Eden understood. “A guy like Brody Mitchum will only take a girl two places,” she said. “Where the attack starts and where the attack stops.” She put her hand on my shoulder to brace me for the truth. “He did force her, Mr. Bennet. But, you can get her counseling for that. You can help her through anything, as long as she's alive.”
Then, as long as she was alive, I thought, I would help Claire through anything. But, I would have to handle the immediate anything in stages. First, I would take her mind off things, which called for cocoa and old movies. That night, we caught one of her favorites on cable, Clash of the Titans. She adored Pegasus, cooing over him the way her mother did over Mr. Muggles. If there were special animals, as well as special people, I would find my little girl a flying horse one day. I would.But, Claire didn’t focus on Pegasus this time. Now, she paid attention to Andromeda, as the giant buzzard carried off her dream-self to the evil Calibos. “Don’t let him throw you down! Run! Get back in your body!”
The scene triggered her memory. I pushed a nagging feeling to the back of my mind, as I kissed her head and held her closer. When the movie ended, one of Olivier’s last, they showed one of Olivier’s first, Hamlet. I didn’t think Shakespearean tragedy was suitable at that point, but Claire said she thought young Olivier was hot, so we watched. Everything was fine until the soliloquy:
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Stunned, I thought back to the tapes Claire made with Zach. I’d deluded myself into believing that the otherwise mortal injuries only resulted in temporary loss of consciousness. “Oh, my God!”
I vomited, cursing my weakness. What right did I have to be sick at the sight of my daughter’s autopsy photos? That was what she had to wake to, to come back to. But, come back from where? “Somewhere else,” she said. But, how could I help her when she was Somewhere Else? I couldn’t follow her to the undiscovered country she’d seen, not under the same terms, anyway. Eden pegged it; I could only help Claire, be with Claire, as long as she was alive.
But, how do I keep her alive? Sylar will want to kill my baby. That microbe-ridden meat sack quarterback had killed my baby, killed her so frighteningly easily, and she might’ve stayed dead if the coroner hadn’t removed the tree branch. Don’t think about that. I thought about how she was alive, right now.
But, what if Claire decided she didn’t want to live? What if she decided it was nicer, warmer, or kinder Somewhere Else? Zach recorded an awful lot of attempts on those tapes. What if Somewhere Else was parceled out, and she left for a homestead she’d been decorating all this time? I couldn’t bear it! Get a grip. I thought about how she was alive, right now. I sent the Haitian for the coroner and various morgue attendants.
Later, my Claire, covered in her own blood, fretted over the man who saved her. It hadn’t been me, but one Peter Petrelli. He was special, like her, and had absorbed her power in the process of doing my job for me. He could share Somewhere Else with her, now, on the same terms. Calm down. I thought about how she was alive, right now.
“Thank you for shooting first,” I said when it was nearly too late. I told Parkman to send my daughter Somewhere Else in order to save my wife, and Claire had gone willingly, hating me for bringing the family to this point. Hate me all you want, Claire-Bear. Just come back. She coughed up blood and bullet, a knife for me in her eyes. Never mind. I thought about how she was alive, right now.
On the bridge, I thought about how she was alive, right now. I focused on my little girl’s baby soft golden hair. If I couldn’t share Somewhere Else with my Claire, at least I could share the pain of a bullet with her. I could share that pain after my memory of the bullet was gone, knowing in a place beyond memory that her golden hair rested on a safe pillow.
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