The Opposite Of An Idiot Savant

I can paint you a picture - magnifi!
write poem's that rival Rimbaud? - no prob!
I can bake you a cake for your cousin's wake
I can do anything you want
anything you want, except sing you a song

touch a piano? nails on a chalkboard
strum a guitar? forks on dinnerplates
hum a melody? how many suicide's do you want to see?
I own a lot of music
and musical instruments, I just can't use them

I can make sweet love all day - ooooooh yeah
want me to dance? I'm a disco incarnate
tell a joke? I'm like Pryor, Hicks, or Carlin
I can do anything, I don't know why
anything except for what I really want to do

I can keep a beat
like a cripple can get up on his feet

I can keep a beat
like rotten eggs reek

I can do anything you want
except if you want me to sing along
then I'm the opposite of an idiot savant
I try, but the words come out all wrong

Oh so wrong!