1am    -   Alarm clock rings.
2am    -   Hunting partner arrives, drags me out of bed.
2:30am - Throw everything but the kitchen sink into the pick-up truck.
3am    -   Leave for the woods.
3:15am -  Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30am -  Drive like mad to get to the woods before daylight.
4am    -    Set up camp...forgot the tent.
4:30am -  Head into the woods.
6:05am -  See 8 deer.
6:06am -  Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07am -  Click!
6:08am -  Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
8am     -   Return to camp.
9am     -   Still looking for camp.
10am   -   Realize I don't know where camp is.
NOON -  Fire gun for help, eat wild berries.
12:15pm- Strange feeling in stomach.
12:20pm- Realize I ate poison berries.
12:45pm- Rescued!
12:55pm- Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3pm    -   Arrive back in camp.
3:30pm -  Leave camp to to shoot deer.
4pm     -   Return to camp for shells.
4:15pm -  Load gun, leave camp again.
5pm     -   Empty gun on squirrel that is bothering
6pm     -   Return to camp. See deer grazing at camp.
6:01pm -   Load gun.
6:02pm -   One dead pick-up.
6:05pm -   Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06pm -   Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07pm -   Fall into campfire.
6:10pm -   Change clothes, throw burnt clothes into fire.
6:15pm -   Take pick-up and leave hunting partner and deer in camp.
6:20pm -   Pick-up truck boils over...hole shot in radiator.
6:26pm -   Start walking.
6:30pm -   Stumble and fall, stick barrel of gun in mud.
6:35pm -   Meet bear.
6:36pm -   Take aim.
6:37pm -   Pull trigger, blow-up gun barrel filled with mud.
6:38pm -   Mess pants!
6:39pm -   Climb tree.
9pm     -   Bear departs. Wrap gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT-Home at last.
Sunday morning-Sit watching football, slowly tearing up hunting liscence into tiny pieces. Place pieces into an envelope and mail them to the state Game and Hunting commisioner with very preciece instructions on where to stick them!