you get so smart?”
Starsky grinned. He stood and gave Hutch a small kiss. “I learned it from my partner. He’s pretty smart, but he worries too much.”
“Just trying to keep you out of trouble.”
“Trouble, me? You got me confused with someone else.” Starsky moved back to the stove and started dishing out the food. “Eat, then get some rest. We got plenty of time to talk when you’re done with this case.”
***
Hutch didn’t know what woke him. He raised his head to look over Starsky’s
shoulder at the clock. 4 AM. He sighed.
He was going back undercover today.
He had healed enough, physically and emotionally. He lowered his head back to the pillow,
tightening his arms around Starsky’s waist.
He nuzzled the back of Starsky’s neck.
He loved lying like this. Holding
Starsky in his arms. If only he hadn’t
screwed things up in
***
Dobey watched as Starsky paced the detective’s room while Kenny typed up a report. He was surprised Starsky was doing as well as he was with Hutch gone. He had been worried until two weeks ago. Starsky had seemed calmer then but as time continued to pass and Hutch’s case continued Starsky’s impatience returned. His phone rang and he moved to answer it.
“Dobey.”
“Captain, it’s me, Hutch.”
“Hutch. Good to hear from you. You okay?” Dobey was concerned with the tiredness he heard in Hutch’s voice.
“Fine. We wrapped up the case late last night. It’s finally over.” Hutch let out a deep sigh.
“I’m headed back to my place now to get some sleep. I just wanted to let you know.”
“Great. I’m glad it’s finally over. You take a couple of weeks off before you come back.”
“I don’t need that long, Captain. A week would be great though.”
“A week then. Have you talked to Starsky?”
“No, I haven’t had a chance to call him. Is he there?”
“Yeah, let me get him before he heads out. I know he’ll be thrilled to hear from you. Hold on.”
Captain Dobey laid the phone down and glanced toward the detective room. Kenny was pulling a sheet of paper out of the typewriter, Starsky perched on the edge of the desk.
“Starsky, my office. Now.” Dobey barked.
Starsky looked up. He saw Dobey glaring at him and wondered what he had done now. He got up sighing and headed to the door. “What’s up, Cap’n?”
“Phone is for you.” Dobey jerked his thumb toward the phone. He slammed the door as he left and grinned.
Starsky shook his head. Why hadn’t Dobey just transferred the call to his phone?
“Starsky.”
“Is this the Detective Starsky who wears those crummy jeans and drives that striped tomato?”
“Hutch? Babe, where are you? You okay?”
Hutch chuckled, smiling into the phone. “I’m fine. We closed the case last night. I just finished the debrief and I’m on my way home. I think after a shower and sleep I might feel human again.”
Starsky dropped into Dobey’s chair. “Thank god it’s over, babe. Maybe I can get today off. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I want to see you too, but I’m wiped out. You stay there, just come by when you get off, okay?”
Starsky tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. “You sure? Everything okay? I didn’t get a chance before you left...”
Hutch cut in. “Everything’s fine, babe. I can’t wait to see you but I don’t think I’d last until you got here. I just wanna sleep right now. Wash the shit of this case off me and just sleep. Bring something good to eat by my place when you get off?”
Starsky sighed. “Yeah, you get some sleep. I’ll bring something good, but not that rabbit shit you eat. Something really good.”
“Surprise me, okay?”
“You got it.” Starsky smiled then lowered his voice. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Be careful.”
“You bet. I got big plans tonight.”
Starsky sat there grinning at the phone. He had wondered if this case would ever end. He hoped today went by fast.
Starsky headed towards Hutch’s apartment. He had to force himself not to speed. He first stopped at Hutch’s favorite Chinese restaurant for the order he’d called in. He then stopped at the grocery store to pick up some beer. He racked his brain for something else he might have forgotten. He wished he had time for a better ‘welcome home’ but he’d do that later. Right now all he wanted to do was see Hutch, hold him.
He pulled in front of
Starsky grabbed the bags and headed up the stairs. He grabbed the key off the door sill and let himself in. The apartment was quiet. He placed the bags on the table and put the beer in the refrigerator. He headed for the bedroom. Hutch was wrapped up in the covers, his head covered. Starsky sat on the edge of bed. He rubbed his hand along Hutch’s thigh.
“Hey babe.”
Hutch’s leg twitched.
Starsky patted his leg and ran his hand up to Hutch’s hip. “Hutch.”
“Hmmm?”
“It’s me, Starsky.”
“Starsk?”
Starsky watched as Hutch struggled to open his eyes and then gave him a sleepy smile.
“Hey.”
“Hey, yourself. I brought dinner. You wanna eat or sleep some more?”
Hutch yawned and rolled onto his back. “I can sleep later.” He stretched. “Gosh, I was more tired than I thought. What time is it?”
“A little after 6. I brought Chinese.”
“My favorite, after Italian that is.” He reached up and pulled Starsky’s head down toward him. He gave Starsky a soft kiss.
Starsky brushed the hair off Hutch’s forehead. He smiled down at him. “I’m glad you’re back. And I’m sorry.”
Hutch shook his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. That’s all in the past. Just you and me now.” Hutch rubbed his knuckles across Starsky’s face. “If that’s what you still want.”
Starsky smiled and leaned down to kiss Hutch again. A long, slow kiss. He smiled again when he pulled back. “Nothing I want more, babe. Me and Thee, just with added benefits now.”
Hutch laughed, grabbing Starsky and pulling him down on the bed. He rolled them so Starsky was now on the bottom. “You hungry?”
“Not for Chinese.”
Hutch smiled. “We’ll work on that appetite.”
Starsky ran his fingers through Hutch’s baby fine hair and then down to Hutch’s neck. He gently pulled Hutch’s head down. “I’m hungry for you, babe. Only you.”
The End